/u/Bananalex_95 on Do aces really have it the easiest amongst all the other LGBT groups?

First of all, oppression is not a competition, and minimizing the struggle of ace people in an allocentric world is dumb. The only thing we have it better (and it is a huge thing) is it is unlikely that we will be beaten in the streets. But that's because in the eyes of society, we are invisible, but saying we do fit in cis-hetero centric society is a lie. Invisibility is not a blessing. Many ace people spend years trying to understand what is wrong with them because they never heard the word asexuality. Personnally, I spend almost 10 years thinking something was broken before hearing the concept of asexuality. This also comes with a total lack of positive representation, or representation at all. The whole society screams at you, you should want to have a partner, a baby and a golden retriever and that is how you will be happy. So even though, cishet people can push us under the rug and call it acceptance, it really isn't.

Another point that I find dumb is the idea we don't face any sort of discrimination based on our sexuality. Corrective rape, coercition to have sex, conversion therapies, psychatrisation of our identity (in the DMS-5, there is still a mental disorder that hits very very close to asexuality) are also a thing for aces. And here we can build a bridge with other members of the LGBTQ+ community: there is nothing to cure !

Same with parental rights: in my country, single women and lesbian women do not have access to medical help to get pregnant and sperm donnor. And I don't know for adoption, but basically, because I am ace and aro, my government tells me I am not fitted to be a parent.

To conclude, each group from the LGBTQ+ faces their own specific discriminations and sometimes they overlap and we can build bridges when it is relevant. Asexuals suffers from their invisibility and if we do not face the most violent crimes, it is because the people can just pretend we do not exist or that it is just a phase or whatever bullshit. It is the same as bisexual people, yeah we can blend in, but our goal is not to blend in, it is to be accepted.

June 18, 2021 at 12:00AM