Realised this was a bit long after writing this, so skip to the TL;DR if you want. Recommend reading the whole thing to get the full context though. So I met this girl back in February, went on a date and the chemistry was amazing between us. Even texting together was super fun. Then ya boi Corona hit and she had to go back to her home country. After a couple months of texting she said that, even though she felt a click between us too, cause of the whole pandemic situ it would be better if we chatted again when she came back to the UK in September. So September comes round and she messages me saying she's back. We end up going on 3 dates which go really well, except I feel the last one. She comes round for a drink and to play some Switch. End up playing truth or drink until like 1AM which meant we found out a lot more about each other and I was kind of falling for this girl which doesn't often happen when I meet someone new. End up kissing on the sofa and she sleeps round, b...

Hi, could use a script or opinions on what to say. I’ve been on a couple of dates with a guy who is quite shy. He tried to kiss me the first time but it didn’t work out (it was right at the end and I was going in for a hug) but we texted about that and we’re fine, communication is great. He said he never knows how to handle these things and I said I don’t enjoy it right at the end and that I like to wait a bit for a kiss usually (I said it in a nice way). Thought we may kiss today. I did some things that I think showed interest but he did say he can not pick up on things sometimes so he appreciates directness. Anyway! Date is over and I’m back home now. I’ll text him that I got home safe but I’d like to say something a bit cheeky to indicate either that next time I’d want to kiss him or that I would have liked to/been open to it today. What would work best to tell him? A flirty but effective little text EDIT: I’m asking for text ideas because I can be shy too with kissing especial...

I’m my own worst enemy and can’t get out of my own head....thankfully I have this sub so I can ask all my crazy shit without actually doing it. I went on a date recently. We’re 30. And despite all signs pointing to her liking me. I think I missed a que to kiss her at the end of the first date. So now I’m wondering if it’s better to feel it out, or just ask how she feels about me. Like I said...I’m my own worst enemy. Submitted November 05, 2020 at 12:08AM I’m my own worst enemy and can’t get out of my own head....thankfully I have this sub so I can ask all my crazy shit without actually doing it.I went on a date recently. We’re 30. And despite all signs pointing to her liking me. I think I missed a que to kiss her at the end of the first date.So now I’m wondering if it’s better to feel it out, or just ask how she feels about me.Like I said...I’m my own worst enemy.

I 26f am very thin/ somewhat underweight I guess. I’ve always been this way & I am over being insecure about it but I am always annoyed when MEN or ppl I’m not close with comment on my size a lot. I find that most people do not. This guy I went on a first date with kept saying you’re so little/tiny or we were talking about different foods I like some of them unhealthy and he was saying I don’t look like I eat that. He didn’t really comment on my appearance otherwise and I’m just wondering if it’s a red flag. I can’t tell if he doesn’t like that I’m smaller or if he does or why it should matter really at all. Other than that he was polite laid back and we got along well. He did ask me out again however I’m going to be annoyed if he brings it up again. Do you think this is a bad sign and how would you deal w this? Submitted November 05, 2020 at 12:20AM I 26f am very thin/ somewhat underweight I guess. I’ve always been this way & I am over being insecure about it but I a...

Wait H.P. Lovecraft was ace!? November 05, 2020 at 12:07AM

Hard same. Maybe it's my default Reddit sort, but I don't see the content referenced or really find the sub as helpful as I thought it'd be as it seems really sex-neutral/sex-favorable heavy and wanting to limit the "not as nice" aspects of asexuality (like loneliness or not fitting in or feeling happy with one's identity). I too feel like it's very "not all aces!" heavy and kinda wanting to not have sex-repulsed aces talk about their feelings, so I don't utilize it as a supportive forum since it doesn't really have that vibe for me. As an almost-mid 30s sex-repulsed asexual female whose never been in a relationship, I feel even weirder having come here than before I did. November 05, 2020 at 12:06AM

Don't stress yourself out buddy, it takes some time to really get to absolutely not care, and it's not easy, but you gotta have some confindence and think you can do it, and start trusting yourself more than others, I trust you will get there :) November 04, 2020 at 11:57PM

They deserve a follow, hold on November 04, 2020 at 11:53PM

You sound demisexual Demisexuality is when you experience sexual attraction after you've developed a deep emotional connection to them, which sounds like what you said. But obviously, only you can decide what label suits you best :) Also, being willing to have sex in order to please your partner is a totally valid thing for aces, so you can feel like that and still totally be ace or demi Another term you may want to look into is greysexuality, if you don't think demisexuality suits you November 04, 2020 at 11:52PM

I get what you're saying but I honestly think 2020 is the best time in history to be ace, at least your family can't marry you off or institutionalise you for refusing to get married Definitely give yourself a break, listen to some music that doesn't go on about sex (parody music is good for this), read a book or play a game that doesn't focus on sex but try to have some perspective November 04, 2020 at 11:50PM

I didn't think I'd get nearly as many comment on here as I have done. Its been incredubly insightful for you who have commented so thank you! I think I would like the character to be new to relationships and discover their asexuality and figure out what it is to them. But I have taken on board everything here and some really good pointers. Thank you all again! I don't think I will finish anything remotely soon, but who knows, maybe in a year or so Ill post here again to let you know that I did it - With some proof reading being done by some ace individuals, of course :D November 04, 2020 at 11:48PM

who is sangled? November 04, 2020 at 11:48PM

It’s okay you will get through this 🤗 November 04, 2020 at 11:46PM

How did u add those flags...I’m pan romantic and ace,I would love to know lol November 04, 2020 at 11:40PM

This would be awesome. I’m actually doing the same thing! As others have said, avoiding cliches would be nice. Idk what genre or w/e bUT please also don’t do the overused “asexuals can’t have partners/romantic attraction.” Also, may be controversial, but avoiding using common ace stereotypes as the main thing a character likes - AKA having their fave colour(s) be the colour(s) of the ace flag OR making their fave food garlic bread and/or cake. The black ring on the middle finger would be neat, but I worry if you play into the stereotypes too much it’ll warp into something others may use to mock us/our sexuality November 04, 2020 at 11:40PM

this post alone has been more educational than public school November 04, 2020 at 11:38PM

I’m an author and one of the characters in a book I’m writing is non-binary but I’m not...I think it is totally fine November 04, 2020 at 11:35PM

Yeah I thought she was bisexual November 04, 2020 at 11:34PM

Awesome! Coming out is hard but ya did it! :D November 04, 2020 at 11:33PM

Exercise November 04, 2020 at 11:31PM

I just don't let others push their ideas on me, this is how I personally work, I don't need an excuse, and I will not change because others want to pressure me into what their believe is the normal thing to do. I wish my brain worked like that. I wish it was impossible for me to care too much about what others think of me. November 04, 2020 at 11:30PM

It's such a weird feeling to wake up from such an emotional feeling dream to realize none of it was real. And how we are capable of feeling these things in our dream and I remember the feelings and sensations, it just hasn't happened for a long time in real life. November 04, 2020 at 11:22PM

Yay, that is good news I'm happy for you. I hope it all works out! November 04, 2020 at 11:21PM