/u/Forestflowered on I discussed asexuality with my therapist and ended up feeling uncomfortable

In my opinion, he's violating a couple of ethical principles here. Beneficence and Nonmaleficence, and Respect for People's Rights and Dignity. He's supposed to avoid biases and prejudices, and have respect for your sexuality without imposing his own thoughts on you.

My therapist asked if my asexuality and aromanticism could be related to my parents arguing all the time. I let her know that it isn't, and that asking that was a bit offensive and should probably be something the client asks about. She apologized and I said it was fine, I just wanted to let her know because there's no real guidelines on how to approach it but if she has future clients like me they can chat a bit more comfortably. She asked about my experiences, I told her I've had a therapist before who insisted that my asexuality was because of fear of intimacy and how many others who are asexual and aromantic have had that idea forced upon them. We had an open discussion about it, how it made me feel, how she can be better, and that's how it's supposed to go. A therapist works with you, not at you. She's an awesome therapist, and I still see her because she was willing to learn. As therapists should.

You're listening to his perspectives, but he's not doing his job right if he's not listening to yours.

Therapists shouldn't take it personally if you choose someone else. I used to think that I had to stick with one because it would make them feel bad if I left, and I didn't want that, but part of their job is to be okay with not being the right fit. Sometimes you're not comfortable with a therapist, or the vibe isn't right, any reason to switch is a good reason.

I'm sorry you had an experience like this. It sucks big time. I hope you find a therapist that's right for you.

July 23, 2021 at 11:42PM