It was a quiz exactly the same to this, what I’m saying is that they aren’t always accurate. June 30, 2023 at 11:21PM

What would a partner want from you? I do hear that apps have filters biult in to increase contact on new accounts. I don't know how true it is for all apps, but it'd be weird if they didn't do it frankly. so maybe not a you issue in that respect! June 29, 2023 at 11:15PM

This is just so beautiful! June 29, 2023 at 11:15PM

Religious types often speak out against asexuality. Just look at the flack that Jaiden Animations got (and still gets) just for making a video about being aroace. They were particular incensed because children watch her animations. Accused her of "grooming," even. Let me emphasize this: they called her a "groomer" because kids might watch her animation...about NOT wanting sex or romance. "Brat" Walsh frequently disses asexuals in his video rants. Long story short: religious types know about us already, and they don't like us. They consider us a threat to their way of life by existing, just like they consider all other types of LGBTQIA+ folk. June 28, 2023 at 11:07PM

I’m 20M and I’ve never been In a relationship so ideally I’d like to find someone within the next couple years or so Everyone I’ve even been with were either one night stands, casual relationships for a couple weeks or the odd tinder hookup. Ive sorta considered a relationship with a couple of these but after further reflection non of them were even close to relationship material and in fact I feel like a bit of an idiot for not picking up on the red flags sooner for those ones. On a fair few occasions they’ve even had a boyfriend which just makes me even more cautious of relationships. I’m a good looking dude and also 6’5 and jacked which you’d think would help but it seems that I’m only able to attract the wrong type of girls. I’ve got tinder and get more than enough matches but the only ones who are eager to meet up are half naked in all their photos and I’m not really willing to message someone for weeks on end just to get a date or play the long game. Admittedly i don’t have m

If you are not attracted to men, calling yourself asexual (or aromantic, not feeling romantic attraction) makes a lot more sense yourself straight. The "you just haven't met the right person yet" phrase is a pretty common microaggression against asexual and aromantic people. Most straight people don't feel attracted to just one person ever*. You can read more about this here: https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/faq/what-if-i-just-havent-met-the-right-person-yet.html *demisexual/demiromantic or greysexual/greyromantic are cool terms to look into if you want to learn more about the experiences of people who actually only feel attraction to a very small number of people. Both of those are on the asexual/aromantic spectrums, respectively. June 26, 2023 at 11:27PM

Thank you! But I don't dare, I would be way too sad if I bought it but couldn't use it due to my eczema breaking out from the material T-T June 26, 2023 at 11:24PM

As a Spankophile (Spanko,) I find a large swath of dyed in the wool Spankos possibly even the majority to be effectively asexual outside of the singular act of spanking, and surrounding kinks, to the point where I assume most Spankos, Spankers and spankees are to at least some degree on the asexual spectrum. Many like myself are romantically and asthetically inclined, just not sexually. June 25, 2023 at 11:14PM

I’m a virgin to both, and I’ve survived 25.5 years June 25, 2023 at 11:07PM

Thank you for your detailed reply, I am sexually attracted to them but it’s more the act of sex I am put off by. I will look at someone and be sexually attracted but not want to have sex June 24, 2023 at 10:42PM

Hey, I'm also 25f and new to accepting this identity myself so may not be the best at giving advice. You said "never ever want to have sex , even if I am completely attracted to the person". I think what's key is, is that an aesthetic attraction or a sexual one? I've had to do a fair bit of reading to get an idea of what allos experience sexual attraction to be. Even then, from this Reddit I've seen some people describe feeling sexual attraction but not being interested in sex with another person, I believe it falls on the asexual spectrum. Certainly I can relate to many of the thoughts and experiences you've had June 24, 2023 at 10:40PM

Took it from a recent post but made it for the opposite gender. Submitted June 24, 2023 at 12:15AM Took it from a recent post but made it for the opposite gender.

