/u/sennkestra on Does anyone else find that a lot of online ace spaces are a little... cringe?

This may not be an option for you, depending on where you live, but if there are any near you I would recommend looking for any geography-based ace groups that might be near you, and then seeing if they have any online presence. As I've gotten older and more secure in my ace identity, I've spent a lot more time in my local group's chat (as opposed to other larger online communities) because it seems a bit more grounded and seems like it has a wider range of ages and interests. It's also easier to have more serious discussions in smaller groups where you have a chance to actually get to know each other - many other online ace spaces are just way too big and too busy for that.

As for whether ace spaces are kinda cringe....sure, they are sometimes, but tbh not more than any other big online community with a lot of young people. So I think that's less a symptoms of an ace thing and more a sign that I'm just become older and less hip with whatever is popular with the young folks these days, hah.

There's also a common cycle where new, questioning young ace folks come into the big public communities, get really excited and active for a while, but then eventually drift off after settling into their identity and making more personal, private connections with people or groups that they talk to directly instead of using the big platforms like aven or reddit. This means that the big public sites are heavily weighted to enthusiastic newbies.

I would also note that discord especially is a platform that's most popular with really young crowds, though, so if you are looking for more mature groups that may be part of the problem.
(There is/was actually a pretty good adult-focused ace group on pillowfort.social that I was really enjoying, but pillowfort had their servers explode recently and we have no idea when/if they'll be back so....maybe that could be something to check back in on in a few months).

March 25, 2021 at 11:10PM