I'm not het but I say this every time this topic comes up, the reason why asexuals are LGBTA (hets included) is because asexuals have experienced decades of medical abuse and corrective rape the same way gays and lesbians have. The entire premises of "LGBTA+" as a concept is to legitimize sexual and gender identities as real things and not as the mental health disorders they were considered to be in the past and still presently. You being het won't shield you from anti-ace abuse, your romantic orientation is unrelated. October 17, 2021 at 12:20AM

This could be for a few reasons; you're not ready for a sexual relationship, you're not sexually attracted to him, or you're sex repulsed. However, sex repulsed individuals report that their mindset is sex being more disgusting than wrong. It's likely you're not ready, either with this person or in general. Give it time, go gently and slowly, and if you're uncomfortable, say so. If you're able and fully willing to, take a step back and linger on that step for a bit. Do not rush it. But if you don't have a desire to have sex, there's no pressure to get yourself ready. Do it on your terms This was my experience. I'm demi, but I felt that something was very, very wrong when we initiated. Turned out I just wasn't ready. My partner and I just hung out together until I was ready to kick it up a notch- kissing. Etc. Etc. October 17, 2021 at 12:17AM

audible gasp October 17, 2021 at 12:16AM

What bothers me most about sex scenes in movies is the fact that they’re always so glamourised like the film is telling you “oh you like this and you want this for yourself don’t you?” To me that makes things like Sex Education or The Great a lot more palatable because in SE it’s all about how awkward and weird it actually is and in The Great almost all of the sex scenes are so weird and off putting that most allo people wouldn’t want to be involved either and that’s the point October 17, 2021 at 12:13AM

But what if I just lie awake doing nothing and sleep for 4 hours instead? October 17, 2021 at 12:12AM

My number one fear is running into someone else I may know or being recognized. The party is with about 15-20 individuals and couples at a private location. I only know one couple (who invited me) but not much else. Since the party is local to me, I envision a scenario where I could run into someone. Submitted October 17, 2021 at 12:33AM My number one fear is running into someone else I may know or being recognized. The party is with about 15-20 individuals and couples at a private location. I only know one couple (who invited me) but not much else. Since the party is local to me, I envision a scenario where I could run into someone.

I'm looking to go and meet for hook up but extremely worried about std. Everyone says they are std free but how can I be safe??? Submitted October 17, 2021 at 12:42AM I'm looking to go and meet for hook up but extremely worried about std. Everyone says they are std free but how can I be safe???

Okay so I am relatively new to Reddit. But over my time here so far, I have noticed the community can give some great advice and be quite helpful. Let's hope you can come through here again! I do not want to make this post too long, so I will do my best to sum it up. I have been in a relationship for 2.5 years to this point. Almost everything is perfect! I love her very much. She is so sweet and funny and I really look forward to coming home from work and seeing her and spending time together. She also loves me a great deal. The only issue in the relationship is our sex life. There isn't one. We are very open about this topic, we have discussed it on numerous occasions, unfortunately nothing ever changes. It essentially vanished once we moved in together March 2020. So I feel like this is a bit of a unique situation where things are so happy and healthy between us, but we are completely missing the sex side of things, and that is disappointing to me. Do you think I just h...

Hey everyone I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, so I guess I’ll ask it here. My girlfriend said she wants to be the dominant one in the bedroom and I’m having a hard time adjusting. I’m 24(M) and she is 23(F). In all my previous relationships I have always been the dominant one and the woman all loved being submissive for me. Fast forward to this relationship we have been dating for a year and my girlfriend recently told me she prefers to be in control. I think I subconsciously realized this before she told me but my mind wouldn’t wrap my head around it. She said she gets more turned on by slightly degrading me in bed , riding my face, instructing me what to do etc. Honestly I’m not used to this but it can be super hot giving her that control and I love it. Problem is, sometimes it’s hard for me to get in a submissive mood and while she rides me I can get in my head just thinking about how I want to be in her role. 75% of the time I love giving her the control she wants...

Question above. Boyfriends too long and were looking for a way to stop him from going too deep, without thinking about it. Google searches aren't very helpful. No balls on the ring. Thanks! Submitted October 17, 2021 at 12:55AM Question above. Boyfriends too long and were looking for a way to stop him from going too deep, without thinking about it. Google searches aren't very helpful.No balls on the ring.Thanks!