You cannot control the fanfic machine. You can only choose not to read it. Or make your own in a "guess it's up to me" way. June 22, 2023 at 11:41PM

If i had a nickel for everytime i agreed to hangout with someone one on one because i was so stoked about having a new friend and they just wanted sex.... Id have enough cake and bread to feed the ace community. June 22, 2023 at 11:37PM

Tell ur parents, dsnt matter what age u r, they made that monster so they gotta deal w it June 22, 2023 at 11:34PM

Thanks for the feedback. I just wanted some perspective. June 21, 2023 at 10:56PM

Explain how you are not gay. June 20, 2023 at 11:18PM

Do you have attractions? Daydreaming can be with or without attractions or desire. It kinda blurs when it's just thoughts rhanks to OCD and aegosexuality. Sounds like you're sex-repulsed at least for labeling it. June 19, 2023 at 11:30PM

I watched this video earlier which whilst isn't directly focused on aphobia, does go into some details on why/how aphobia can manifest. It's basically down to people linking sexuality as a uniquely human experience - so people who don't feel a sexual attraction may be viewed as robotic or alien. It basically others asexual people, as they don't participate in something that is seen as intrinsically human June 18, 2023 at 10:59PM

People usually ship the (presumably straight) male characters together because they aren’t putting actual gay non-PR relationships in it. Also if people are shipping m/m PR, then that means that there is a m/m PR relationship in it, which is what you want, right? June 17, 2023 at 11:14PM

LMFAO June 16, 2023 at 11:17PM

I am so sorry to hear that you feel broken. First of all, I think there is no "normal" amount of sex to want or need. That is always up to the individual couple to determine and to compromise. Secondly, does your partner know how you are feeling and what you are thinking about? Have they expressed to you that they are hurt? If so, what did they say what exactly hurts them? Thirdly, it is completely okay to not know what or who you are just yet. We have all been there and I am still at the point of questioning myself every once in a while. That is part of my life I would say. Just because your experiences dont align with "typical ace experiences" doesnt have to mean that you cannot be ace. Asexuality is a spectrum and there are so many different ace experiences. And saying that you dont like sex very often and find it boring or see it as a chore sometimes, is something that a lot of aces can relate to in one way or another. So even if in the end you find out that

asexuality as an umbrella term means "little to no sexual attraction". there's demi, grey, aego, caed (cad?), and all other ... subs ... of sexual attraction under that umbrella. asexual itself is the "no sexual attraction" part of that umbrella. but just to throw some more complications into it; attraction isn't the same as action! someone can be just asexual or any of the identities under the umbrella and still have sex. some folk may confuse this action for attraction, but bumping uglies doesn't un-ace someone anymore than not bumping uglies un-allos others. June 15, 2023 at 10:48PM

In short, asexuality is a spectrum, generally defined by "experiencing little to no sexual attraction". The "little" can vary greatly by person. And aces with no sexual attraction can still have sex. All of these things (attraction, libido, and the act of sex itself) can be completely separate, depending on the individual's experience. I suggest looking at the sidebar for a lot of helpful links, or just search for what others have said. These questions come up all the time. 😆 June 15, 2023 at 10:46PM

Ace! As in cool! June 14, 2023 at 11:09PM

what if your current partner came out as aromantic and didn't want to have a romantic relationship with you anymore but wants to be friends, would you feel comfortable making them your best friend and not having any romantic relationship with them I've just been called out. This was my exact experience with a past partner. It truly feels terrible that you can do nothing about it but move on June 14, 2023 at 11:07PM

Yes, if you are afab it is beneficial to prevent cervical cancer brought on by HPV infections. Also regardless of gender, if you possess such anything, not all sexual contact is voluntary. Best to be safe. June 13, 2023 at 11:24PM

I am autistic and have trauma around physical contact so I hate being touched. I have a list of people who I let touch me and that’s it. I used to be a really physically affectionate person but I can’t stand contact now so I’m just touch starved. But even when I wasn’t traumatized I still hated being touched without warning and I only let certain people. June 12, 2023 at 11:45PM

Vibes June 12, 2023 at 11:45PM

Yeah I figured, also my hobbies tend to be very female oriented which would make that a bit difficult June 12, 2023 at 11:44PM

