Yeah! I'm aro and ace but I love to cuddle and I can definitely be sensually attracted to people. March 27, 2020 at 11:59PM

Ah alright. Thanks for clarifying. March 27, 2020 at 11:51PM

I was taught that men were visual and women were emotional so women had to dress modestly so men wouldn't be "led into sin" by women exposing their bodies. Men could walk around with their shirts off because women didn't feel lust just by looking at a man the way men did when looking at a woman. There were also tons of bible verses talking about men committing sexual sins but very few about women. Not only is this a really messed up double standard that leads to blaming women for a man's lack of self control, it also meant I didn't realize how many sexual feelings most women experience. I just assumed all women were like me, neutral about sex, not feeling sexual attraction and just cruising through life without sex ever really crossing my mind. I was at a state college before I realized how sexual most people, regardless of gender, actually were. March 27, 2020 at 11:49PM

No no no. Also aroace but aesthetic is purely visual (e.g. that person looks nice and is pleasing to the eye) whereas romantic is all of that cuddling, kissing, butterflies in your tummy whatever March 27, 2020 at 11:45PM

My brain isn’t working well enough today for a detailed explanation but: Romantic - I want to be in relationship with you. I enjoy the thought and I might try to make it happen. Aesthetic - I like the way you look. End statement. March 27, 2020 at 11:44PM

I'm full AroAce so take this with a grain of salt, but I believe that Romantic is hugging and kissing while aesthetic is more of cuddling and just being together with someone. March 27, 2020 at 11:42PM

This probably isnt the most helpful answer to your question, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone with that doubt. I'm also sixteen (f) and this is actually the one thing that really makes me unsure about being asexual. I know of some kids in my year that have had sex already and a few who I wouldnt be surprised if they did, and I'm constantly asking myself if they're just early or if I'm just late with this stuff. When my friends talk about how hot certain celebrities or similar people are, I cant tell if they're joking or really mean it in the "I would have sex with them" way. I struggle with that so much that I'm not yet comfortable enough to come out as ace to anyone, but the amazing support of the ace community at least gives me enough confidence to talk about asexuality on the internet. Most people here will say that either it's never too early or that sixteen is definitely enough, and that helps me a lot. Stay healthy out...

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Last year I met this guy and we hit it off great. We had fun, for the first few months. We started to grow a little closer and spoke about how we felt. But randomly the messages pretty much stopped, he would agree to plans and say he’d let me know and then I wouldn’t hear from him. Yet he was posting photos of other girls and I would see him out with other girls. A few times I saw him out at night we were both with groups of friends and he would come over and try and kiss me etc/want me to go home with him. I explained I felt upset that he was trying to be all over me now but hasn’t tried to see me in about a month. He said he was sorry, work had been busy and he would text me to organise something. Never did. So I stopped messaging and we just stopped talking. I was really upset because I really liked the guy and it felt like it was going to be different. But looking back now, I hardly know him really and our dates were never legit (we only went out drinking and then to his place, o...

my boyfriend (22M) has a best friend who does drugs ALL the time. This guy is a good guy, I mean he’s pretty funny to talk to. He is really laid back and your typical stoner dude. But, he does drugs around my bf (when he hosts house parties) He talks about drugs to my bf, saying shit like “man I tried ____ and it was so good” and my bf is like “wow good for you man” and all this crap. Anyways, I don’t really care about their friendship, I mean this guy has helped my bf when he was in depression. I am just incredibly anti-drugs and if I ever caught my bf doing them I’d probably lose my shit. He’s in college and he’s thriving, happier than ever and I don’t want him to get stuck in that drug loophole. We’ve talked about this and he said that he’d never touch drugs let alone try them. But whenever he hangs around with this guy I get extreme anxiety and I feel helpless. I don’t know but it’s a really awful feeling. I suppose the question is, how do I lessen my anxiety over this? How do ...

