no May 09, 2021 at 12:02AM

They also listed ‘intellectuals’ as a turnoff so just a questionable person all around lol May 09, 2021 at 12:00AM

Honestly? I kinda think (some/many?) people expect asexual people do not give a shit about their appearance, (especially when it's a man's expectations towards an asexual feminine person, bc het-normative patriarchy) with the logic being "Why would you want to be attractive (look good) if you're not trying to attract anyone", and we're generally expected to have [[virgin vibes]]. We, uh, live in a society May 09, 2021 at 12:00AM

Different kinds of attraction: Aesthetic: They look beautiful. Romantic: They make my heart beat faster thinking about doing nice things for them to make them happy. Sensual: I want to touch and be touched by them. Sexual: I want to take off their clothes and... Libido isn't directed at someone. It's just an overall desire for sexual release of some kind. Some sex repulsed asexuals have high libido and it annoys them. Asexuality is very specifically about not experiencing sexual attraction towards others. That's the entire deal. If you don't experience sexual attraction towards others, you're asexual. It's not all that complicated, really. It doesn't matter why. Could be trauma, hormones, or you were just always that way. Cause is irrelevant to the label. Asexuality has nothing to do with: romantic attraction, kissing, cuddling, gender preferences, masturbation, porn, kinks, or actually having sex. It's just about sexual attraction towards othe...

True. May 08, 2021 at 11:56PM

Real aces carry mini dragons in their shirt pocket May 08, 2021 at 11:56PM

I need that dress though May 08, 2021 at 11:55PM

I'm super romantic in terms of romantic attraction but I'm not romantic in terms of gifting or stuff like that. I love cuddles, kisses, touching, watching movies, playing games together. My husband (also ace) is an exceptional gift maker, surprises me with cake every now and then and sometimes just gets up from his desk to come over to tell me, he loves me and goes back. We'll fight you over the title of most alloromantic person :-P May 08, 2021 at 11:55PM

Demisexuality is not feeling sexual attraction until you have formed a close bond with someone, and based on the info you provided it sounds like you have never experienced sexual attraction. Regarding depression, only a professional can help with that but depression is characterized by lack of happiness so maybe look into asking a doctor about that? Asexuals can have sex, and many do have sex for their partners, but they just do not feel sexual attraction. Asexuality has nothing to do with arousal, libido, watching porn, liking kissing, wanting a romantic relationship, etc. it is just the lack of sexual attraction. To me it sounds like you are sex neutral ace, but only you can say what your sexuality is. The faq on this sub is very informational along with the faq on [AVEN](asexuality.org), both were very helpful to me. May 08, 2021 at 11:52PM

Thank you, I will order one right now May 08, 2021 at 11:50PM

I have to disagree. I think that the stereotypes have caused far more harm than good. It makes people act unnatural in order to "fit in" with their group. It also makes people think that they aren't part of the group because they don't fit the stereotype. Part of toxic masculinity is the rejection of anything that might "seem gay". It has caused people to reject healthy parts of masculinity to avoid a stereotype, which has ended up causing serious damage. There are better ways to help people learn that communities exist, like simply by having balanced representation in media. Stereotypes are a horrible way to educate people about communities. May 08, 2021 at 11:49PM

No, you got it right, I thought it was just an internal like, "yeah, I get" type of laughter more than an actual audible laughter. May 08, 2021 at 11:47PM

I think a lot of "late bloomers" might have had the same experience. I was very early on interested in the romantic part of a relationship while most of my friends found their partner in their mid-twenties. The "matchmaking" part was always awful but I did pair people mentally all the time. I still do but now I call it shipping and do it to fictional characters ;-) May 08, 2021 at 11:45PM

That's, even worse then knowing the stereotype(s) because of the fact you can't defend yourself in a conversation when you don't even know what, or why something is being said of you. May 08, 2021 at 11:45PM

What even is the stereotype? I get told this sometimes and the person never elaborates, like do they just say it because they don't know what an ace person looks like and are using the same type of phrase as 'you don't look gay' as a cover?? May 08, 2021 at 11:44PM

I’ve bought a few of the DMSE Pride flags from Amazon including ace and enby flags and the purple is great. Haven’t faded in daily bright sunshine either. May 08, 2021 at 11:42PM

I mean, okay, this wasn't meant to be a harmful thing, this was actually quite the opposite, it's more to look at the absurdity of them. They are generalizations after all, and those well yes, in nature aren't necessarily good, are fun to look at and laugh at because of the well, the silliness of said things. And as I did say to another person, they can be a good thing in certain regards of actually just pointing out a community's existence. No, I don't think they're good for the people who don't do any research and just accept the stereotypes at face value. But they are good for people to actually learn about any sexuality, or anything that could have a stereotype assigned to it. This can help a person find a sexuality, or even just a new concept that they haven't explored. Again, no, I don't think that every homosexual man is flamboyant, and every homosexual woman is a lumberjack. But the concept of people coming in contact with a stereotype, the...

Well that's unfortunate because as a community we shouldn't be adding more fuel to that stigma that's already perceived about aces. I personally have no clinical issues and it makes me uncomfortable to be asked if I have issues when trying to join an ace community. I guess I'm just going to accept that it is what it is and deal with the questions as they come. May 08, 2021 at 11:37PM

If almost every cop is racist, then why is there litterally zero racist cops in my town? Im aware that there are racist cops, but what im saying is that the cops who aren’t racist are also having to deal with the backlash of the riats. Black lives matter movement has been dealt with so terriblly, so now cops are gonna feel the need to be more on guard, and what comes to mind when i hear blm is basically just riats now, black people do matter, but now the fraze, Black Lives Matter, has just as bad of a name as the racist cops. If people had dealt with the issue in a professional setting, it would have turned out way better than it did, people saying all lives matter aren’t excluding black people, their seperating themselves from the riats and death that was caused bye the BLM movement, sure some people did peaceful protests, but it’s mostly been tainted by the non peaceful things that people thought was “ok” because they where “doing it for black people” May 08, 2021 at 11:36PM

What does ace look like! Like... May 08, 2021 at 11:34PM

Walking around with garlic bread in one hand and a slice of cake in the other one? May 08, 2021 at 11:34PM

I mean I got aspd so technically I got some issue, but most this subreddit seems to have some issue in my opinion. May 08, 2021 at 11:29PM

Aww, thank you! May 08, 2021 at 11:27PM