I (24F) matched with a guy (34-36M: don’t want to give out his exact age) (for the purpose of this post we’ll call him Chris) on Bumble on February 17th; remember the exact day because it was my friends birthday. The day we matched I was in NJ (I live on Long Island, Chris lives in one of the NYC boroughs). So I probably wouldn’t have ever matched with him if I wasn’t in NJ or NYC since we live 2 ish hours apart. We had really good conversation on Bumble, and the same day we matched he talked to me the whole 2 hour trip home from NJ. He even said how his birthday was the following week, and that “God sent this Long Island girl to him for his birthday.” After that conversation we continued texting and calling each other. We made plans to meet but he canceled 2 hours before because he had a tough day at work. We continued talking but didn’t make plans because he was moving apartments. I eventually let the conversation fizzle out because I felt that I was putting in too much effort. Even

Do you get attracted only after bonding with someone? You could say you're a sex averse demisexual in that case. If you don't need a bond to be attracted, you could say sex averse greysexual. Or you could just say you're aegosexual or just an ace. Honestly whatever feels most comfortable for you. Unless you have a reaction of disgust or extreme discomfort about sex, averse is the label for aces like you who just aren't sex favorable. Repulsed doesn't mean the same thing. Edit: also as for asking if it's normal or not, that question won't really get you anywhere. Asexuality has so much variation, and something being rare just comes with the territory. I am a demisexual who's not sure yet if they actually want to have sex bc my attraction is so rare that I have trouble adjusting to it when it happens. I'm also sex repulsed otherwise, but am only repulsed by sex if someone gets sexual towards me or hits on me. I haven’t met another ace quite like me

Certainly! I wouldn't want to be anything else. June 09, 2023 at 11:10PM

Generally I’m not, either, but have you read the book? This robot is a very fleshed out and complex character. Oh what books/authors have asexual representation?!! I haven’t heard of any and would love to know! :) June 08, 2023 at 11:19PM

Absolutely. It can never hurt to use both! June 07, 2023 at 11:10PM

Are you crazy ? I'm a human June 07, 2023 at 11:07PM

Break a leg, mate. June 06, 2023 at 11:22PM

Same here! I do feel and I am straight. I'm just not interested in sex at all. It's that simple. June 06, 2023 at 11:17PM

I like head pats, nose boops, and headbutting anything I love. I think I learned how to love from my cat. June 06, 2023 at 01:14AM

Met a girl on hinge. Talked for a while. Got along well, texted for a week pretty much every day. Asked her on a date. Had a first date - drinks and dessert. Went great really vibed and ended up spending like 2.5 hours together (really expected maybe an hour or so long originally). She messaged me on hinge within minutes of the date ending (I was driving home) that she had a great time and sent her number. Amazing. Date #2: Got dinner and drinks. Ended up spending like 3.5-4 hours talking and hanging out. Really vibed. Closed down a restaurant together that night. Kissed her goodbye in the parking lot. Again went really well. We text pretty much every day. A few days after the date (Saturday night) she was texting telling me to come over and cook with her but I was away (out of state) at a wedding so I couldn't. It was awesome though basically sexting and I'm feeling great about how things are going and that she's really into me. The next day we dont talk much because

I've [F27] been speaking to a guy [M27] off a dating app for roughly three weeks now. We have great conversations, a lot in common but I've noticed : -He isn't asking me as much questions as I'm asking him. -Responds promptly, but doesn't initiate the conversation. - Said "so when are we going out? but hasn't made solid plans. Tf do I do? I feel like if it's not a hell yes it's a no, he's not that interested in this or harboring feelings for someone else and keeping me as back-up. Submitted June 06, 2023 at 12:13AM I've [F27] been speaking to a guy [M27] off a dating app for roughly three weeks now. We have great conversations, a lot in common but I've noticed :-He isn't asking me as much questions as I'm asking him.-Responds promptly, but doesn't initiate the conversation. - Said "so when are we going out? but hasn't made solid plans. Tf do I do? I feel like if it's not a hell yes it's a no, he's

Oh 🥺ok June 05, 2023 at 11:10PM

Just starting to tell people your trauma can be pretty problematic, as another person here suggested. When it comes to topic like these a trigger warning or a check in is always the best, especially if u don't know people. This can be a wide reach, but I think honesty is the best: your writing style can be a red flag for some people, together with not being careful about boundaries it can create a problematic image. I can understand your excitement in finding someone ace for the first time, but immediately trying to talk about it can be a bit much. I am not saying you should maybe tone down your excitement, but think of the person u are talking with and be a bit more empathetic in how u present yourself and if certain topics can be very intimate. Best wishes! June 05, 2023 at 11:09PM

