My exes are still in love with me and I don’t know what to do

Three of my exes are still in love with me and I have no idea what to do. One of them, who I will call Green I dated less than a year ago. And even after we broke up we stayed good friends and they’ve never had a problem with any of my other exes or partners. They were super sweet, and always felt open with me and I always felt comfortable with them. Then there’s Purple, who I dated after Green, who I immediately had a connection with and we dated for 7 months, but I never felt like he loved me even when he told me he did. He had depression episode lasting about 3 months due to something that had happened over the school year, and even then I was incredibly supportive and made sure he was doing okay. After some time he broke up with me because he didn’t feel anything for me, and he didn’t want to hurt me. So I took the time to try and move on and just focus on myself, when my best friend introduced me to her friend, who we’ll call Blue. Blue happened to be my type, check all the boxes for all I would be into, was incredibly understanding and overly affectionate like I am, but I still hadn’t fully moved on from purple and he hadn’t moved on from me, and Green really needed my company, and had started developing feelings for me again. I wanted to connect more with both of them as well as Blue, but Blue wanted to rush into a relationship I didn’t even want, and they knew that I wasn’t feeling ready. After a week and a couple breakdowns, I decided to break up with blue because I didn’t want to be with anyone at all. At this point, Green really didn’t take a liking to Blue at ALL, which sucks because blue really wanted to meet and be friends with Green and purple , and Purple has been completely understanding and supportive with my choices, and has been working on himself and his own mental health. Purple was still jealous of Blue but always let me have my own choices and was just happy I was happy. How I actually feel about all of them, is that while I love spending time with green and they’re super sweet, I know I could never date them. I see blue as a soulmate, but not in a romantic way, and I think I’ve been trying to convince myself I’ll eventually feel it in my heart but I don’t think I can, but I don’t know if I can admit that to them. But purple, I still love him, he’s been the most loving and accepting of anyone through out all of this, has even continued texting me everyday to check in on me, but none of my friends like him very much for his past habits, and I know he wouldn’t be the best person to date, despite how much I want to. Am I an asshole, have I been playing all of them? What can I do to keep everyone happy including myself?

Submitted June 03, 2023 at 01:04AM

Three of my exes are still in love with me and I have no idea what to do. One of them, who I will call Green I dated less than a year ago. And even after we broke up we stayed good friends and they’ve never had a problem with any of my other exes or partners. They were super sweet, and always felt open with me and I always felt comfortable with them. Then there’s Purple, who I dated after Green, who I immediately had a connection with and we dated for 7 months, but I never felt like he loved me even when he told me he did. He had depression episode lasting about 3 months due to something that had happened over the school year, and even then I was incredibly supportive and made sure he was doing okay. After some time he broke up with me because he didn’t feel anything for me, and he didn’t want to hurt me. So I took the time to try and move on and just focus on myself, when my best friend introduced me to her friend, who we’ll call Blue. Blue happened to be my type, check all the boxes for all I would be into, was incredibly understanding and overly affectionate like I am, but I still hadn’t fully moved on from purple and he hadn’t moved on from me, and Green really needed my company, and had started developing feelings for me again. I wanted to connect more with both of them as well as Blue, but Blue wanted to rush into a relationship I didn’t even want, and they knew that I wasn’t feeling ready. After a week and a couple breakdowns, I decided to break up with blue because I didn’t want to be with anyone at all. At this point, Green really didn’t take a liking to Blue at ALL, which sucks because blue really wanted to meet and be friends with Green and purple , and Purple has been completely understanding and supportive with my choices, and has been working on himself and his own mental health. Purple was still jealous of Blue but always let me have my own choices and was just happy I was happy.How I actually feel about all of them, is that while I love spending time with green and they’re super sweet, I know I could never date them. I see blue as a soulmate, but not in a romantic way, and I think I’ve been trying to convince myself I’ll eventually feel it in my heart but I don’t think I can, but I don’t know if I can admit that to them. But purple, I still love him, he’s been the most loving and accepting of anyone through out all of this, has even continued texting me everyday to check in on me, but none of my friends like him very much for his past habits, and I know he wouldn’t be the best person to date, despite how much I want to. Am I an asshole, have I been playing all of them? What can I do to keep everyone happy including myself?