Hi l’m autistic (M22) Not sure if this the right place but: I have tried dating apps one off for the 2 years now but they’ve never worked for me. I’m honest about my autism from the start but this seems to be a turn off. I also don’t seem to be getting the right people,I have tried to engage in conversation with the girls who I’ve matched but After I say hi nothing happens. I have ha a relationship with a girl before but it wasn’t serious and she totally knocked my confidence into a downward spiral and I found myself in a position where I find it easier to taklk to older people. Am I doing something wrong? Are there any suggestions out there that avoid dating apps and clubbing? (I’m also tee-total) Submitted December 10, 2020 at 11:43PM Hi l’m autistic (M22)Not sure if this the right place but:I have tried dating apps one off for the 2 years now but they’ve never worked for me.I’m honest about my autism from the start but this seems to be a turn off.I also don’t seem to b...

I am (28) and he’s (31) we had date one where it went really well and he felt we connected on many levels, he’s a perfect gentlemen. Walked me home and made the second date picking a time and day right there. Gives me a long hug and when he looked at me I felt that spark of “he wants to kiss me” (you know the spark) but he didn’t. He texts me immediately that night and he said “not gonna lie...I wanted to hang out with you longer” and so he proceeded to text me. He keeps communication every day until our next date and Our second date he took me to this nice restaurant and once again was super sweet, conversation flowed but he made it known he was trying to impress me and wanted to know how he could impress me more. I told him this “Just be yourself. Ive had guys in the past who tried to be something they thought I wanted them to be and it only made me less interested bc they didn’t give me a chance to get to know who they really are. And Having lavish expensive dates won’t mean anyth...

I met a girl about a week ago and we’ve been talking since. We haven’t been able to actually go out because everything in our area is shut back down, and more restrictions are coming by Monday. She works at Panera Bread attached to Target, and she told me to come by and chat with her and hangout while she works. I’ve done it a couple of times and I usually stay for about 45 minutes before it’s about that time to leave. We don’t really have any other option to go out right now other than McDonald’s or similar. Should I take her up on her offer to come chat at her workplace? I only come because I actually need to shop at the Target, not just to see her. It’s about 4 minute drive from my house. Submitted December 10, 2020 at 11:50PM I met a girl about a week ago and we’ve been talking since. We haven’t been able to actually go out because everything in our area is shut back down, and more restrictions are coming by Monday. She works at Panera Bread attached to Target, and she told ...

I (F/30) am in a new relationship (started talking in the summer) with a man (M/39) and we are currently long-distance, seeing each other every 2-3 weeks usually. Even though I’m not all that young, I feel new to dating and navigating a lot of this stuff because my last relationship was a decade-long marriage to my first boyfriend. Also, it left me having some confidence issues which my new guy is aware of, but I try not to make it a big deal. He’s incredibly kind though and has always made me feel good. Anyways, we typically have nice, long phone calls but don’t text much and thus far, nothing particularly “sexy” has come up. Irl we have amazing chemistry and sex, but so far it just hasn’t translated into anything on the phone. In general, he has a more traditional personality, but I know at the end of the day he’s still a man who probably would enjoy some flirty pics! Well recently we were making some jokes and it morphed into a request for a “sexy selfie”... I said that I’m game, ...

Men of reddit, what's some advice you'd like to give to women? Submitted December 11, 2020 at 12:01AM Men of reddit, what's some advice you'd like to give to women?

I've spent so much time on tinder and so many other dating apps since I got out of my last relationship during the pandemic. I'm so lonely and would prefer to meet people organically but you kinda can't because of social distancing. I want to learn how to focus on other things like hobbies but I'm kind of addicted to the instant gratification that comes with getting matches/messages. The worst part is I rarely even respond to any of them. Does anyone have any tips on how to break the cycle of dating apps? I find myself also deleting it and then getting it right back when I'm bored. Ideally, I would want to focus on traveling or other things I enjoy but covid has put a real damper on those kinds of activities. Submitted December 11, 2020 at 12:02AM I've spent so much time on tinder and so many other dating apps since I got out of my last relationship during the pandemic. I'm so lonely and would prefer to meet people organically but you kinda can't ...

