Girlfriends stress possibly led to the demise of our relationship.

So I (M21) met a wonderful girl at our place of work (F19), I’ve always been a quiet and shy one around women due to a variety of factors like low self esteem and having my heart broken by a previous relationship. So I work up the courage to text her one night and and found out that the feelings that I had for her were mutual, may I say I was over the moon about this news. So I’m a pretty old fashioned guy I began a formal courtship and did all the nice things ( opening that truck door, and just general respect that she deserves). So we began dating and let me tell you it was the happiest I have ever been, it was always easy with her nothing was forced if that makes sense it all just happened naturally. Her family loves me and I was told by both parents that I was family I was expected to be a family dinners and the like. She always looked for reassurance like asking if I was happy and still liked her and I always answered with a “well yes of course babe” and a kiss on the forehead. She had previously been in several severely bad relationships that were unfaithful and physically and emotionally/mentally abusive. She always told me that this was the happiest she’s ever been and how happy she was to have me and you know I felt the same way. She began making plans for the future and you know so did I. I looked at going back to school to better myself because she deserves the best version of me that I can give her. She’s a nursing student at our local college and we got together like a week before she started so she had no time to adjust to being in a relationship and going to such a demanding school. The first semester went fine we saw each other several times a week and went out and had fun. The second semester comes around and she was warned that this was going to be that hardest and most stressful semester of the program so I told her that I wanted her to focus on school during the week and we’d see each other on the weekends, she agreed to this and it went well for a few weeks. As she became more stressed because her testing average was very low and her grade was dropping rapidly I began to notice that she would spend more time with friends mostly just riding around and getting drunk than she did with me. And I’m not one of those people that I want her full attention 24/7 because I know how that feels to be forced to chose between friends and you’re S.O. but I felt that I was being pushed to the side in favor of them. So one night I brought it up ( this was a Monday) after she bailed on me and my friends to go with hers and that was fine I just wanted her to know how I felt and she apologized and said she’d fix it and my response was now we’ll fix it. So the rest of the week goes by and on Friday I invited her to go out to dinner and go have some genuine fun because I was off that whole weekend which is rare for me due to my current job. She said the her friends had told her that she had to go with them and ride around and get drunk which I disagreed with for the fact that they are all minors and they were drinking and driving. But I said that’s fine and hoped she would have fun. Well that night she texted me and told me that she missed me and she loved me and all the lovely words she always said to lift my spirits. I told her I felt the same and wanted to see her soon she replied with you’ll see me tomorrow and I ask “ will I though ?) she ask what I meant by that and I told her again anytime we make plans or go to do something her friends find a way to intervene ( not all of them just the two single ones). She reassured me that she didn’t even have plans with them and I would get to see her. The next day comes around she goes to work and I began my day working around the house, and as time for her to get off approached I went in and took a shower and got cleaned up and she got to her home and did the same and then proceeds to go to her friends house. I ask her why her plans were and her response was I’m giving her a present and then going for a walk then nothing and this deeply upset me and she knew it so I went for my own walk to seclude myself and she called me and as soon as I heard her voice I broke down and then so did she so we met and talked and just cried together. She told me her stress was beginning to be too much and she was so confused and she didn’t know what to do and then on top of that she believed that I wanted to get married and have children very soon, which Is far from the truth because neither one of us are in a position to do that. So for four days afterwards I tried to make amends and talk and work things out and she told me that she needed to focus on school. So I took that as the end, well a week passes and I check on her because I was deeply concerned for her and we talked and identified our communication errors and all that. I ask her if she wanted to give us another shot and her reply was “I need to finish this semester without failing, and I know that you’d help in anyway possible but I need to do this myself, but after that I’m down to give it another shot”. I told her that I can respect that and that I’d wait for her to finish this semester and we could pick up where we left off. We talk everyday sometimes not a lot because she’s busy with her school work or in her free time with her friends but there is communication everyday. When we see each other in person she goes out of her way to talk to me about something. Her family still say they love me and that they miss me and talk to me every time they see me as well. The conclusion I’ve drawn from this is that her school stress consumed her and she began to over think our situation and that is what led to our demise. I’m sorry this is a long one but any advise would be much appreciated.

