Should I take on 80k of student debt to get away from my controlling mother? I’m going to fall apart in this household.

TL;DR - my mother is crazy controlling and I can’t do anything but academic or church related. I want freedom and space, but that will cost 80k of debt. Med school will be a lot of debt anyway, should I go for it?

Okay so I (17M) was nominated for a full tuition scholarship (I won’t say the name) to certain private universities across America. I have a fair shot of getting the scholarship if I’m being honest (like 40% of kids nominated get it).

I want to become a surgeon. I know the type and specialty, I understand how to get there, and (not to sound rude) I know it’s possible as long as I stay responsible with studies. Three of these schools could provide a great way to meet my goal. The road block in my life, however, is my mom (I feel horrible saying this but it’s true).

So I’m growing up with a very religious, questionably conservative mother, who believes in a sea of conspiracy theories (moon landing denier, anti-Vaxer, 9/11 was a set up, doesn’t trust dermatologists, we are purposely being poisoned/chem trails, etc). Also she doesn’t believe women should vote, work outside the house, nor teach at church (I know it’s crazy, she puts herself on a pedestal for being a stay-at-home mom). I can’t do anything that’s not church, academic, or family related. No parties, no get-togethers with friends, no movies, no dances (not even prom), no dating, no interest in anything magical, no to most music, etc. She, two weeks ago, told me to not refer to my friends at school as friends, but “acquaintances” because I should not be friends with the world/not have friends at school. I’ve felt so isolated this past year as I realized how much I can’t do, how little I can enjoy my youth. I don’t have siblings at home so it’s literally just me being alone. I’m not even supposed to how social media but I honestly don’t care, I need some socializing outside of school. Also my mom has a temper/doesn’t know how to deal with people who have differing opinions (especially if it’s me, she literally flips out - she has said a lot of horrible things in anger, although I know she doesn’t mean it, as a Christian she should have self control)

So I see this scholarship as a way out (it’s early decision so if I apply, then I have to go to that school). But I still have to pay for room and board/text books, so that will be 20k of debt per year if I don’t get a supplemental scholarship from the school.

But I just want freedom. I want to move a thousand miles away. I love her, but I feel like I’m drowning. I can’t be my own person. I don’t believe most stuff she does and she doesn’t know, so whenever she makes fun of people with my opinions it sucks.

I’ll take on 200k-300k debt for medschool anyway, so does it really matter? If I stay instate, I’d have to come home for every weekend.

Submitted September 16, 2019 at 11:23PM

TL;DR - my mother is crazy controlling and I can’t do anything but academic or church related. I want freedom and space, but that will cost 80k of debt. Med school will be a lot of debt anyway, should I go for it?Okay so I (17M) was nominated for a full tuition scholarship (I won’t say the name) to certain private universities across America. I have a fair shot of getting the scholarship if I’m being honest (like 40% of kids nominated get it).I want to become a surgeon. I know the type and specialty, I understand how to get there, and (not to sound rude) I know it’s possible as long as I stay responsible with studies. Three of these schools could provide a great way to meet my goal. The road block in my life, however, is my mom (I feel horrible saying this but it’s true).So I’m growing up with a very religious, questionably conservative mother, who believes in a sea of conspiracy theories (moon landing denier, anti-Vaxer, 9/11 was a set up, doesn’t trust dermatologists, we are purposely being poisoned/chem trails, etc). Also she doesn’t believe women should vote, work outside the house, nor teach at church (I know it’s crazy, she puts herself on a pedestal for being a stay-at-home mom). I can’t do anything that’s not church, academic, or family related. No parties, no get-togethers with friends, no movies, no dances (not even prom), no dating, no interest in anything magical, no to most music, etc. She, two weeks ago, told me to not refer to my friends at school as friends, but “acquaintances” because I should not be friends with the world/not have friends at school. I’ve felt so isolated this past year as I realized how much I can’t do, how little I can enjoy my youth. I don’t have siblings at home so it’s literally just me being alone. I’m not even supposed to how social media but I honestly don’t care, I need some socializing outside of school. Also my mom has a temper/doesn’t know how to deal with people who have differing opinions (especially if it’s me, she literally flips out - she has said a lot of horrible things in anger, although I know she doesn’t mean it, as a Christian she should have self control)So I see this scholarship as a way out (it’s early decision so if I apply, then I have to go to that school). But I still have to pay for room and board/text books, so that will be 20k of debt per year if I don’t get a supplemental scholarship from the school.But I just want freedom. I want to move a thousand miles away. I love her, but I feel like I’m drowning. I can’t be my own person. I don’t believe most stuff she does and she doesn’t know, so whenever she makes fun of people with my opinions it sucks.I’ll take on 200k-300k debt for medschool anyway, so does it really matter? If I stay instate, I’d have to come home for every weekend.