Not really. I'm very shy and would never have to courage to do it. My case is special and it was the first time I've ever asked anyone out sorry. December 11, 2020 at 12:06AM

Thank you, I really appreciate it. I don't suppose you have any tips on how to get the courage or how to do it? December 11, 2020 at 12:04AM

I'm a bit of a difficult ace. I am asexual. I am sex positive (though slightly repulsed). I do not feel anything from piv, oral, clitoral or nipple stimulation, etc. I feel nothing. It's made it very difficult for me to accept myself or find a partner who accepts me. But still, I am in a sexually active relationship. It's far from a normal one, I am the dominant one, my bf is sub. Our sex does not involve me being touched unless I specifically tell him to which is rare. It is entirely based around things I do to him. It works for me though. I enjoy it. Of course I don't orgasm from it but that doesn't matter to me. Just enjoying what we do means so much, because I went through so much pain thinking/trying to accept that I'm not normal. December 11, 2020 at 12:02AM

Go for it. Even if the feelings aren't mutual that shouldn't affect your friendship to much. You are friends for a reason you guys had to have had something in common to get along. Sure it may be awkward for a little bit but thats to be expected. If she says yes then you guys need to have a conversation about boundaries and what you are ok with. December 11, 2020 at 12:01AM

You can identify with whichever label you think best suits you at the time. If at this age you’d feel most comfortable identifying as aromantic asexual by all means do so, you may find that label needs changing later on as you find yourself, or find it suited you perfectly. For now, use what you think is comfortable. And as a side note, I think it’s rather odd to refer to pubescents (~10-17 year olds) as frigid, that word has a lot of societal weight to it I think is completely inappropriate to use to describe someone. And finally as a fellow high-functioning autistic, I will admit comprehending the emotions of feelings, or even lack thereof, are incredibly confusing. Just do what you’re comfortable with, and don’t let others decide for you (with regards to your emotions and sexual identity). December 10, 2020 at 11:58PM

That’s a really good idea! I don’t know a lot of famous aroaces, the only one that comes to mind for me is Yasmin Benoit. I’ll definitely send my mom her insta when I come out!! December 10, 2020 at 11:55PM

First of all, what are you talking about, "frigid"? We are in the twenty first century, there is no set goal for how touchy or sexual you have to be. You don't have to call yourself frigid for being comfortable. Secondly, 13 could be rather young to know much about your sexuality, most people aren't done with puberty yet, and that's when a lot of sexual or romantic tendencies can arise. However, a sexual identity isn't something that is static- if you feel asexual now, then you identify with that term right now. If in a few years your biochemistry changes, then you will identify with another term. In the end, they are words used to describe something more fluid and complicated than any one word. As for the connection between your autism and your sexuality, there is a lot of reading on the topic. I'm no expert at all on this, but I can understand that not being comfortable with touch could be misconstrued with not knowing if you feel sexual/romantic/phy...

I would at least expect such labels to follow the Greek prefix + Latin suffix rule. Arem- and booklo- meaning? December 10, 2020 at 11:48PM

Like im 98% sure my brother knows im not straight. But i don't know how to tell him... December 10, 2020 at 11:48PM

You know people forget that captain America is technically trans December 10, 2020 at 11:46PM

When she talks about famous lesbians change the subject to famous aroaces. It might throw her for a loop for a bit but she seems like she is trying to connect with you. She might look up these individuals and it could be easier for her to go through the stages of disbelief about asexuality with someone who is not you. December 10, 2020 at 11:42PM

"While you were busy experiencing attractio, I STUDIED THE GUN!" December 10, 2020 at 11:39PM

I know this is mostly a meme, but if this headline genuinely worried anyone, don't bother. Not only is the article obvious meme-tier clickbait, but they can't even read the paper right. If you read the actual paper what it says is the opposite: Episodic physical and sexual activity were associated with an increase in the risk of MI (RR=3.45; 95% confidence interval [CI], 2.33-5.13, and RR=2.70; 95% CI, 1.48-4.91, respectively). Episodic physical activity was associated with SCD (RR=4.98; 95% CI, 1.47-16.91). Habitual activity levels significantly affected the association of episodic physical activity and MI (P.001), episodic physical activity and SCD (P.001), and sexual activity and MI (P=.04); in all cases, individuals with lower habitual activity levels had an increased RR for the triggering effect. For every additional time per week an individual was habitually exposed to physical activity, the RR for MI decreased by approximately 45%, and the RR for SCD decreased by ...

I'm acesexual. I want to not sex other aces. December 10, 2020 at 11:26PM

The way I would answer that question is this: Imagine all of the fun moments (not sex), deep conversations, genuine moments when you see someone you love doing something they love and that smile on their face just melts your heart. If sex was out of the picture, would all of the moments mean nothing? I can have nice moments with friends but there's just a different with feeling with someone you're interested in. As someone who doesn't mind physical touch, I don't want to kiss or cuddle my friends but that's just me. Also I just tell people that sex isn't necessarily intimate or an emotional way to connect for everyone. Everyone's different. December 10, 2020 at 11:18PM

A lot of allos say it's because they feel it's emotionally connecting. Like being comfortable with each other to explore each other's bodies and being in that vulnerable state. Personally it's not emotionally connecting for me, but I try my best to explain my mindset on my own personal feelings on sex. What's irritating is when people try to invalidate anyone who doesn't love and desire sex. Pretty shitty. December 10, 2020 at 11:15PM

This is neat! December 10, 2020 at 11:07PM