I’ve had a few different sexual partners - two before I realized I was ace, and one after. The first one forced me into sex all the time and I never found it to be enjoyable, but I chalked that up to not wanting it in the first place. I would definitely say sex with that partner felt similar to what you described. My second sexual partner never forced me into sex, but it was still not a super enjoyable thing for me overall. I participated because I cared about him deeply and knew it was just as much (if not more so) about the emotional connection as the physical aspect for him. I enjoyed the emotional aspect and I enjoyed knowing that participating in this physical act made him feel closer to me emotionally, but the physical sensations were seriously lacking. I just could not understand the appeal of sex. At. All. My third and current sexual partner is also ace and, going into the relationship, neither of us expected to ever have sex with each other. But we ended up down that path ...

Completely true September 23, 2019 at 12:19AM

I bet you need to forgive yourself. September 23, 2019 at 12:19AM

There you go. I used to feel kind of responsible for my mother's death. It took a while, and with counseling I finally got past it. There were things beyond my control. But, I needed to forgive myself. September 23, 2019 at 12:17AM

I agree, my husband disagrees. I am ace, he isnt. Lol so there is the difference. September 23, 2019 at 12:15AM

So, I generally don't but I'm curious how other people handle that. My thinking is this: if I already had sex with her, then holding hands or making out at the movies feels comfortable. If it's a first date, I'm not down. For a "first move" I usually have a girl at mine or her place, private..and we already both know we're going to have sex. I also don't do public displays of affection...usually, but I can be very cuddly when we're alone. Movie theatre is dark and inconspicuous for the most part so if I'm already being intimate with a lady, I usually slide the armrest away so we can share our two seats as a bench...then we often snuggle up a bit while watching the film. How do you feel about making moves on a first date in a movie theatre? Also, does it matter if the movie is violent and not very romantic? I imagine men and women might commonly have some different takes on this. Go Submitted September 22, 2019 at 11:31PM So, I general...

Wow, that sounds awful. I'm glad you got out September 23, 2019 at 12:14AM

Ugh I hate that. Virgin shaming and slut shaming can both go fuck right off. Why does anyone even care about other people's sex lives or lack thereof so long as, if they are having sex, it's consensual? September 23, 2019 at 12:13AM

I guess he's a YouTuber and it's sarcastic but I love it so much. They've got all the stuff at Zumiez and there's even a shirt that says practice safe sex, but obviously the virginity rocks is my favorite September 23, 2019 at 12:12AM

Yup! Actually, since posting this I've kinda realized that most of my issues surrounding sex are due to having been sexually assaulted a couple of years ago when I was first becoming sexually active. So I guess if I wanna ever enjoy sex I'm just gonna have to work through some shit. September 23, 2019 at 12:11AM

Do you have a therapist? September 23, 2019 at 12:07AM

That has nothing to do with aphobia, that's just being uninformed. September 23, 2019 at 12:07AM

Read this as ‘Dungeon mastering a friend’. September 23, 2019 at 12:05AM

Omg what is this from is this a thing. I saw people wearing these and thought they were like in a Christian youth group. September 23, 2019 at 12:03AM

They have the best internets September 23, 2019 at 12:02AM

Hi! I'm going on a date with a girl soon, ive never been on a date in my entire life or with a girl and i'm high key panicking. any tips on how to make this date good? we already planned seeing a movie but we're meeting up at 3 and it starts at 8 so i'll have like...5 hours to kill. also what are things that are like not acceptable on a first date? i really like this girl and i dont want to screw this whole thing up. [ p.s i am also a girl ] Submitted September 22, 2019 at 11:30PM Hi! I'm going on a date with a girl soon, ive never been on a date in my entire life or with a girl and i'm high key panicking. any tips on how to make this date good? we already planned seeing a movie but we're meeting up at 3 and it starts at 8 so i'll have like...5 hours to kill. also what are things that are like not acceptable on a first date? i really like this girl and i dont want to screw this whole thing up.[ p.s i am also a girl ]

Our friends set us up together, we met for few times, things were going great, she asked me to pick up some stuff from her parents when I went back home. I met her mom and dad and thought everything was fine. She seemed shy at times, but I think things were going okay. She suddenly acted distant, I called her and she didn't pickup, two weeks later she called me back, saying she wanted to ask about me, and that she was busy and couldn't return the call earlier. Next day I asked her out and she said sure, I'll check my schedule and let you know, that was six months ago, she never did. Now our friends are getting married and I'll meet her at the wedding, what should I do? I know it's over by now, but she told me before she is very shy and she looked hesitant, idk, I got hurt so much when she ghosted me, I was at lease expecting she would say I'm not interested or something, I have no idea why she called me back after two weeks, I thought it was already over... ...