Submitted March 28, 2020 at 12:10AM

So I (M21) met a wonderful girl at our place of work (F19), I’ve always been a quiet and shy one around women due to a variety of factors like low self esteem and having my heart broken by a previous relationship. So I work up the courage to text her one night and and found out that the feelings that I had for her were mutual, may I say I was over the moon about this news. So I’m a pretty old fashioned guy I began a formal courtship and did all the nice things ( opening that truck door, and just general respect that she deserves). So we began dating and let me tell you it was the happiest I have ever been, it was always easy with her nothing was forced if that makes sense it all just happened naturally. Her family loves me and I was told by both parents that I was family I was expected to be a family dinners and the like. She always looked for reassurance like asking if I was happy and still liked her and I always answered with a “well yes of course babe” and a kiss on the forehead. She had previously been in several severely bad relationships that were unfaithful and physically and emotionally/mentally abusive. She always told me that this was the happiest she’s ever been and how happy she was to have me and you know I felt the same way. She began making plans for the future and you know so did I. I looked at going back to school to better myself because she deserves the best version of me that I can give her. She’s a nursing student at our local college and we got together like a week before she started so she had no time to adjust to being in a relationship and going to such a demanding school. The first semester went fine we saw each other several times a week and went out and had fun. The second semester comes around and she was warned that this was going to be that hardest and most stressful semester of the program so I told her that I wanted her to focus on school during the week and we’d see each other on the weekends, she agreed to this and it went well for a few weeks. As she became more stressed because her testing average was very low and her grade was dropping rapidly I began to notice that she would spend more time with friends mostly just riding around and getting drunk than she did with me. And I’m not one of those people that I want her full attention 24/7 because I know how that feels to be forced to chose between friends and you’re S.O. but I felt that I was being pushed to the side in favor of them. So one night I brought it up ( this was a Monday) after she bailed on me and my friends to go with hers and that was fine I just wanted her to know how I felt and she apologized and said she’d fix it and my response was now we’ll fix it. So the rest of the week goes by and on Friday I invited her to go out to dinner and go have some genuine fun because I was off that whole weekend which is rare for me due to my current job. She said the her friends had told her that she had to go with them and ride around and get drunk which I disagreed with for the fact that they are all minors and they were drinking and driving. But I said that’s fine and hoped she would have fun. Well that night she texted me and told me that she missed me and she loved me and all the lovely words she always said to lift my spirits. I told her I felt the same and wanted to see her soon she replied with you’ll see me tomorrow and I ask “ will I though ?) she ask what I meant by that and I told her again anytime we make plans or go to do something her friends find a way to intervene ( not all of them just the two single ones). She reassured me that she didn’t even have plans with them and I would get to see her. The next day comes around she goes to work and I began my day working around the house, and as time for her to get off approached I went in and took a shower and got cleaned up and she got to her home and did the same and then proceeds to go to her friends house. I ask her why her plans were and her response was I’m giving her a present and then going for a walk then nothing and this deeply upset me and she knew it so I went for my own walk to seclude myself and she called me and as soon as I heard her voice I broke down and then so did she so we met and talked and just cried together. She told me her stress was beginning to be too much and she was so confused and she didn’t know what to do and then on top of that she believed that I wanted to get married and have children very soon, which Is far from the truth because neither one of us are in a position to do that. So for four days afterwards I tried to make amends and talk and work things out and she told me that she needed to focus on school. So I took that as the end, well a week passes and I check on her because I was deeply concerned for her and we talked and identified our communication errors and all that. I ask her if she wanted to give us another shot and her reply was “I need to finish this semester without failing, and I know that you’d help in anyway possible but I need to do this myself, but after that I’m down to give it another shot”. I told her that I can respect that and that I’d wait for her to finish this semester and we could pick up where we left off. We talk everyday sometimes not a lot because she’s busy with her school work or in her free time with her friends but there is communication everyday. When we see each other in person she goes out of her way to talk to me about something. Her family still say they love me and that they miss me and talk to me every time they see me as well. The conclusion I’ve drawn from this is that her school stress consumed her and she began to over think our situation and that is what led to our demise. I’m sorry this is a long one but any advise would be much appreciated.