So I (M21) met a wonderful girl at our place of work (F19), I’ve always been a quiet and shy one around women due to a variety of factors like low self esteem and having my heart broken by a previous relationship. So I work up the courage to text her one night and and found out that the feelings that I had for her were mutual, may I say I was over the moon about this news. So I’m a pretty old fashioned guy I began a formal courtship and did all the nice things ( opening that truck door, and just general respect that she deserves). So we began dating and let me tell you it was the happiest I have ever been, it was always easy with her nothing was forced if that makes sense it all just happened naturally. Her family loves me and I was told by both parents that I was family I was expected to be a family dinners and the like. She always looked for reassurance like asking if I was happy and still liked her and I always answered with a “well yes of course babe” and a kiss on the forehead. S...

Hey guys, just wanted to pour out some emotions tonight. Exactly a month ago today I broke off an over four and a half year relationship with my boyfriend. We had what most people would consider a “perfect” relationship. We never argued, he was always supportive of me, gave me his unconditional love, but for some reason I always felt like there was something missing. I kept having doubts but I always pushed them away because I felt like I was probably overthinking it. But last month it finally got to the point where I wasn’t even sure if I loved him anymore, so I broke it off. Honestly it still hurts knowing that we’re no longer together and that the future we had planned out is now gone. I wonder if I’ll ever find someone who is as caring as he was or if I’ll ever allow myself to get that close to someone else again. If any of you guys have gone through something similar, how did you manage? Submitted March 28, 2020 at 12:11AM Hey guys, just wanted to pour out some emotions t...

My boyfriend and I have been together for just under a year. We usually see each other a couple of times a week, and we've never been the "constantly texting" kind of couple, we both like our space to an extent. I've been self-quarantining for two weeks and haven't seen him in that time. We've had a couple of phone calls/a FaceTime, but for the last week or so he's been "limiting his phone time", which he says has been great for his mental health, and hasn't really texted me unprompted at all, and his replies to my texts have been pretty short and to the point. (At one point I sent him a nude and he barely responded, and didn't offer any kind of compliment or validation). I'm struggling with this because I feel like I've made an effort to check in on him (asking how he's doing, what he's been up to, how his day was, etc), and he hasn't done that as much for me. I feel like we should be texting each other MORE right n...

My last related post had a summary of what basically happened in our relationship. If you don’t wanna bother reading it, I (23F) was in a very toxic relationship (24M) and I was in it way longer than I should have been. After receiving responses with majority telling me to end it, my foolish self was still considering staying with this person until it finally took a family member involved to come to my senses. A few days ago, I uploaded a selfie on IG and he got angry about another guy commenting under my picture, not knowing it was my step dad. He told him to get off my page, and as soon I saw his comment I took a screenshot, disabled the comments and blocked him. I called my now ex and cursed him out, telling him he was dead wrong for coming at my family like that, and I’ll never let him get away with it. I felt so sick, I talked with my step dad about the situation and agreed I did the right thing to stand up for him and end the relationship. I know I’m doing everything for the ...

TLDR; Ex GF slept with someone while we were on a break and lied about it when coming out. I found out by looking at her texts. So we've been together for approximately 4 years. I'm 23 and she's 25. Before we got together she'd also been in a long-term relationship, so I was her 2nd sexual partner. Around Christmas time this winter we started to experience some difficulties, which peaked in January. Unfortunately, but of us were going to different countries (Netherland and Germany) as exchange students for this semester in February, which means we didn't get the opportunity to fix things either - so we met, talked, and agreed that the best thing would be to break up for the time being, and take a look at our situation with fresh eyes when we got back to Norway in July. We've had contact daily this whole time with FB messenger and calls. We've been friends for years before we got together, so it seemed logical to stay in touch. Her weeks in Netherland was...

I have a crippling case of Retroactive Jealousy and I’m addicted Tl;dr at end. : I 32F and partner 36F I’ve come to realize I had a strong case of retroactive jealousy. Meaning I have intense jealousy about my partners previous relationships. I’ve done this in every relationship I’ve every been in. I could tell you the name of every single ex my partner has had, know what they look like, have poured over their social media accounts, etc. And I could do this for every relationship I’ve been in. It has nothing to do with my actual partner, I’ve done it with every partner I’ve had. I’m desperate to know, “what really happened” and “get to the bottom of it”. “Was she better in bed?” , “did you love her”, “did you think she was attractive”. My favourite thing would be to find an inconsistency in her story. Or even better, find a pic of them together on a social site. Once I have all the info, and seen all the pictures, I imagine a constructed relationship between them. It stings bc th...

