Honestly I don't even want to be included in the lgbt community. I'll always be happy to call myself an ally, but my orientation doesn't need to be included to be valid. I wont be any less asexual just because someone says asexuals don't fit in with lgbt. They can do their thing, and we can do our thing and we can all be supportive of eachother without needing to be in the same club. July 02, 2020 at 11:45PM

To some extent, I understand where they're coming from. Being homosexual is punished a lot more severe (on a global scale) than being asexual. At the same time, I can't help but disagree with the condition that in order to be part of the lgbtq+ community you have to be suffering death penalty or hate crimes. Asexuals suffer too, just in a different way than other members of the community. It might not be as severe, but we're suffering. It's so hard to wrap your head around a construct you can't understand but it being thrown in your face through media and social environments. You can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with you, in fact you'll be told there's something wrong with you for not wanting something you clearly should. I can't help but wonder how comparing our pain is bringing us any further. Isn't the goal of the lgbtq+ community to create a safe space for everyone that's different from our heteronormative society? H

The onus is on allies to educate themselves, not on us to educate them. I appreciate allies, and I appreciate that they want to learn. I especially appreciate members of the LGBT+ community who have the patience, knowledge, and eloquence to educate others. I only speak for myself when I say that I'm tired of putting energy into people who haven't learned what the IA stands for. I'm happy to talk to allies who have already put some effort in, but my bar is somewhere above knowing that ace is included in LGBT+. I wouldn't answer that question from an internet stranger I wasn't even having a conversation with, and I don't think it should be expected. July 02, 2020 at 11:40PM

Yesss to all of that! Sometimes I think I would soon have exploded from all the conflicting influences. July 02, 2020 at 11:40PM

There is no norm/standard amount or frequency for having crushes. Everyone is different. I had a constant stream of different crushes as a kid but they never meant anything. As an adult I haven't had a crush in 7ish years but have been in a relationship for over 2. July 02, 2020 at 11:38PM

The first part they are saying that cishet aroaces are not part of the LGBTQ+ community, because they are cishet. (Basically they are saying that aros and aces aren't part of the LGBTQ+ community) July 02, 2020 at 11:35PM

Think we should start an acey facey post trend tbh July 02, 2020 at 11:28PM

The third one I relate to so much, I grew up in a Christian household, I remember been at youth one time, we were discussing sex and our youth leaders were like: "Sometimes it's difficult to abstain when your in the moment" and I immediately thought "That sounds fake, you just don't have sex, it's that simple" That was the first time I realised that I wasn't feeling things the same way as other people were. I was 16. Also, not understanding why celibacy was held in such high regard by the Christian community, because it seemed like the easiest thing to achieve. Similarly not understanding why sex was held in such a high regard by society because it seemed not that big a deal. July 02, 2020 at 11:27PM

i always feel uneasy when people tell me that i’m part of the LBGTQIA+ community, I don’t mind it but sometimes the way people there act makes me think that me being asexual doesn’t count as being part of it or that I don’t quite belong. Telling other members of LGBTQIA+ that i’m asexual makes me nervous, because they either accept us or they don’t depending on the day :/ July 02, 2020 at 11:21PM

oh not my dream by far haha i’m a boring person July 02, 2020 at 11:20PM

Ah yeah I don’t know anything about that. That’s really cool though! I’ll have to look that up July 02, 2020 at 11:18PM

I wish GSM (gender and sexual minorities) had won out over LGBTQIA. Having to enumerate all of the groups under the umbrella isn’t a good system. July 02, 2020 at 11:16PM

At like 15 I identified as both agender and asexual. I grew out of being agender, but didn't grow out of being asexual. Thats how I realized being asexual wasn't something I was just making up to feel special, because then I would have grown out of that as well. July 02, 2020 at 11:16PM

There are some fantasy settings where you can tell the gender difference of dragons, most just have something to do with the head shape or the horns. July 02, 2020 at 11:16PM

garlic bread, but on different plates, in different places- it’s what id pay to see on an only fans July 02, 2020 at 11:15PM

YES ALL THE TIME Specifically about the movie After. The movie has more than a few ahem scenes and well I just didnt feel comfortable watching it so I never did. But when a few of my classmates asked why I'd didnt watch it (they all did) I said that the sex scenes were weird, they said that they arent weird and are a way of symbolizing love. I felt really immature and like a late bloomer. Then there were a few small instances like me feeling uncomfortable when they would describe sex, never understanding overly sexual commercials, porn just being flat out boring and never feeling anything ect ect... July 02, 2020 at 11:13PM

Ah nope! I’m just assuming cuz of the eyelashes July 02, 2020 at 11:13PM

Right, I was just wondering if there was something I missed. July 02, 2020 at 11:12PM

It's a really shitty question. Asexuality is only beginning to get the least bit of mainstream representation. I'd like to hope that it's a question born of ignorance, but I'm in no way denying that it's hurtful and erasing just to ask. Sorry you had to deal with that. July 02, 2020 at 11:11PM

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https://ift.tt/2ZBig7A Submitted July 02, 2020 at 11:47PM https://ift.tt/2ZBig7A

I've (35F) been on a break from dating for a few weeks now. Yes, it's still very early in this process but I can't deny that I'm mentally heading in a particular direction: I just can't be bothered. It could be that I'm burnt out (I've spent the past two years prior to this dating almost non-stop. I've had 3 boyfriends and probably close to 100 dates), but I'm also wondering if it's deeper than that. I'm financially independent/self-sufficient, I'm a divorcee and I have children (so no biological clock), I enjoy my own company, I have hobbies, friends and I love the city I live in. The longer this dating break goes on the more I'm like, 'Why the hell didn't I do this sooner???' As I reflect on the dating I've done I'm realizing that a lot of it boiled down to two things: Frantically chasing my 'happy ending' after a painful divorce. Wanting sex. As time goes on that first point becomes less valid b