Okay so I jumped back in the online dating world and it goes like this: I’ve been messaging some guys and we’ve had okay chit chat. Getting to know one’s hobbies and interests, work, basic stuff. I haven’t been flirting or feeling more attraction to them after getting to know them after a while. I just feel kinda meh, but I keep responding because I don’t know how to cut them off and move on. And maybe something interesting will come up. Usually not... Well of course this will eventually make them think I’m interested in them and perhaps would want a date. So the question pops up. I’ve been on many dates that result from conversations like these and usually the date is the last time we talk. And then one is ghosted or things fizzle out. I just don’t want to waste my time or the time of someone else if I’m just not that into them. And I’ve been on both sides of ghosting and I hate it and would make it the last resort. What do, Reddit? What do? Submitted September 22, 2019 at 11:...

I'm not delusional I know that my anime figure collection [23/M] is probably hurting me. I wont to know how big of a deal breaker is it for you if you found out they like anime. Where is the limit for how far you would be okay with them going? Submitted September 22, 2019 at 11:37PM I'm not delusional I know that my anime figure collection [23/M] is probably hurting me. I wont to know how big of a deal breaker is it for you if you found out they like anime. Where is the limit for how far you would be okay with them going?

That's why I'm a young adult who's never had one. I've dealt with depression and anxiety for the majority of my life. I've made tremendous progress, but my personality has always been bland because of it. I cant see myself ever in a position dating any woman. Not to mention I'm also unattractive and obese (according to medical terms). Why would any woman ever be interested in me? It's sad being alone! Submitted September 22, 2019 at 11:53PM That's why I'm a young adult who's never had one. I've dealt with depression and anxiety for the majority of my life. I've made tremendous progress, but my personality has always been bland because of it. I cant see myself ever in a position dating any woman. Not to mention I'm also unattractive and obese (according to medical terms). Why would any woman ever be interested in me? It's sad being alone!

I have this shitty habit of putting girls on pedestals and I have been quite good about not doing that with this one. So we are going out this weekend (I told her we are hanging out) and I am 50/50 whether I like her or not. I think I need to hang with her to see if I am into her as we never chilled alone before (I know her for 10 years lol). I did not really think of dating her until my friends put this idea into my head that she is my BAE. My questions: What's a good hangout activity besides going for dinner then walking on the beach (that is what I planned)? How do I gauge if she's good for me? I need some pointers to keep me grounded. If I feel I like her on the spot, should I tell her right there and then I like her? TL;DR 21M likes 22F and is hanging out with her. Looks for general dating advice. Submitted September 23, 2019 at 12:03AM I have this shitty habit of putting girls on pedestals and I have been quite good about not doing that with this one....

Oh man. Just got off FT with my gf (f20) of 5 months. She has been studying abroad for a month and I'm not visiting until Nov. Things felt a little weird this weekend over text and I had a gut feeling something was off. On the phone, she tells me how there are a lot of pretty girls...knowing that she has always been interested and has had sex with girls in the past I knew what she was about to say. She tells me that she's struggling with not being paid attention to physically and presents the idea of an open relationship. I then asked her if anything has happened yet and she says that she held her hand the other night. She said that it'd be fair for me to also be with other people but I told her that I have no desire to. I'm really hurt by this whole thing because I thought what we had was strong enough to get us through this but now I'm just bummed. If I don't agree to an open relationship she's going to be not satisfied on her end but if I do agree to i...

So I (22F) have had a crush/thing for my coworker (26M) for a while. I’m pretty damn sure he doesn’t see me as anything more than a work friend, which is a bummer, but I respect that. The problem is, the closer we become as friends, the more I like him, and it’s not like o can avoid him, because we’re constantly getting scheduled to work together. Any tips for getting over this? Submitted September 23, 2019 at 12:09AM So I (22F) have had a crush/thing for my coworker (26M) for a while. I’m pretty damn sure he doesn’t see me as anything more than a work friend, which is a bummer, but I respect that. The problem is, the closer we become as friends, the more I like him, and it’s not like o can avoid him, because we’re constantly getting scheduled to work together. Any tips for getting over this?