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Showing posts from November 25, 2020

Every time a guy I like starts making moves on me, I start to lose interest and want nothing to do with him.

I don't really know whether this is normal. I have been in relationships before and don't really have any self-esteem issues so I don't know why I feel this way. I can have the biggest crush on a guy for any amount of time, but the moment I feel like that interest is reciprocated, I start to lose romantic interest in him and feel uncomfortable if he makes a move. Recently I have gotten closer to a guy friend who I have had a crush on for a few months. We have known each other for a while and he is a great person and I am attracted to him. However, the other day he was a lot more physically flirty than usual (he's not ordinarily a flirty person) and I was instantly put off, even though I should have been excited that he was showing interest. I am perfectly comfortable with physical touch so I don't think that was the issue, it was more that he confidently showed interest. I almost felt myself recoil. This has happened to me before but I don't know whether I s...

Realistic and romantics needed: I'm (F23) dying to contact the guy(M30) I fell in love with but it ended a while ago.

It ended months ago and since then I've resisted the urge but I can't help but think whether I was the problem with my crazy. This isn't to say what I felt at the time that we parted wasn't valid. He also hasn't reached out to me at all either so that makes me even more right but I can't help but I feel like I pushed him away. I really just want to see him again but don't want to be that girl.I know how stupid it is but its killing me to not reach out. Should I follow my heart and put on my clownface or just give up? Submitted November 25, 2020 at 11:51PM It ended months ago and since then I've resisted the urge but I can't help but think whether I was the problem with my crazy. This isn't to say what I felt at the time that we parted wasn't valid. He also hasn't reached out to me at all either so that makes me even more right but I can't help but I feel like I pushed him away. I really just want to see him again but don't ...

What should I make my date for dinner?

This will be our fourth date if that matters and he has been very thoughtful and sweet to me so I’d like to do something nice for him! Submitted November 25, 2020 at 11:54PM This will be our fourth date if that matters and he has been very thoughtful and sweet to me so I’d like to do something nice for him!

Regaining control after hookup?

31M Hooked up with a typical femme fatale(30F) last sunday, she's completely obsessed with sex and its the only thing she wants. I want another (last) date, but I also know about all of her options, and as i'm too blind and thirsty- I already made some rookie mistakes. I texted first the day after the hookup and told her I enjoyed it and i'd like some more. To which she kind of said yes, but tested me first by asking me what I wanted to do with her. After that she said "alright, lets see what happens. " I texted her the day after that again to set up a date, she said she wanted to but her period started, to which i basically told her to contact me when shes ready. Each time i've texted her she replies almost instantly, doesn't let me wait, but she is super distant and i'm the one chasing. I'm so obsessed with what she gave me during the hookup that I've lost my game. She is in complete control. How do I regain control and land this second ...

I’m confused about a guy not responding to me

I’m a 16F. I was starting to talk to a 17M, and he was being a little overbearing. I started leaving him on read a lot and a few days ago he asked if he was being overbearing, and I said “ a little “ he said he was busy the next day so he wouldn’t be texting me. The day after that one I asked him about his SoundCloud and he left me on delivered for 24+ hours. Then he responded with a one line response and I’ve been on delivered for 6 days now. Why is he acting like this? Submitted November 25, 2020 at 11:47PM I’m a 16F. I was starting to talk to a 17M, and he was being a little overbearing. I started leaving him on read a lot and a few days ago he asked if he was being overbearing, and I said “ a little “ he said he was busy the next day so he wouldn’t be texting me. The day after that one I asked him about his SoundCloud and he left me on delivered for 24+ hours. Then he responded with a one line response and I’ve been on delivered for 6 days now. Why is he acting like this?

Whenever I ask them out they say I'm rushing things

Like girl #1 was really telling me she wanted to come to my gym and workout together since I shared some workout pics, she then said that after that we could come over to her house for a drink. So I was like alirght why not. Then I ask her when she wanted to meet up and she suddenly says we're rushing things like holy shit that was the biggest cocktease of my life. I've had various girls say im rusihng things cause I don't want to text longer than neccesairy cause I like to know what they're like in person asap before i invest too much of my time in them. So this time i was like alright i'll wait and be patient with girl #2 so we texted for like 6 days straight, she was one hell of a dry texter but did seem to show interest and kept texting me so i was like alirght why not help her out by asking her out right since dry texters don't like texting that much i thought and surprise she said we're rushing things. ​ How long should i generally wait before i ...

How do I move forward? or should I?

