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Showing posts from April 8, 2019

m25] scared to open up more to my [20F] girlfriend.

I have a fear that opening up might seem weak and it feels like most women maybe are unattracted to guys who aren't always confident? I'm wondering if anyone out there has experienced something like that, and I'm maybe wondering if its just a toxic thought to have. I always want to be myself for her, but I keep worrying that if I show weakness or seem stressed and anxious about something it may come off as me not being strong enough to handle things ​ tl;dr: Scared to open up to girlfriend, what are your thoughts? *both genders would be interesting*. Thank you. Submitted April 08, 2019 at 05:38AM I have a fear that opening up might seem weak and it feels like most women maybe are unattracted to guys who aren't always confident? I'm wondering if anyone out there has experienced something like that, and I'm maybe wondering if its just a toxic thought to have. I always want to be myself for her, but I keep worrying that if I show weakness or seem stressed ...

My (30F) son’s (1M) grandparents have no idea he exists, should I contact them?

My son’s father left me while I was pregnant. His family has absolutely no idea my son exists. I begged him to tell them while I was pregnant so they could have a relationship with our son, but he refused. He also has 2 other children, 7 & 9 years old. His family is very sweet, was always very welcoming and felt like family whenever they’d come to town to visit. Would it be wrong for me to contact them to invite them into their grandson’s life? As he’s approaching his first birthday, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with sadness for the situation, and that they could grow old and die without ever knowing their grandson exists. I don’t want money or anything from them but to give them the opportunity to have a relationship with their own flesh and blood. Would this be wrong to contact them? I also feel like it’s worth mentioning my son’s unknowing grandfather had a heart attack a few years back, and I can’t help but wonder if this could cause enough panic and maybe anger to give ...

My (21/F) relationship w my boyfriend (24/M) seems stagnant. How do we get out of the rut?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years now. Of course, the first year was the beautiful honeymoon phase and things settle down by year 3. But being in our early 20s, I'm surprised and saddened to see how rapidly our relationship has declined. Here are some factors that I'm unsure how to address or work around: I have severe self-esteem issues about my body. Most of them pertain to my physical fitness or my level of grooming/shaving. This wasn't an issue in the past because when I was younger, I had more opportunities to work out regularly and my body was just simply better the metabolizing food. Furthermore, I didn't work a 9 to 5 or have the stress of graduating, so I would take hour-long showers every other day and shave and exfoliating and all that jazz. Now, the best I can do is shampoo, condition, and hit the sack. I know, I know, "he doesn't care." But I do care. I wish I didn't, but I do, and it's killing our sex life. H...

I (20M) don't understand how to react to the actions versus words of my close friend (19F)

For context, I'm a college student nearing the end of my Sophomore year. I've known this friend (who we will be referring to as Claire, fake name of course) since the very beginning for Freshman year. I am very very introverted, Claire on the other hand is an ambivert (regains energy when alone but is generally extremely outgoing/social when in social gatherings). ​ bit of a lengthy story (but will definitely include a TL;DR) ​ I met Claire in our orientation, but we didn't really start talking until the school year started. We lived in dorms less than 5 minutes away with each other and also had a shared dining hall between us. Naturally, it was very easy to grab dinner with her multiple days in the week. During freshman year, we became very close, and confided in each other our deepest struggles and the most painful moments in our past. Her parents, like mine, had very conservative/archaic parenting styles and we experienced many similarities in our upbringing, anothe...

How I [29 M] can value myself better in relationships?

This blew my mind when a close friend mentioned it to me. In my career, I have my shit together. I kill at every interview I do. I rack up more offers than I can count. I quickly turn down offers if they don't feel like a good fit. And even when I'm AT a job, if my position changes in a way that I no longer feel like there's a future, I'll immediately tell my manager and tell them to rectify it or I was walking away. Like... this is how I deal with my career and I have no problems and I do fine for myself. My close friend knows this about me and he just asked... "why the hell are you not like this with your relationships?" So.... I am a complete total utter pushover in relationships. Every relationship I've had with a girl (I've only have 2 "REAL" relationships, short-term ones notwithstanding), I always end up just doing whatever she wants. I honestly didn't, and.... still don't really see a problem with it. She wants to eat som...