I think atheists should be welcome at that table. Esp since there are atheistic religions, deists who aren't religious, etc. Which to me is a lot like aro or ace in this analogy. June 05, 2023 at 01:17AM

Just being in the DSM doesn’t mean you can get locked up for it. It’s supposed to include every known condition, not just the serious ones. (Not that we should have been included in the first place, but it’s like saying jaywalking is on the books so you can go to federal prison for it.) June 05, 2023 at 01:15AM

So for starters, me and my gf have been dating for a little over a year and a half now. I’ve had some longer relationships but she says that she has never had one that lasted more than a month. We met through a mutual friend. When we first began talking I would ft her every night. I didn’t mean it in a way of trying to make a move or anything, just genuinely liked talking to her as a friend. We talked about our days and if her days were bad I’d try to do what I could yo cheer her up, and she eventually told me that she felt a certain type of way from me talking to her like that and that no one has ever given her this kind of attention before. We fooled around for a few weeks before we eventually started dating. What I’m looking for in a partner is someone mostly to hang out with, fool around every now and then, and to just spend time with. However, I came to find out that she sees relationships as a much more serious matter, and takes any sign of me not marching her intense feelings

Title says it all Submitted June 05, 2023 at 12:14AM Title says it all

I finally landed a date with someone and I'm nervous lol. I've only ever been on one date before and it was really awkward and we never spoke to each other again. We vibed well over text but in person it was just weird. Basically I went to pick her up, and I thought I should get out of my car and give her a brief hug or something. I mean, I thought it would be weird or disrespectful if I just stayed in the car. But when I went to get out she instead she bolted right into the car and didn't say much. We drove to a restaurant and she was really quiet and I was like scrambling trying to think of things to say. We went to a restaurant and she complained about the food and didn't eat anything. I even asked if we could hold hands, but she pulled away from my hand after like 15 seconds lol. And then later we went back to her place to watch some movies but she kept like a 30 foot distance on the couch between me and her. And then we never talked again I'm so scared of this

What do they even mean by "pick a side"? Do they realize they're telling somebody to control who they're attracted to? How is that different from "stop being gay?" fumes June 04, 2023 at 11:39PM

Happy Pride Month! June 04, 2023 at 01:06AM

I have been talking to someone for around 6 weeks. We hang out once a week and go on dates around town. It’s starting to feel like a lot and I’m kinda craving my solitary downtime to relax. I have mostly been in shorter relationships and it’s been a while since I’ve spent a lot of time with someone. Is this normal? I’m wondering if I have avoidant attachment style if I’m already feeling like I need more space when we just see each other once a week. Submitted June 04, 2023 at 01:16AM I have been talking to someone for around 6 weeks. We hang out once a week and go on dates around town. It’s starting to feel like a lot and I’m kinda craving my solitary downtime to relax. I have mostly been in shorter relationships and it’s been a while since I’ve spent a lot of time with someone. Is this normal? I’m wondering if I have avoidant attachment style if I’m already feeling like I need more space when we just see each other once a week.

Well I was never much of an athlete anyway June 04, 2023 at 12:06AM

I'm so glad you did that! There was a time I would endure pain if it meant being liked or desired. It's so liberating to know you have your own back and that you know what you're worth and what you want. Looking back I feel dumb for staying with some exes for way to long... but those were the teaching moments that brought me here, I guess. June 04, 2023 at 12:06AM

I don't want to give away too much info as I'm a little paranoid but regardless. I've been talking to this girl for a couple days now through a dating app (bumble) We both seem to be into each other and I don't know if it's appropriate to send a goodnight or goodmorning message ? I don't see the harm in doing so because you're just saying goodmorning/goodnight, it's nothing intimate but everyone seems to make it out to be a big thing as if you're saying " I love you " or something. Idk my hearts beating and this is the closest I've been to a relationship since I was in school. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, I'm just winging it and I'm nervous. She seems perfect and I'm not lol Submitted June 04, 2023 at 12:10AM I don't want to give away too much info as I'm a little paranoid but regardless.I've been talking to this girl for a couple days now through a dating app (bumble)We both seem to b

