That’s awesome, gender is complicated and I’m glad because this is definitely also part of what labels can do! Good for you, really, all the best blessings for your future! I want to hope we can still be helpful for you now and going forward, if you ever need us. <3 June 18, 2021 at 12:04AM

I totally get what you’re saying. That was my dilemma. If a kid wanted to know what my flag meant, I’d feel like a jerk saying “oh it’s adult stuff” or something June 18, 2021 at 12:03AM

Fiscally or socially? June 18, 2021 at 12:03AM

Ahh, that's very understandable. Feelings of being an imposter, of not really belonging, has definitely plagued us all at some point. The way I separate aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction is how involved I want to be. Aesthetic attraction for me looks like gasp I love their makeup/style/confidence/vibe. It doesn't imply anything to do with me at all. But romantic attraction to me is like I want to always see them happy, I would do any number of things to make their life easier/to help them, I want to live with them, I want to tackle life with them by my side. Everyone's definitions are slightly different, but I feel like that's an okay line to see the differences. I've only had 1 crush in my entire life, only 1 romantic relationship, and I fully feel like demiromantic fits me because of my experiences(I was aromantic before that). I do hope this helped~ June 18, 2021 at 12:03AM

I'm just here for the relatable memes. Also not ace, I'm bi, but I just personally think sex is a huge waste of time compared to getting to know people and I have an atrociously low libido. Since its a choice for me I don't "fit in" here either, but its a nice feeling to come here and feel understood, even if my situation is by choice and not birth. The alphabet mafia is great about taking people in who just need to be understood, labels be damned. We know you'll find your place and stand there proudly when you do :) June 18, 2021 at 12:01AM

First of all, oppression is not a competition, and minimizing the struggle of ace people in an allocentric world is dumb. The only thing we have it better (and it is a huge thing) is it is unlikely that we will be beaten in the streets. But that's because in the eyes of society, we are invisible, but saying we do fit in cis-hetero centric society is a lie. Invisibility is not a blessing. Many ace people spend years trying to understand what is wrong with them because they never heard the word asexuality. Personnally, I spend almost 10 years thinking something was broken before hearing the concept of asexuality. This also comes with a total lack of positive representation, or representation at all. The whole society screams at you, you should want to have a partner, a baby and a golden retriever and that is how you will be happy. So even though, cishet people can push us under the rug and call it acceptance, it really isn't. Another point that I find dumb is the idea we don

Hope you do well! June 18, 2021 at 12:00AM

Coming at this from the perspective of an allo person with two asexual parents who didn't understand it until my teens, I don't think there really is a good way to explain asexuality--very specifically the lack of sexual attraction--to young children, mostly because prepubescent children don't understand what sexual attraction is. Even children who will eventually fit the allocishet norm don't "feel allosexual" until just before or during puberty. Perhaps not the best analogy, but it would be a little like trying to explain the concept of blindness to someone born without eyes. June 17, 2021 at 11:57PM

Agreed. Even though I'm ace and in the "have never wanted sex" camp, I'm sex-indifferent and still enjoy sexual content, humor, discussions, etc. I just don't care for having sex because I'm not sexually attracted to anyone. It sucks when people assume we're all repulsed by sex and sexual topics, or that it's somehow an indication of our ace-ness. Sex-favorable aces and ace-spec people are absolutely a part of the community and deserve visibility too. June 17, 2021 at 11:57PM

Also it could be possible that the people who put it up may have been conservatives, but only fiscally. Sorta like myself ig… eh but I’m pretty much dead centre so I can’t really say too much about what conservative’s or liberal’s social views are. June 17, 2021 at 11:54PM

I'm so glad you found yourself, and that your time here I'm our community was safe for you. Sending much love, and good luck on your journey! May you find a boyfriend who is good for you in all ways 💜 June 17, 2021 at 11:53PM

I also struggle with the same thing, but I mostly wanted to comment that I also have genetically large thighs and have been sexualized for it before. It's an awful thing and I'm so sorry that people have to be that way :[ June 17, 2021 at 11:49PM

I thought it was just a school... June 17, 2021 at 11:48PM

I'm surprised that a Conservative workplace would discuss intersectionality like in some of the text. I'm assuming the people who put ig up are not Conservative themselves? Performatively signaling ally-ship is nothing new from them (while not actually helping, or actively eroding out rights). June 17, 2021 at 11:48PM

not for me, as they trigger the same panic of "something in my body that should not be there". I have the same reaction to needles if they are above a certain size too. The mummy movie properly scared me as a kid lol. Seeing those scarabs move underneath their skin and them being eaten alive have really settled as a proper phobia. The pregnacy is just worse since it's an actual living thing, but anything over a certain size makes me want to rip that body part off. even speaking about it makes me nauseous lol And then I was already sex-neutral to begin with, and I have never experienced any pleasure from it. it was just like a chore to keep my bf happy. So I have zero interest in sex, zero attraction - and the fear of pregnacy on top just makes me very happy that I live where I live, and there are no expectation of marriage or children. June 17, 2021 at 11:42PM

It's hard knowing how diverse and nuanced the ace community is, and considering how the average allo doesn't care to listen, it feels near impossible to broaden people's understanding of asexuality. Sex-favorability, sex-positivity, types of attraction, the ace-spec, what asexuality actually means, and the inevitable topic of romantic attraction and the aro-spec is a lot of ground to cover. For allies who want to listen and learn, I'm so grateful. June 17, 2021 at 11:42PM

Firstly, I am sorry to hear of what happened to you. And to answer your question, being ace due to trauma is no less valid then being ace with a lack of such trauma. It is okay. And that is something I'm trying to keep in mind as well. I think I might be somewhere in that sort of boat. I've had bad luck trying to get into a relationship and, unfortunately, went to kind of a dark place for a little bit in my life. And probably because of that, it's pretty rare for me to feel any sort of sexual or romantic attraction to someone. But at the same time, I do like the idea of getting intimate with someone that I love. You are free to explore your feelings further. You sound to me like you might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum. June 17, 2021 at 11:41PM

I’m gonna go with yes absolutely June 17, 2021 at 11:37PM

I found that there's r34 fanfics and art of Bubble Guppies, which is a show made for toddlers. I absolutely hate the internet sometimes June 17, 2021 at 11:36PM

Hey, if the Ace label felt right at the time, then you were one if us 100%. Just because you learned more about yourself and found that it no longer fits you, doesn't invalidate that. Glad you were able to find comfort and acceptance here among us and so happy that you're growing and learning about yourself better!! 🖤 You will always be welcome here. June 17, 2021 at 11:35PM

Yes, haha Not sure what that says about me and my mental state, but yes June 17, 2021 at 11:34PM

IUD might be an option. Or an insert in your arm. Just fyi if you need it. It's permanent for up to 5+ years or until you get it removed. The copper IUD doesn't have hormones. Just be aware, doctors downplay how much it could hurt, so if you feel pain. Scream in their ear until they listen. Otherwise they will ignore you. June 17, 2021 at 11:34PM

Ace expats are still good friends! Im glad you figured it out June 17, 2021 at 11:33PM