wonderful May 11, 2021 at 12:03AM

I feel like it's kind of a blurry line but I'd say for things like if someone deliberately seeks it out knowing that it'll make them upset without having any particular reason for wanting to see it, or for having a reason for wanting to see it that's self-destructive May 11, 2021 at 12:03AM

I would love this. May 11, 2021 at 12:01AM

When could it be considered sh? May 11, 2021 at 12:00AM

it doesn't have to be, I'm just saying it can be May 10, 2021 at 11:58PM

More like "Fus ro Nah fam" May 10, 2021 at 11:57PM

“Late bloomer” is often used to invalidate asexuals, but don’t let that fool you into thinking it’s not a real phenomenon. Some allosexuals really don’t experience sexual desire until a little later until puberty, so it is possible you might not be asexual. On the other hand, I suspected asexuality since I was 12 and it still holds true as an adult. I’m clearly not a late bloomer, puberty’s been done for awhile. If you personally believe you will not experience sexual desire even as an older person, after giving the matter some serious thought, I would say it makes sense to consider yourself asexual. After all, allosexuals can consider themselves gay, straight, bi, etc. and get crushes and know that’s the set of genders they’ll like before they ever experience any sexual desire. So why can’t you also know what set of genders you’ll like (none)? May 10, 2021 at 11:57PM

on “my body and how much i hate myself that i dont see myself worthy of beling loved”—self haters and people who think/know they’re ugly still feel sexual attraction. thinking that they’ll never actually get to have sex never stops them from feeling the sexual desire. a symptom of depression is indeed “Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex,” which can look like asexuality, but if you still have 0 interest in having sex when you’re not depressed then you’re asexual. although, if you’re actually attracted to the people in porn, instead of just having it be associated with the good physical sensation of masturbation, you’re probably aspec and not full-on asexual May 10, 2021 at 11:52PM

It's probably hard to clean all of those balls. May 10, 2021 at 11:52PM

But they didn't choose the colours of the flag (or am I just colourblind?). Or at least that ace looks green and purple for me. May 10, 2021 at 11:51PM

Agreed! I'm biromantic, but that's gonna be a no from me. May 10, 2021 at 11:48PM

yo i’m ace and don’t mind it when others desire me sexually because it means i’m probably aesthetically attractive too. i’m probably able to appreciate it because everyone’s also been accepting of the fact i don’t want to have sex though… May 10, 2021 at 11:47PM

Thanks for your time and input! It's a difficult situation, for sure. I know she tries her best to not pressure me, but the truth is that it's inevitable I guess. For an allosexual, who thinks about and craves sex, I can understand the struggle from her side of things. From what she's explained, sex is important for her to feel desirable, loved and secure in her relationship. I can't be upset at her for needing that, no more than I should be upset at myself for not being able provide it, I guess. We are both still in love with each other and we are working together to try and make our relationship work, but I just don't know if it's in vain and we are putting ourselves through extra pain. We recently started seeing a marriage counselor, hopefully that will give us the best odds. May 10, 2021 at 11:45PM

awww I remember when r/tumblrinaction was full of stuff like “ugh another straight white male” in re: something honoring Alan Turing who was gay. Mocking people who don’t do the research and go off on people who did nothing wrong. I guess it must have gone downhill if it’s full of “this sexuality isn’t real” crap for stuff that isn’t clearly ridiculous and trolling like “only attracted to literal helicopters” May 10, 2021 at 11:44PM

It does? I thought I was just curious... May 10, 2021 at 11:44PM

For a lot of people, it’s not just “oh societal conditioning that you need it” but an actual thing they really want. To some allosexuals, it’s as if we were born without needing to eat food to live. Of course, that metaphor falls apart because even if you really want sex intensely you do not need it to stay alive, but you do need food to stay alive, but basically it’s a very strong innate desire they have (and it’s okay that they experience it—they can’t control what they feel, only what they act on) that for some reason is linked with romance. My best guess for the romance link is society as well as something something evolution couples raising babies adaptation blah blah idk. May 10, 2021 at 11:42PM

This hits home for me. I work in a very blue-collar environment where everyone discusses their sex lives all the time. I'm not "out" at work, per se, but i describe myself as "not interested in sex" when asked and everybody knows i'm a virgin (because i stopped caring about that fact a while ago). A while ago i was at a work function and someone brought beer. I had a beer, and everyone lost their damn minds. They were beyond shocked. It was all anyone could talk about for a good half hour. Never mind that i'm in my mid 20's, that i smoke/vape, that i swear like a sailor. Apparently my lack of interest in sex means i'm a child who isn't allowed to do other adult activities. Drives me up a wall. May 10, 2021 at 11:40PM

I actually found myself calling people hot when I just tought they were aestheticly pleasing May 10, 2021 at 11:27PM

As a demi this is all I think about or dream about. Never sex, love this May 10, 2021 at 11:27PM

The sun is glittering in a violet sky, And the dark land shudders beneath you and I. Against their corny hearts we stand, Ever keeping true to our souls. They doubt us, lo, but we’re still here, The aces - armed with açaí bowls. I know this rhyme scheme makes no sense and that should say you and me… sorry May 10, 2021 at 11:24PM

someone posted just yesterday or the day before that it changed for them, and not even through therapy. that said, personally, in my relationships, i have always drawn my line at ultimatums. if my partner won't consider a compromise then i don't see why i should either. May 10, 2021 at 11:20PM

Less healthy than the average romance? Everyone’s drawn to a little bit of junk /j Seriously, though, shortcake is bomb. I’ve heard love is good too May 10, 2021 at 11:18PM

You obviously understand your situation better than random people on the internet, but from what you’ve written she definitely is at least pressuring , if not forcing, you to be sexual in a way you don’t desire. Again, this response is all based on the post, which could be different from what you intended to say. By insinuating that there is something wrong with you as an asexual person, which isn’t true, she’s framing this problem as something you need to “get better” from or she’s going to leave you. That’s a wholly inappropriate response to this conflict, and she is definitely coercing you to have sex with her. I know there’s nuance to every situation, and that complexity is often flattened over the internet. Still, if this post is reflective of your experiences, she does have a definite reason to feel guilty. I recommend you try to look for a marriage counselor! There are plenty of married asexuals with allosexual partners who have found ways to stay connected without lots of se