She (18F) doesn't make attempts to talk to me (19F)

As of last week, I recently told this girl that I liked her, and she told me that she's had a massive crush on me ever since she's met me (in her words), which was ever since November of 2018. I was pretty excited to hear that she liked me back, since this was the first time I'd ever told someone this before. All of this is pretty new to me, essentially, and this is my first time attempting to do this. So, after that was done, we sort of talked it out a bit and I told her that since is my first time in any sort of relationship, I'd like to take things a bit slow. She was understanding and said she'd do whatever I was comfortable with. --------------- Now, to backtrack a little bit, back when we met in November, it was through my friend's group chat. My friend left his laptop out on his desk, and I decided it would be fun to say some jokes and send them in the chat to see how his friends would respond. Eventually they figured out it wasn't him, and though...

I'm (24F) considering breaking up with my gf (25F) of 10 years over our mixed sexuality

I posted this to AITA too, but they recommended I get some advice here. I am 24F currently dating a 25F. We've been dating for almost 10 years at this point but one of the things that has plagued me for far too many years now is our mixed sexuality. I am asexual and they are bisexual (we're both biromantic). I am also sex negative meaning that I don't like sex at all. The years have been weird. Back before things got really serious, one of the things I've explained to them is that they should feel comfortable dating other people at the same time as me. We were in college and high school. We were likely not to be soulmates. When things got serious and marriage started to not seem insane, I told them that they should feel free not to date people, but have sex with them since they're not having sex with me. They said they'd feel guilty doing that, and they'd rather stay celibate with me, then go and have sex with other people. To her, it's not like befo...

[TX] My (37M) mother cracked the family safe while I was living and working out of state and sold my entire firearms, comic book, and baseball card collections for nothing

I was living out of state, working, doing my own thing. I came back to my family home to find that my mother (74) had completely lost it. There was mold in the house, no food, she had been urinating and defaulting herself for who knows how long. I got her into a hospital and started the process of selling my entire life back home to move closer to her. A few weeks later (this past New Years), I found my family safe absolutely gutted. She stole an entire irreplaceable collection of antique and rare firearms and sold everything over the course of three or four trips to a local gun dealer without them even questioning her. My fathers retirement pistol, gone, my childhood rifles, gone, my grandfathers war pistols, gone, my custom leather goods and holsters, gone. She even took my entire stack of childhood books, comics, and baseball cards (and autographed memorabilia) from when my father was still here and sold them all for a measley $90.00. The firearms I’d say she got approximately $5,...

How can I[M23] help my girlfriend's[21] obsession with celebrities?

​ We are together for 2 years now, and she just gets obsessed with celebrities too much sometimes, to a point that she would want to move to their city just to meet them. At the same time, she understands that it is really weird and she doesn't want to feel this way and asks me for help. She feels like psychologists don't help her in general since she has tried in the pastl (and I feel the same way too because they care mostly about the money and not about actually helping efficiently the patients) What do you people think? ​ TL;DR: Girlfriend gets obsessed with famous people like youtubers because she likes their personalities but she understands its not healthy and asks me to help her. Submitted April 08, 2019 at 06:27AM ​We are together for 2 years now, and she just gets obsessed with celebrities too much sometimes, to a point that she would want to move to their city just to meet them. At the same time, she understands that it is really weird and she doesn't ...

I (19M) decided to end it with my GF (19F) after two years of on/off dating. I now have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that its over.

We started dating towards the end of high school, dated for a bit over half a year until things got toxic. Ended it, then I had a short relationship with someone else for about 3 months, but it didn't work because of long distance. Decided to get back with her and things were absolutely great! Except like 6-7 months in she started going on dates with her exs behind my back. When I found out I ended it. I really didn't want to give my relationship up with her, because at that point I had spent so much time with her I in all honesty couldn't see myself with someone else. So we started talking again, we continued to have a sort of "off the books" relationship for 3-4 months were we made it REALLY clear we were exclusive to each other. I recently found out that one night while she told me she was going out with friends she got drunk, called some dude at 1AM met up with him and made out. God knows what else. She then had the audacity to text me literally 5 minutes af...

My girlfriend says I am not present, and I only form surface-level relationships. Please help me understand what she means, and what she wnats.

