I don't really like your attitude there. If you google the full LGBT+, you get LGBTTQQIAAP, with A for both ally and asexual. Not knowing about asexuality is unfortunate, but thinking of ally is not wrong. Also, being ace does not mean you will avoid all sex in any circumstances. Many aces will not be bothered by sex in a TV show. Assuming that feels erasish to me, for example. January 09, 2021 at 12:02AM

But if you're just getting into a relationship with someone and discussing boundaries/sex etc then you're not in love yet anyway. It should be something you talk about within the first few dates, not when you're already in love with them. January 09, 2021 at 12:01AM

Asexuals need a place to be angry about allonormativity. This doesn't have to mean hating on how allosexuals live--but even when that happens, it is not equivalent to what it is a response to: the pressure and dehumanization asexuals face that allosexuals don't, and justified resulting bitterness and negativity towards a privileged group. It's a coping mechanism of many asexuals in the community. Allosexuality does not need anyone's defense, particularly in a minority space. January 09, 2021 at 12:00AM

I've stopped listening to lyrics AGES ago. if I went with songs that I liked for what they say, then my playlist would be like 2% of what I have now lmao I just listen to songs when I like the beat and how they make me feel, lyrics are literally ignored XD January 08, 2021 at 11:59PM

Dream January 08, 2021 at 11:59PM

Almost! Being asexual is exactly one thing: not experiencing sexual attraction. That's it. Please do not add anything additional to the definition, or else you wind up excluding a section of the community (folks like me in this case). (Not mad, just wanna offer a gentle correction.) January 08, 2021 at 11:59PM

Funnily enough there's a lyric from Melanie Martinez's "Notebook" that's a reverse of the "without sex you are just friends" line that are constantly told to romantic aces all the time: "Laying next to just a friend who occasionally fucks me". Sex is happening in this circumstance yet it still feels like just a friendship because there's no emotional connection and the romantic aspect is being neglected. So there are plenty of allos who feel sex isn't enough either. Despite what assholes will try to feed you, a very sexual relationship can feel just as much like a mere friendship to allos and why wouldn't it? Sex doesn't inherently show someone cares. They could just be getting relief and then leaving. No waking up together, no eating breakfast together, no cuddling and talking for hours about whatever. That feels empty. (Can you tell I love her music? XD) This is coming from someone who is sex repulsed and super romantic. L

I love you for writing that, thank you. January 08, 2021 at 11:58PM

NP :) January 08, 2021 at 11:58PM

has that libido led you to be sexually attracted to another person? If no, you are most likely ace. Libido isn't the deciding factor, its if you experience sexual attraction. Sexual identity is a vast spectrum as well, adopt an identity you feel comfortable with, and if that changes over time that's okay too. Hope this helped :) January 08, 2021 at 11:57PM

Definitely not a bad thing, I think it's a great opportunity to help educate and explain different perspectives. It's easy (and understandable) to get upset but I think it's important to have conversations that can help others learn and grow. January 08, 2021 at 11:57PM

but.... cake January 08, 2021 at 11:56PM

Definitely not wrong. I have had multiple relationships (I'm old) with straight guys and it's ended badly every time. Go for honesty and compatibility. January 08, 2021 at 11:54PM

hetace here. i find males more attractive, though they are all fictional and I'll never be able to love them :( January 08, 2021 at 11:54PM

If someone is still deciding if they want to date you or not, they're not supposed to love you at that point. If they're re-evaluating whether they want to date you because you want to make big changes in the relationship, well, love (especially romantic love) is not unconditional. Nobody can be forced to love someone else and shouldn't be blamed for not loving someone else, because it's not even something they can control. January 08, 2021 at 11:53PM

... for outsiders to peek at the community and if they are repulsed by what they see it won't help anyone. Precisely this. We've got to maintain a good reputation if we want to be respected and taken seriously as a group. January 08, 2021 at 11:52PM

Attraction and libido are separate. There are aces with high libidos and allos with low libidos. January 08, 2021 at 11:51PM

I have said it before, come out if you want to and to those you want to. I haven't really told anyone, because what is the point? if friends and family keep asking you why you haven't found someone or try to set you up on dates, well then maybe telling them would work but they may also not accept it, but you could also just get a "Canadian girlfriend". then again if you are looking for someone to have an asexual relationship then telling a couple of real friends may let them help you find someone. but you may have to take a look at all 151 Ace-spec identities on the lgbta wiki, so you know what to say if they ask if you are Heasexual. :P :) January 08, 2021 at 11:49PM

Heck yeah :) January 08, 2021 at 11:48PM

What's the famous green blob? January 08, 2021 at 11:48PM

Yeah, that post made me uncomfortable. Not to mention I feel like it's a problem with general discourse around relationships, that the person breaking up or leaving someone is often seen as inherently bad and the person left is seen as the victim. January 08, 2021 at 11:47PM

Agreed! As a sex-favourable asexual, I often feel invalidated and have questioned my identity a lot due to people telling me that i shouldn’t like sex as an asexual person- January 08, 2021 at 11:47PM

100% okay. It is definitely easier to handle a relationship with someone sexually compatible with you, specially if both have the same view on sex (i.e. sex-negative, -positive, favorable, repulsed and son on) Having a relationship with an allo is possible with good communication and expectations management. But in the end what really matters is if you enjoy being with each other. January 08, 2021 at 11:44PM