I recently noticed a guy from my class, and now the semester’s pretty much over. A couple days ago I slid up on his instagram story and we talked for a while. I ended up trying to ask him to go out with me and my friends, but he said he was busy. I’m sure he really is busy, but I don’t want to ask again if he isn’t interested at all. I don’t want to be the one to always start the conversation, but I don’t know how to let him know that I’m interested without potentially embarrassing myself. Submitted November 25, 2020 at 10:40PM I recently noticed a guy from my class, and now the semester’s pretty much over. A couple days ago I slid up on his instagram story and we talked for a while. I ended up trying to ask him to go out with me and my friends, but he said he was busy. I’m sure he really is busy, but I don’t want to ask again if he isn’t interested at all. I don’t want to be the one to always start the conversation, but I don’t know how to let him know that I’m interested witho...

How to decide when it’s not worth it or when to give ppl a chance?

Why does dating require so much effort uh! I’ve been having incidences in the past where I had rejected a couple guys and friends would continue to tell me oh you shouldn’t be so harsh on judging these ppl, maybe give them some time to get to know them better. What ends up happening usually is I don’t like them even more after getting to know them better. Or sometimes when friends ask me whether I would consider one of our friends, and I started to find him attractive, but making moves got tricky, then friends would say things like oh it’s not worth it and want to introduce their other friends to me. Why is it that I’m always the one that should give others a chance and get to know them better and when I want to approach someone I’m interested in then shouldn’t try to impress them bc it’s not worth it? Like why do I have to be the nice person to take on ppl I’m not too interested but when I’m interested in someone it’s always not worth working for? What if the other person also jus...

Advice on following up after meeting girl at a small gathering

I (27M), was at a small (safe and socially distanced lol) gathering between a few friends celebrating my buddys engagement. There was a girl I met. 25 ish. She boulders with my friend and his fiance. He showed up a little late so we didn't talk for more than about 10 to 15 minutes, but it seemed like she may have been single as she came alone. didn't get much of a chance to talk it didn't really seem proper to ask her for her number that quickly and there wasn't really a good chance because we were in the room with others and socially distanced so being subtle wasnt an option. Next day I texted my friend and asked if she was single and he confirmed that she is. He didn't necessarily think it was a bad fit but noted he isn't great at knowing who would work lol. They are getting married on January 2nd and the same small group of people will be the only people in attendance, (again socially distanced.) My question is should I wait until the wedding comes aro...

Why/how do some unplesant women manage to get married or relationships while people like me [23F] can't?

Im 23F and ready to settle down. Did the living in multiple countries things, 2 degrees, time to get married. I like to watch bridezillas show that used to be on and even from as far as 15 years ago these woman are my age, and are unbearable. Mostly in their personalities. They treat their fiances so bad, yet for some reason me, who has never acted that way towards anyone, cant get a boyfriend. I dont get it. Why does this happen? It has nothing to do with looks, its their personalities that are crap and yet they still find happiness. This is valid in real life as well. I dont understand it. Also, this goes beyond a TV show. I see this behavior in people I know lifes too. I see it in my own cousin's marriage, and I just dont understand. Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:07AM Im 23F and ready to settle down. Did the living in multiple countries things, 2 degrees, time to get married.I like to watch bridezillas show that used to be on and even from as far as 15 years ago the...

I'm(26M) getting Mixed signals from her (22F)

So we haven't met yet due to the pandemic but we've been chatting online for 6 months now. Some months ago she started to call me honey and she wanted to meet me. I reciprocated and basically we call eachother cute names and such. She sent many photos of herself etc. She always responds positively etc. We have a lot in common. But, she rarely if ever initiate texting. If we stop chatting, days will go by in radio silence from her. If I try to start picking it up and start chatting again she can take 20 hours before she answers. But when the chatting has started she will be more quick in responding. She says im perfect and a real man bla bla. But if she actually liked me wouldn't she atleast put some effort into initiating atleast SOMETIMES? I have a bad gut feeling about it, she was the one that started liking me why I need to chase her for attention? Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:09AM So we haven't met yet due to the pandemic but we've been chatting o...

Is cutting off a friend because she's not romantically interested a dick move?

The thing is she really likes me and I can't bare to explain why I'm not talking to her all of a sudden. She was interested at first, then after a friendship established she rejected me (months ago) but we remained friends, still though my feelings didn't change and I'm just falling asleep sad every night because I know she's just not into me. In order to stop feeling sorry for myself I just stopped talking to her and she seems sad about it which also doesn't feel great for me. I just feel like an asshole for essentially ghosting her but I can't seem to cope any other way Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:13AM The thing is she really likes me and I can't bare to explain why I'm not talking to her all of a sudden. She was interested at first, then after a friendship established she rejected me (months ago) but we remained friends, still though my feelings didn't change and I'm just falling asleep sad every night because I know she's...

Why can't I do this anymore?

Is anyone else having a difficult time with actually meeting up with someone you met thru OLD? When it comes down to it, I freak the fuck out and then blow them off. I am anxious by nature, but it's never been this bad.. Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:16AM Is anyone else having a difficult time with actually meeting up with someone you met thru OLD? When it comes down to it, I freak the fuck out and then blow them off. I am anxious by nature, but it's never been this bad..

