Hey, I broke up with my girlfriend recently and for the first time, started to use Tinder. It went really well, out of all the matches, I finally found someone who I also like qua appearance, not only that, her and me have a lot in common! When I landed on her I was like "WOW, I beg you, please, don't mess this up [my name]." Anyway, I initiated the first message and she responded how I would have expected.We've been talking but there are some things that make me doubt myself and I'm constantly overthinking. It's REALLY annoying. She replies, but sometimes it takes many minutes to hours for her to reply. She does reply in full, like long paragraphs (equal to my messages in size). But not always. Sometimes the answer is just "hahaha nicee" She never asks me anything, in fact she has only asked me one thing since we started. Which was how I was doing, lol. I asked her if I could get her Insta or any other social media so we could continue to ta...

I can't see myself ever getting married, and if I do it'll probably be for the benefits it confers as a legal status. Otherwise, I have no strong thoughts on marriage. It's not for everyone; if you want to do it, you should, if not, no worries. March 26, 2021 at 12:03AM

Yeah, I know what you mean. The memes and jokes and constant references to garlic bread and cake and all that get stale pretty quickly. I'm more interested in talking to other ace people, especially guys, around my age, people who I can relate to, and go over the issues of being ace, or even just talk about our experiences. As a teenager, being ace as a teenager and being ace as an adult are two very different things in my experiences. You trade one set of issues for another, and while some things stay the same, in many ways they don't. I'd love to talk about that, but it's hard to find a place for good discussion. I think I've gone past the point of finding out who I am and what that means and entering the point in life where I'm working with it. I'll always be happy to talk to you if you wanna chat with another adult. March 25, 2021 at 11:57PM

I feel that second one. I know I’ve been annoyed by other ace people going “Oh these poor allos, having sex and being horny, it must be so bad. I’m glad I’m not like that!” It strikes me as super immature that you’re judging people by the fact that they have sex Ace people have sex too believe it or not I know I’ve unfollowed people on social media over it cause it’s just so bad. So yeah, the ace community can be a little cringeworthy at times. But then again, I think any group that’s large enough will have some degree of cringe. March 25, 2021 at 11:55PM

From a Reddit post. Looked into it and boom turns out I’m ace. March 25, 2021 at 11:53PM

Oh sweetheart, I wish I could wrap you in my arms and tell you that you are a good person. You're not cruel. You don't want to hurt people, and you don't know how to go about ending something without doing that. That, my sweet, is kindness. You're conflicted, and because you don't understand their feelings you're trying even harder to protect them. I've been bored of my relationships before and didn't want to end it because I know that some of them had genuine feelings for me. Feelings I couldn't understand, and I didn't want to. I used intentionally sabotage relationships because I was bored of them and wanted it to end without being the one to end it. Which was actually very dickish of me. So trust me, you are better than me in that regard. You want to protect their feelings, I want to slowly kill them until they end it. Now I also crave companionship, romantic or otherwise, and I now struggle with being emotionally distant. I want that conn...

Ahh thank you March 25, 2021 at 11:49PM

Same. March 25, 2021 at 11:46PM

Cool. March 25, 2021 at 11:46PM

I've tried and failed to get into ace spaces myself. I've struggled with accepting my identity for many years and honestly my...complicated and depressed thoughts towards asexuality doesn't vibe with the garlic bread and cake chat. I just don't think I belong anywhere and generally I find ace people that are proud of who they are and don't really get why I feel bad about myself. It's great that people have fun and are happy, I am just unfortunately not one of them and it's a very lonely feeling. March 25, 2021 at 11:35PM

Me too I am asexual too March 25, 2021 at 11:35PM

we can never be to careful more learn of our existence every day March 25, 2021 at 11:26PM

Being asexual while having libido and aesthetic attraction can be VERY confusing at times. Like "I find people beautiful and masturbate so I can't be ace right? " Is what kept me from realizing I was ace even sooner. March 25, 2021 at 11:18PM

Thank you March 25, 2021 at 11:17PM

This Harry Potter character is definitely demisexual. He has two relationships: Cho and Ginny. Cho works because of a shared suffering about Cedric's death, and he's not really in it, anyway. Ginny... well, do I have to explain this? Long term friend, sister of his best friend, basically his sister, but removed enough so it's fine. And the whole "Hermione... you're a girl" thing from before the ball in 4? Definitely ace vibes. I mean, imagine you're in a school with magic and you're the one with all the burden. How does a straight male in puberty not have relationships here? Answer: He's not straight - he's ace (demi, if you want to be precise). A lot of stories have this concept they want to be the ideal relationship; this concept of waiting for the right person and being committed, and it leads to the characters not having meaningless relationships along the way - which really is just culminating in demi behaviour in the end. Unless the ...

> I hate that most people in these communities act as if being ace is like... The only thing in their life. I think the main problem is that the people who have other things in their life...are busy off doing those other things instead of posting on ace communities. So the people whoa re at the stage of being really into talking about asexuality 20 times a day drown out the folks who maybe want to pop in once a month or so. March 25, 2021 at 11:15PM

I wouldn’t imagine myself being married cus there’s the expectation of sex there, and that’s like not enjoyable work. March 25, 2021 at 11:14PM

Bold of you to assume the allos know we exist! March 25, 2021 at 11:12PM

The Sacred Tome!! March 25, 2021 at 11:12PM

Ace people can still get married and have sex. March 25, 2021 at 11:11PM

You can make a custom case on the PopSockets website! March 25, 2021 at 11:11PM

This may not be an option for you, depending on where you live, but if there are any near you I would recommend looking for any geography-based ace groups that might be near you, and then seeing if they have any online presence. As I've gotten older and more secure in my ace identity, I've spent a lot more time in my local group's chat (as opposed to other larger online communities) because it seems a bit more grounded and seems like it has a wider range of ages and interests. It's also easier to have more serious discussions in smaller groups where you have a chance to actually get to know each other - many other online ace spaces are just way too big and too busy for that. As for whether ace spaces are kinda cringe....sure, they are sometimes, but tbh not more than any other big online community with a lot of young people. So I think that's less a symptoms of an ace thing and more a sign that I'm just become older and less hip with whatever is popular with t...

Cool. My mom is ace too March 25, 2021 at 11:09PM