No. I don't see myself as queer, gay, or LGBT. June 03, 2023 at 12:23AM

Three of my exes are still in love with me and I have no idea what to do. One of them, who I will call Green I dated less than a year ago. And even after we broke up we stayed good friends and they’ve never had a problem with any of my other exes or partners. They were super sweet, and always felt open with me and I always felt comfortable with them. Then there’s Purple, who I dated after Green, who I immediately had a connection with and we dated for 7 months, but I never felt like he loved me even when he told me he did. He had depression episode lasting about 3 months due to something that had happened over the school year, and even then I was incredibly supportive and made sure he was doing okay. After some time he broke up with me because he didn’t feel anything for me, and he didn’t want to hurt me. So I took the time to try and move on and just focus on myself, when my best friend introduced me to her friend, who we’ll call Blue. Blue happened to be my type, check all the boxes

Ok pls be kind to me bc ik i might sound delusional but i’m gonna be honest abt how i feel 😭 A few months back i met up with this guy from a dating app. It was both of our first time meeting someone from an app (his acc was labeled with “new here” and from my perspective, we got along really well. He seemed shy/nervous at first (he stuttered a bit when answering my initial questions) but i felt like he loosened up as we talked more because he got comfy and more confident. This guy also hardly broke eye contact, every time i spoke he really /looked/ at me and listened to me and understood me. Im usually bad with eye contact but with him i could keep looking at his eyes for a long time, smth i havent experienced before Take note we were both travelling, and in a foreign country weve never been to before. So we walked around til midnight seeing different sites and before parting ways, he asked for my instagram and suggested we meet up in another city, since by chance we were both goin

That may be your experience, which is great for you, but a lot of asexuals do have romantic feelings and relationships that don’t involve sex (or a very limited amount of it.) June 02, 2023 at 11:13PM

Easy! Quality time not making the sex. You know, walking and talking (walkie-talkie). The part where you put in the effort to have a good relationship. Encouraging others to pursue their goals/dreams being empathetic sharing interests/discovering interests the other never thought about pursuing Basic shit like that is infinitely more enjoyable than a series of exercises, involving planking, for 7 minutes or less. June 02, 2023 at 11:11PM

Hello! I(23M) have been dating a girl (21F) for 3 months, we decided to be exclusive and everything is great, we spent a lot of time together, I met her friends and her parents. She met my friends and my parents know about her. She really had a tough life and now her family is having a big big problem and she is having a really bad time with all of this. The last time we saw each other she told me she really like the pandora bracelet and that she wants one. So I’m planning to buy her this bracelet but I don’t know if it’s too soon or if it would look clingy or desperate or something like that but I think this gift will make her happy and maybe help her in these difficult times I want to buy it because I would really like to see her happy What do you think? Sorry for my bad english Submitted June 02, 2023 at 02:10AM Hello! I(23M) have been dating a girl (21F) for 3 months, we decided to be exclusive and everything is great, we spent a lot of time together, I met her friends and h

38 here! June 02, 2023 at 01:21AM

I often hear that women should try sending the first message instead of men. But every time I’ve done that, they usually never reply, or they’ll reply only once and then never message again. I’ve gotten more success with men sending me the first message, I assume because they’re “more” interested? I’m not exactly sure why that is - I don’t send a bland first message like “Hey” either, I try to make it engaging. Submitted June 02, 2023 at 01:14AM I often hear that women should try sending the first message instead of men. But every time I’ve done that, they usually never reply, or they’ll reply only once and then never message again. I’ve gotten more success with men sending me the first message, I assume because they’re “more” interested? I’m not exactly sure why that is - I don’t send a bland first message like “Hey” either, I try to make it engaging.

I want to give my date a flower, but I’m cheap as they get, and an artist. Thoughts? Submitted June 02, 2023 at 12:15AM I want to give my date a flower, but I’m cheap as they get, and an artist. Thoughts?

Yes, the more I talk with the majority of people the more I realize just how different I am, despite having spent about 28 years of my life just thinking I hadn't "met the one" or had "too high standards" June 01, 2023 at 11:34PM