Me (22 M) is getting annoyed at my 3 year long boyfriend (25 M) for not wanting to communicate.

First of all, I love my boyfriend to pieces. But more so than usual, he’s been unable to properly communicate his concerns to me. This just results in him sulking and being dismissive.

For example, I asked him if he wanted to join me and my friends for a movie. He said sure, but wondered why I didn’t ask him first and if I would’ve gone if he couldn’t. I was quite confused and just told him that because his schedule is more flexible that I would ask him last and that I was going to invite him regardless. He thought that the way I said it wasn’t indicating that and I just told him that he shouldn’t worry and that I was going to go with him anyways. He then got pissed a bit but avoiding the topic. I then ask: “are you still mad about the movie thing?” He goes: “yeah, but I have to get over it and can you already drop it?!”

Im usually the person to just want to talk things out and discuss why we feel a certain way and how we can improve looking forward (perks of being treated by a psychologist). He doesn’t want to do that often, he just wants to remain pissed and be dismissive. This annoys the crap out of me and often things don’t get talked about and eventually resurface anyway. He also likes to pretend stuff didn’t happen and to me just seems toxic for both of us. It’s been known he suffers from high functioning anxiety and depression, and I myself have depression and high functioning anxiety and stress too. So I do understand where this might come from and I am trying to be patient, but I feel like I’m at my wits end and don’t know what to do. I did recommend him to go to therapy and with a lot of reluctant actions and complaints he said he will.

What I am asking is, is this normal? I feel like proper communication is key and talking to each other should take priority. Sometimes he even storms off and I usually don’t mind if we later have this convo again but I always have to bring it up and the cycle continues. What should I do? What is there to do? I am at my wits end and getting more and more unhappy because of this situation. I hope you folks can help!

TL;DR: boyfriend doesn’t wanna communicate when he’s mad and it drives me insane, what can I do?

Submitted September 17, 2019 at 12:01AM

First of all, I love my boyfriend to pieces. But more so than usual, he’s been unable to properly communicate his concerns to me. This just results in him sulking and being dismissive.For example, I asked him if he wanted to join me and my friends for a movie. He said sure, but wondered why I didn’t ask him first and if I would’ve gone if he couldn’t. I was quite confused and just told him that because his schedule is more flexible that I would ask him last and that I was going to invite him regardless. He thought that the way I said it wasn’t indicating that and I just told him that he shouldn’t worry and that I was going to go with him anyways. He then got pissed a bit but avoiding the topic. I then ask: “are you still mad about the movie thing?” He goes: “yeah, but I have to get over it and can you already drop it?!”Im usually the person to just want to talk things out and discuss why we feel a certain way and how we can improve looking forward (perks of being treated by a psychologist). He doesn’t want to do that often, he just wants to remain pissed and be dismissive. This annoys the crap out of me and often things don’t get talked about and eventually resurface anyway. He also likes to pretend stuff didn’t happen and to me just seems toxic for both of us. It’s been known he suffers from high functioning anxiety and depression, and I myself have depression and high functioning anxiety and stress too. So I do understand where this might come from and I am trying to be patient, but I feel like I’m at my wits end and don’t know what to do. I did recommend him to go to therapy and with a lot of reluctant actions and complaints he said he will.What I am asking is, is this normal? I feel like proper communication is key and talking to each other should take priority. Sometimes he even storms off and I usually don’t mind if we later have this convo again but I always have to bring it up and the cycle continues. What should I do? What is there to do? I am at my wits end and getting more and more unhappy because of this situation. I hope you folks can help!TL;DR: boyfriend doesn’t wanna communicate when he’s mad and it drives me insane, what can I do?