Go to a jelwer and have them size it? July 24, 2021 at 12:03AM

I am with you with the stats. I was thinking around 15 for men and 20 for women. July 24, 2021 at 12:02AM

Yeah July 24, 2021 at 12:01AM

Hey that’s great. I can’t relate to it at all but sounds great! July 24, 2021 at 12:01AM

i'm so glad i found this tbh bc im also currently questioning whether i'm ace. it's nice to know i'm not alone, lmao the replies are so helpful omg :D July 24, 2021 at 12:00AM

Your comment is helpful in the sense it’s reassuring lol. I pay out of pocket and contacted him directly. I’m currently looking up for other options/talking to two other therapists and will most likely end the process with him. This actually wasn’t that big of an incident, but it was like the itty bitty detail that tipped the scale for me. That comment aside, I wouldn’t say he’s been the worst therapist, but I do believe we don’t work well together. Thanks! July 24, 2021 at 12:00AM

i'm ace and my boyfriend is demi lol July 23, 2021 at 11:55PM

Therapists are people too with all the faults attached. He maybe fixated on the real possibilities of why someone might be sex averse but if you’ve got this figured out then it’s perfectly fine to look for help elsewhere. Don’t forget that you’re paying this person and a more suitable match might be found July 23, 2021 at 11:55PM

Yikes. That sucks. Seriously, this therapist is not sounding like a good fit for you (or in general) July 23, 2021 at 11:54PM

I have diagnosed asperger syndrome! July 23, 2021 at 11:54PM

Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think I would’ve even brought it up myself. He asked about it suddenly while discussing my fear of rejection/abandonment and I just answered before having time to think it was maybe not something I wanted to bring up. July 23, 2021 at 11:52PM

“Things he cannot fully comprehend” sounds about right. He somehow mixed up asexuality and non-binarism when the topic first came up (and that’s okay, not everyone is savvy in every topic right away) but now that you point it out, it’s weird he’s so adamant to go down that route when he seemingly has no real info. I feel like my comments are gradually moving to “just complain about the dude”, but maaaaan I hadn’t reflected on so many things. July 23, 2021 at 11:48PM

There’s a lot to unpack in terms of asexuality, or any type of sexuality really. This may be an issue you genuinely need to dive into and for that you’ll need a therapist who understand the sexuality and listens to you. I’m sure he means well, but his ignorance can be really harmful if you subscribe to asexuality being a result of trauma and other myths. July 23, 2021 at 11:46PM

I don't think I am... but maybe? I have have a lot more difficulty acclimating/ignoring strong scents and repetitive sounds than most people do. Slocks, crickets, dripping water... they all drive me nuts because I can't filter them out. July 23, 2021 at 11:46PM

My therapist said the same thing ! Even the “choice” and “abuse” part She also said to me “you HAVE to have sex” (that exacts words) Dunno about how you can deal with yours, though July 23, 2021 at 11:45PM

In my opinion, he's violating a couple of ethical principles here. Beneficence and Nonmaleficence, and Respect for People's Rights and Dignity. He's supposed to avoid biases and prejudices, and have respect for your sexuality without imposing his own thoughts on you. My therapist asked if my asexuality and aromanticism could be related to my parents arguing all the time. I let her know that it isn't, and that asking that was a bit offensive and should probably be something the client asks about. She apologized and I said it was fine, I just wanted to let her know because there's no real guidelines on how to approach it but if she has future clients like me they can chat a bit more comfortably. She asked about my experiences, I told her I've had a therapist before who insisted that my asexuality was because of fear of intimacy and how many others who are asexual and aromantic have had that idea forced upon them. We had an open discussion about it, how it made m...

Mmmm. And there's the southern fried talk I got. Abstinence and scare tactics. What's protection, lol? Glad I'm ace, saved me some trouble in highschool for sure. July 23, 2021 at 11:40PM

Mine said something along the lines of “Let’s try to find out why you decided this, even if you choose to continue not having sex in the future”. I think his intentions are good, but it’s annoying that he keeps pressing the choice/decision argument. I replied to another comment that EVEN if he is right, me feeling attacked/invalidated and making me defensive is not gonna help the process. July 23, 2021 at 11:40PM

Wow that’s crazy I’m sorry your going through all of that 😔 July 23, 2021 at 11:40PM

damn... so many things really! Like when all my friends where dating and talking about guys or started talking about sex, and I just felt so dislocated. Or when I started dating because of the pression and then my first time was like "well this sucks" and then I tried with other people and still sucked, it was just plain boring idk and disgusting. I thought something was wrong with me but now I know nothing's wrong with me! But people make you believe that that is the only way and if you don't feel that way something must be wrong with you, I know teens don't know about those things, they should teach about lgbt+ at school... July 23, 2021 at 11:39PM

If you are confident about some part of your sexuality, sure, go ahead, just mind that like everything in us, it could marginally change over time. Do not spend too much time putting labels onto yourself, they are here to describe you, not define you. July 23, 2021 at 11:36PM

I agree with your feelings about sex. I too am soo beyond tired and repulsed of the hypersexualized culture. It’s seriously propaganda. Not every culture views sex the same way as what is pushed here, so that was my first suspicion. And then the fact that people cannot factually pull the “PeOple wiLL diE of DepreSsiOn iF thEy don’T geT Laid foR toO LonG” and also the “sEx = iNtiMacy” it’s such bs when you look at how lightly the majority of people take the act itself in hookup culture and the pressure the screw within the first few dates. People too often barely know each other long or deeply before they’re screwing, people are soo hesitant to make emotional connections these days so there is noo way that sex is mandatory to create intimacy. Majority are doing it for recreation. And the fact that most of the time men don’t even bother to make sure the woman orgasms, so majority is for mens recreation. July 23, 2021 at 11:28PM

Jesus' mom was a virgin July 23, 2021 at 11:27PM