Omg. First of all, I’m so sorry that you were crying in your car 🥺😭 you’re so brave for going on a date with a stranger. I would be terrified to be that vulnerable... I’m 22 and WOW has dating been such a nonexistent thing in my life because I don’t even know where to start. I’ve only ever been in love with one person, my best friend (now I’m questioning if I’m demiromantic as well), who is demisexual and we could never work out bc she would basically want to have sex with me a lot of we dated... this had, and still has, me heartbroken. She has romantic feelings for me but the no-sex condition is literally a deal breaker... I feel like it’s so fuckin hard to find someone to love me without having sex with me and honestly it hurts to think about it but it’s the reality ace romantics face. HOWEVER, I do still have hope for my romantic life because I want to believe that there is someone out there for me who will meet those conditions. You are definitely not alone :( June 25, 202

True, I didn't notice, but they're still great regardless June 25, 2020 at 11:53PM

I only wish I had grey beads to make it complete, but it works. June 25, 2020 at 11:52PM

Those are very cute! June 25, 2020 at 11:50PM

Could you do an update afterwards? June 25, 2020 at 11:49PM

You sound like a ace who just want a queer platonic relationship. Also she sounds like a shitty therapist June 25, 2020 at 11:47PM

I’m in my 30s and I go through this once every six months. It’s an interesting temperature check, because identities can always shift and change. I always come out the other end Ace. :) June 25, 2020 at 11:47PM

What helped me find clarity and come to the conclusion that I'm grey ace was realizing that I'm not sexually attracted to other people, regardless of the fluctuations in my libido or how much I enjoy or don't enjoy the actual act of having sex. I don't understand what it's like to look at someone and want to have sex with them even when my libido is thriving or if I've got a partner that I enjoy having sex with, with VERY limited exception. There's no definitive test for asexuality, but could be something to factor into your self-reflection if you think it's helpful! June 25, 2020 at 11:47PM

Why is this a book? This shit is absolutely horrible and doesn't even stay with the same characters... June 25, 2020 at 11:45PM

This is the same logic I applied to myself for years and after four years of forcing myself to have sex with partners I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm definitely sex repulsed and always have been fml. June 25, 2020 at 11:42PM

Thanks for posting this. I’m a romantic ace myself and it took me a long time to come to terms with my identity, and this is my first pride I’m able to celebrate since I “came out” so to speak. I do like the idea of having a boyfriend and a life partner, and while I have been on dating sites here and there lately, I’m not in any rush to start anything June 25, 2020 at 11:42PM

First off, I want to say that you’re so strong for going through such negative things and being able to grow and love yourself and other people even more, and to cut that negative shit out of your life! You’re awesome! June 25, 2020 at 11:42PM

I think you might be confusing romantic attraction with sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is the desire to have sex with someone. Take me for example. I haven't had a sexual attraction to anyone since middle school, and even then it was a hormonal thing. I have had sex, though, against my better judgement. But I am completely sex repulsed. June 25, 2020 at 11:40PM

nagoski also emphasizes in this video (rape tw) that sexual response, up to and including orgasm, is not a reliable indicator of what a person "really wanted" deep down, so this poster did a great job of missing the point, just truly spectacular June 25, 2020 at 11:36PM

My experience was basically exactly like yours (minus friends making fun of me by acting childish). I only ever tried to put a tampon in once and I was like nope nope NoPe NooooPE! And haven't used it since haha. I personally like using pads cause you can see exactly how much you're bleeding whereas a tampon you don't really know until you take it out. The only thing I felt bad about was how wasteful pads and tampons were. So a couple years ago I switched to using reusable pads. Some people may think it's gross to have to wash your own blood out of something every month but because it's my own blood I don't have an issue with it and I've probably stoped hundreds of pads from going into landfills since I made the change to reusable pads in 2017. The brand I bought from is called Hannahpad. Also, if you plan on buying from them wait until they have a big sale. You can save a bundle! June 25, 2020 at 11:35PM

I'm a bit confused. If someone finds sex repulsive, disgusting, etc then presumably they wouldn't fantasize about it, right? Being attracted to someone doesn't mean that you'd fantasize about having sex with them, if I'm not mistaken. It just means that you feel emotions of attractions directed at them. June 25, 2020 at 11:33PM

I am a woman and can confirm. It’s wrong on every level. June 25, 2020 at 11:32PM

Happy cake day June 25, 2020 at 11:32PM

Your feelings are completely valid :) anyone who does not feel sexual attraction falls under the asexual spectrum. From what you said, it seems like you might be aegosexual since you do get aroused by porn/sexy things in media (you did not specify, but I personally get aroused by these things sometimes) but cannot imagine yourself in those situations. You simply like the idea of it as a whole, with yourself removed. Hope that gives you some clarity. June 25, 2020 at 11:31PM

Totally. I identified as asexual ever since I was in high school. Plus puberty is the time when people figure out their identities. June 25, 2020 at 11:28PM

My entire life! :D June 25, 2020 at 11:26PM

Nobody likes rejection, especially in a marriage. I've been with my spouse for almost 15 years and it's never easy for the other party. Although today, I realized I tend to handle it better than she does and it got me wondering if that's the case for most? I generally don't bring up the issue until it's happened a few times, but I've noticed that she loses her mind if I reject her just once. Submitted June 25, 2020 at 11:48PM Nobody likes rejection, especially in a marriage. I've been with my spouse for almost 15 years and it's never easy for the other party. Although today, I realized I tend to handle it better than she does and it got me wondering if that's the case for most? I generally don't bring up the issue until it's happened a few times, but I've noticed that she loses her mind if I reject her just once.

https://ift.tt/31ojvK9 Submitted June 25, 2020 at 11:52PM https://ift.tt/31ojvK9