That's my exact current situation. November 24, 2020 at 12:00AM

Yes. Like sex parts are designed to... Function. That way. Mouths are designed to eat and drink That's it. November 24, 2020 at 12:00AM

It's when you're horny. Basically. November 23, 2020 at 11:59PM

I was almost 30 when I realised I was asexual because of my libido. I'm sure I am asexual now, but I sometimes wonder if it wouldn't be easier to just tell people I am bi instead of dealing with assumptions and misunderstandings... November 23, 2020 at 11:59PM

Ugh I have this problem too, and it’s been worse during COVID. My natural state of being is home alone on the couch with a book and woe befall anyone who interrupts me! But I still get lonely, because I’m unfortunately not the island I think I am. The best way I’ve found to branch out and meet people is by joining something. A hiking club, a book discussion group, a gym class, a D&D group, online versions of those things...really anything that grabs your interest. I don’t know your age, but school activities can be great if you’re still in school. I offer this advice with the full knowledge that randomly joining a group of people is terrifying. I hate doing it. But it’s really hard to meet those special people who will become your closest friends (or something more) without meeting people in general. And after the first wave of terror has passed, sometimes you end up just really loving the activity you’ve chosen. November 23, 2020 at 11:57PM

Are gay men missing out on sex with women? November 23, 2020 at 11:56PM

No, a demi is a regular ace 90% of the time. You can't "know" you are demi without having had a bond that triggered attraction. November 23, 2020 at 11:55PM

I consider my self straight oriented aroace November 23, 2020 at 11:53PM

Even if you're not sex repulsed or anything eating is waaay better anyway. November 23, 2020 at 11:49PM

I reckon it's always worth giving a go, if you're looking for love. Nothing ventured, nothing gained! I personally got annoyed at AceApp, I got spammed by American men who were most likely bots and trolls than suitors, but there were some nice folks on there I had good conversations with. November 23, 2020 at 11:47PM

2D > 3D November 23, 2020 at 11:45PM

It can be hard to convince ourselves that we’re worth it when we’ve had hurtful and damaging experiences, and when there are so many others suffering too. But like you said, those services are there to help, and it sounds like you could really use the support. And it’s true I don’t know you, but you’re a person with feelings and worries and you want to be happy and that makes you 100% worth it every time. November 23, 2020 at 11:45PM

Most of the time I start finding actors or characters 'attractive' after I've formed a parasocial bond with them, gotten invested in them. For actors specifically I often only like the particular style of a character they've played, for example I think Tom Hiddleston was gorgeous as Loki but I can't really tell if he's attractive or not in an interview dressed as a regular person. What's interesting is that I sometimes develop a fascination for an aspect of a character that I hate on real people , for example I had a phase when I used to collect fanart of Sephiroth with heavy emphasis on his muscles, even though I usually find defined muscles on men repulsive. I'm also doing that thing where I'm looking at him through another character's eyes who does find him attractive in the usual sense, and that makes me feel some secondhand attraction if that makes sense? But I still categorise it under aesthetic, though maybe it's different. Nov

Your time will come child November 23, 2020 at 11:40PM

I'm so happy for you!! I strive to have this one day 😭 November 23, 2020 at 11:35PM

Lol it got me too after, thanks for pointing it out November 23, 2020 at 11:35PM

What? I feel like you got confused somewhere along the line; not feeling sexual attraction is literally The One Thing. Do you mean we can still have a libido, or that we can still enjoy sex as an activity? November 23, 2020 at 11:34PM

YES I'm always happy to hear that there are other people who don't get anything out of kissing. Romantic, sexual, or otherwise. It's more repulsive to me than sex!! November 23, 2020 at 11:31PM

Alastor (AKA The Radio Demon) from Hazbin Hotel November 23, 2020 at 11:29PM

I'm aroace but I definitely have a preference for guys. I just never really had such a strong friendship with girls November 23, 2020 at 11:28PM

Yes, that's right, but a lot of straight guys have sex with random girls at nightclubs (and vice versa) and sometimes they're not even attracted to her but they want to have sex so badly that they go for it. Maybe that's a more suitable comparison that they would understand or relate to. I've heard a lot of people say "I don't even like him/her but he/she went in for a kiss and it ended up in sex" so sex without attraction should not be as uncommon to allosexuals as it is to us. November 23, 2020 at 11:28PM

I’m also a (non-sex-repulsed) ace married to an allo, and it can be an interesting negotiation! I agree with a previous poster about initiating. You might not think to initiate sex in the natural course of things, but think of initiating as something special you can do for her to make her feel loved and wanted. I don’t claim to know either your personal preferences, but an intimate (read: sexy) gift might also fit the bill. It sounds like she heard the “I don’t need sex to be happy” fact loud and clear, so now maybe you can stress how much you enjoy it when it happens. Unless it becomes an issue, you probably don’t need to remind her any more that you don’t need it. It can be hard because we want to be honest and share all of our thoughts and feelings with the person we feel closest to, but when an ace and an allo are negotiating sexual terrain, it’s a lot like speaking a two different languages. It has helped with my partner to frame it as a communication issue rather than an intima

me November 23, 2020 at 11:24PM