Ex[23f] just completely unfriended me[24m] on social media right after the breakup. Does she even care?

She just left saying “K then, I don’t know if I will talk to you anymore because I only make you mad. I’m not enough. You deserve better. You’re out of my league. Sorry for everything. I asked her if she was gone forever and she said “I don’t know, I don’t want to leave you but I just don’t know how to make you happy anymore.” When she said “I only make you mad” I replied “No” but she kept saying “Mhm” so I gave up and let her go. She unfriended me right after. I told her if that’s what she wanted then fine. My ex deals with low self esteem/depression and I deal with irritation from my depression so I guess that’s why she said that. Submitted November 26, 2020 at 12:17AM She just left saying “K then, I don’t know if I will talk to you anymore because I only make you mad. I’m not enough. You deserve better. You’re out of my league. Sorry for everything.I asked her if she was gone forever and she said “I don’t know, I don’t want to leave you but I just don’t know how to make you...

/u/PhrygianNoodles on This, this is it. They are wants and not needs

I agree completely. Ejaculation might be a need though. Im not asexual, just sex repulsed, especially by hypersexual behavior and polyamory. Still a virgin by choice and considering lifelong celibacy. November 25, 2020 at 11:51PM

/u/pointsaresingular on I'm an enby artist that paints hidden pride flags for people in unaccepting households. I wanted to add gold to the ace flag specifically because there's such a misconception about ace people dull or boring, all over their preference. The gold combats that. I stand with you, friends.

This is really lovely! What a cool thing to do! November 25, 2020 at 11:48PM

/u/BabyBandit616 on How do Allos accidentally sleep with someone?

Okay story time. When I was 18, I had a friend who said she lost her virginity, well she told me “it just happened” while they were watching Star Wars. I was so mad but I didn’t realize until later it was because I was asexual, and couldn’t understand why people wanted to do things like that. Another allo friend of mine however, told me sex doesn’t happen on accident unless someone’s inebriated. November 25, 2020 at 11:35PM

/u/TheyThemArt on I'm an enby artist that paints hidden pride flags for people in unaccepting households. I wanted to add gold to the ace flag specifically because there's such a misconception about ace people dull or boring, all over their preference. The gold combats that. I stand with you, friends.

Thank you so much 💕💕 November 25, 2020 at 11:31PM

/u/bubbles2360 on This, this is it. They are wants and not needs

Not a physiological one, no because if so, that means people like nuns would’ve been dead centuries ago. Sex is a want, not a need. Anything that can kill you without it is a need. People don’t need sex but rather desire it cuz if people needed sex to survive then that means newborns, infants, toddlers, young children, etc would be banging each other on a regular basis to stay alive which clearly doesn’t happen November 25, 2020 at 11:28PM

/u/AHauntingAlternative on I'm an enby artist that paints hidden pride flags for people in unaccepting households. I wanted to add gold to the ace flag specifically because there's such a misconception about ace people dull or boring, all over their preference. The gold combats that. I stand with you, friends.

This is really cool! And a great thing to do :] I really like the concept behind the gold and it really just adds that extra splash of interest 👌 November 25, 2020 at 11:26PM

/u/russtbedsprings on My boyfriend says he accepts my asexuality but his behavior doesn't show it. (NSFW)

[[[ "I really don't like your sudden jump to be asexual. Sexual desire is normal and you shouldn't reject your feelings." "See you're not asexual because you are clearly feeling horny right now" Romantic flirting equals horniness how?? ]]] You are in a relationship with a guy that is trying to replace YOUR OWN perceptions on what YOU are feeling with what HE thinks you "should" be thinking or feeling. In other words you are only allowed to feel or think something that he deems to be "right" or he agrees with. This is known as "gaslighting" and it is a common tactic used by bullies/abusive partners. Leave before it gets worse. November 25, 2020 at 11:15PM

/u/Kernel_Pie on why do we not start a sub for agenital people

r/Apothisexual might be what you're looking for. Thats a sub for Aces who are sex repulsed and do not want sexual relationships. November 25, 2020 at 11:09PM

/u/yooooongles on Can people people really look at someone and think (or feel) they want sex?

I can relate to this. The idea of me sleeping with someone else makes me really uneasy. I'm not against the idea of doing other physical things with people, though it's been ages since those feelings have ever been directed at a specific person. I'd rather just have someone to hang out with tbh, lol. I'm open to the chance that this might change when I'm older, but I don't count on it. Remember that sexuality is fluid and just because it changes doesn't mean it's a phase. Your feelings now are as valid as they will be later in life. November 25, 2020 at 11:08PM