Wait or move on? For the context me and this girl who have been friends for over a year and really good friends for a couple months. She’s always been the type to hide her pain and act like she’s fine while I’ve always tried to lend a hand even though I knew she probably wasn’t going to take it but I know for a fact she appreciates the fact that I’ve stuck around even after the times she’s gone cold and been distant. Needless to say I’ve got feelings for her but I’m 89% sure she is nowhere near at the mental or emotional stableness to be in a relationship right now. I personally believe it would be such a dick move to ask her out right now and then move on from her when she says no when I know she’s dealing with a lot of shit. I have been sacrificing my own emotional state though as sometimes all I want to do is hang out or even talk to her but it’s hard when she doesn’t respond in days or doesn’t go through with our plans to hang out. I don’t want to keep her in my head for so long ...

Long story short my girlfriend gave up on on our relationship when she left for grad school. She kept sending messages post break up that she loves me and wishes she could “put in the same amount of time and energy that I deserve” we were literally best friends and as soon as she made a crew of friends in grad school she just kicked me to the curb. During our breakup, she mentioned she’s open to the idea of getting back together during the winter time, but did not want to make any promises because things change. I feel like this was a cop out for her, and she’d been thinking about ending it for quite some time. Should I move on? I really want to reach out to her but don’t want to break the no contact and let her come to me if she ever does... what should I do?? Submitted October 17, 2021 at 12:08AM Long story short my girlfriend gave up on on our relationship when she left for grad school. She kept sending messages post break up that she loves me and wishes she could “put in th...

Your average guy that wants to be an entrepreneur one day. Studying software and a bit of economics, listening to psychological books in the metro and trying to find time to learn more about marketing. I used to be Christian, and still attend a church, but I am not sure if I believe in God anymore. Just trying to live life well. I think that talking with someone for an hour is a better get to know them than a conversation on here, so you can expect an invite for coffee from me soon. 🐣 Submitted October 17, 2021 at 12:08AM Your average guy that wants to be an entrepreneur one day. Studying software and a bit of economics, listening to psychological books in the metro and trying to find time to learn more about marketing.I used to be Christian, and still attend a church, but I am not sure if I believe in God anymore. Just trying to live life well.I think that talking with someone for an hour is a better get to know them than a conversation on here, so you can expect an invite f...

I am 18 M, I really like a girl (17) and I'm trying to flirt with her. She understood I like her but she's not really convinced beacuse of some behaviour I had in the past with her, actually nothing really important, and so she doesn't know if my love for her is real real. So I have to demonstrate her that i really like her, and i thought for example with some romantic gesture... Important details: i have not declared in a way straight to her my love yet and i've never gone out with her lonely, but always with some our friends beacuse we are in the same group of friends. Help? :) Submitted October 17, 2021 at 12:12AM I am 18 M, I really like a girl (17) and I'm trying to flirt with her. She understood I like her but she's not really convinced beacuse of some behaviour I had in the past with her, actually nothing really important, and so she doesn't know if my love for her is real real. So I have to demonstrate her that i really like her, and i thought...

My dating life sucks tbh. I just seem to date the wrong people who don't share my values or we simply lack chemistry. Anyway, there are some things that are important to me in a relationship and in my life, like I don't want to have kids. And I don't want to waste my time dating someone who wants kids but I feel it's too early to talk about that on the first -or even second- date. There are other things that are important to me like religion and life goals. When should I talk about those things? I don't want to come off too strong.. but I'm in a place in my life where I'm looking for a relationship that lasts and I really don't want to waste my time going on dates only to realize later that we don't share the same values or are not looking for the same things. Submitted October 17, 2021 at 12:13AM My dating life sucks tbh. I just seem to date the wrong people who don't share my values or we simply lack chemistry. Anyway, there are some thi...

Like... there's already enough people that exclude us, I don't need to hear it from other asexuals too. October 16, 2021 at 11:16PM

kinda, I don’t have any issues if you do but personally I don’t really consider myself LGBT October 16, 2021 at 11:14PM

I said this in another comment but I've felt the same about identifying as bi-romantic or aro since I have felt romantic attraction to people but, it was so rare that I wasn't sure. I personally identify as grey/bi-romantic and I think it fits me better than full bi-romantic or full aro. So you might be grey/het-romantic or demi/het-romantic October 16, 2021 at 11:14PM

I materubated only one time. After I did, I felt regret and disgust. Whoever said it decreases anxiety and/or depression is definitely wrong. Me existing proves that. October 16, 2021 at 11:13PM

I've felt the same way but with identifying as bi-romantic or aro. I personally identify as ace grey/bi-romantic and I feel like it fits me better than aro or bi-romantic, so you could be grey/het-romantic or demi/het-romantic October 16, 2021 at 11:11PM