Throwaway because he has my other reddit account. We started off as friends in freshman year of highschool, then best friends in sophomore year. Mid sophomore year we started dating and we really like each other and dated until the end of senior year. Of course, real life doesnt play out the way we want them too and we went off to different colleges and had different goals in life but we were still dating at this point. He had changed his attitude towards me and became slightly distant. He was always online but never replying to my messages and just felt off when we talked. He asked for a break and I agreed. I asked him if that meant a break up for the time being and he said no, we are still dating, I just need sometime for myself. He had given me a jacket 2 years ago (which meant so much to me and I wore it all the time) but he asked for it back which really really hurt my feelings but I did tough it out and take it head on and realize that all relationships are bound to have some bu...

To give some backstory, my boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks after we first met/our first date. It didn’t strike me as strange, we hit it off, have fun together when we hang out and have a strong attraction for each other. We’re both in uni and he’s a varsity athlete and his parents put a lot of pressure on him with academics and sports. I understand this and respect his hustle, support him when he’s down and try my best to motivate him through the stress. We’ve now been dating for almost two months and red flags are starting to appear. First of all let me preface this by saying we haven’t seen each other in 3 weeks because of Covid-19 and social distancing. We live 1.5 hours away from each other currently but we are planning to see each other soon. During the school year I’m only minutes away from him. We are pretty good on communication (text and snap everyday) and he’s loyal and honest to me. However, lately he’s been snapping at me randomly when I send him a meme ...

The boredom and isolation of being on lockdown recently drove me to create a Bumble account. A couple of days ago, I had a "quarantine date" (aka video chat) with someone I matched with and we hit it off pretty well. The conversation lasted almost 3 hours and she texted me in the morning, saying that we should do that again sometime. So the thing is, that's great and everything but if all we do is just talk over facetime I feel things will get old fast, even if it is somebody new. What are some good virtual date ideas to keep things fun? Those of you in LDRs, what are some examples of "virtual dates" that you guys have done in the past? tl;dr : Signed up for dating app. Had a good conversation with someone. We're both quarantined. Looking for some good "virtual" date ideas Submitted March 28, 2020 at 12:12AM The boredom and isolation of being on lockdown recently drove me to create a Bumble account. A couple of days ago, I had a "qu...

Sorry this is going to be long, Ill try to make it short. My bf and his family have had it rough since his parents have worked so extremely hard to immigrate from the Philippines to the US. Even after coming here, they have personal mental health and family issues such as alcoholism, abuse, his sister leaving (his mom hasnt genuinely laughed in the house since she left a few years ago). They've moved a lot and are unhappy/frustrated with their life since they live in not-the-best apartment and have debts to worry about such as his and his sister's education. I suggest to him they should move to a new place and get better jobs, but asides from the obvious fact that thats easier said than done, he said he's already had every discussion possible with them and they won't because of how financially burdening and stressful it is. They don't have a savings so I suggested we should save up money for a decade for them to move to a new apartment and cover their first two mon...

I 19 (M) have been dating my girlfriend 19(F) for 2 years now. We rarely fight or argue. We seem to get along quite well. But also there are some problems which makes me think that we are not suited for each other. First, I make all the decisions. She is very passive in everything and waits till I decide. It makes me feel like I'm controlling her. Also, when I'm tired she isn't doing anything by herself, she waits till I do something but when I'm tired I would love if she would make the first move. I think that a relationship should be 50/50 but right now it's on my shoulders. Secondly, our intelect doesn't match. She rarely understands my deepest thoughts and our conversations aren't really exciting. It's mostly me sharing what I think, she rarely adds her thoughts or leads a conversation. I actually really enjoy listening but the only time I get to do it with her is when she is dissapointed and uses me as a sponge for her feelings or futile things. Th...