Just some background information: We are both 30 years old, we have been together for just over 5 years. We own a home together. I am currently in school for my third degree, and I work ridiculous shifts at work (today I went to school from 7:30am to 5pm, and am currently working overnight from 7pm to 7am), so I have been a little more depressed and fatigued than my norm. I mean my body and mind are truly exhausted from everything I have going on. We had a conversation about the problem last night, and unfortunately it had to end short because we had long days ahead. Regarding the surface-level relationships, she says that most of my conversations and interactions that I have with others are genuine, but about superficial subjects, so I do not form deep relationships with others. This is true. I am an introvert at heart and I work in a field where I constantly have to talk to people about their problems all day long, so I get exhausted with talking about non-surface-level things. Sam...

I (30M) just came back from just over a month of travelling work and pleasure and Gf(26) says she's needs a night before seeing me. I don't feel good about this.

Context: I'm in a 10 month relationship and had a destination wedding in south America which I turned into a trip to see family that I hadn't seen in over a decade in neighbouring countries. GF withdraws from vacation 1 month before trip citing not feeling ready. Not enough Work vacation (3 weeks in Canada and cycle ends in April ) and because she wants to save money for another trip with friends to south east Asia. My trip concluded with a trip to florida from Thurs to sat and landing in my hometown in canada 5 hours away from where we are. I propose as a compromise she come to Florida w me I help pay for it. Declines. She's excited about trip to Asia in the next year and it hurts my feelings so shortly after she declined. We talk and feelings pass. Weeks before the trip I get sent las min to Asia for business for 10 days. I come back for a few days but it's chaotic before heading off to SA so it feels like I haven't seen Her in Over a month. Fast forward trip...

I(23m) and gf (21f) of 9 months broke up today and i feel numb and empty.

Me and gf, lets call her A, broke up today due to her family situation. ​ A's muslim while i am a not very religious person at all and we started dating last year. It would be an understatement to say that this has been the happiest ive ever been. Although recently A started feeling guilty about some of the stuff shes been doing, like eating non halal food, drinking and sex. We always knew things were gonna be hard for us due to A's parents being devout muslims, but being young and in love as we are, decided to ignore it. We thought whatever happens we would just face together, and that her parents might be upset at first, but they'll eventually come around. ​ Fast forward to today and we were talking about this stuff because A's parents cried when she rejected a proposal and no reason why. A's parents do not know about us because she is not allowed to date based on culture/religion. Some words were said between them and next time we talked she started talking ...

Me [32 M] with my girlfriend [34 F] 6 year relationship, she just backhanded me tonight

We were having a lovely evening whilst driving home, singing, laughing and talking when my girlfriend asked me to pull over the car to fix the headlight that had gone out. She was afraid that we'd be pulled over and get a ticket even though I was the one driving. I felt pretty unconcerned, was willing to chance it and responded, "nah, we're ok," when she yelled my name in frustration and backhanded me so hard that my teeth clattered and my head rang. Its been over two hours and I can still feel where she hit me on my face. She apologized right away and then started to yell at me about how I need to pull over in this mix of anger and fear in her voice. I was so immediately pissed that I veered the car over and slammed on the breaks, popped the hood and let her fix the light. I'm a mechanic but in that moment I was so shocked I just sat in the car and processed what happened while she fiddled with the plug. When she got back in the car I started driving home agai...

How do I tell them I like them?

I met this one individual who made my perspective in life different in a good way. When I mention them to my friends they say that I’m crushing on them hard. I’ve only met them for a week during a camp and whenever I’m texting them I get all flustered. Even though I’ve recently met them, it feels like I could talk about anything with them like I would to a person I’ve been knowing for years. Submitted April 07, 2019 at 04:31PM I met this one individual who made my perspective in life different in a good way. When I mention them to my friends they say that I’m crushing on them hard. I’ve only met them for a week during a camp and whenever I’m texting them I get all flustered. Even though I’ve recently met them, it feels like I could talk about anything with them like I would to a person I’ve been knowing for years.

the impact you had

You know, I really liked you at one point. I never imagined it could be like this. The period of time we have been keeping each other company for was short, but it felt nice knowing I could have someone to talk to; Even though most of the time our conversations weren’t the best but in some measures not the worst. Every day of the few months we ‘spent talking’ I would wake up and wait for the notification with your name written on it. I can not explain it, but for once someone actually ‘appreciated’ me? Well to my knowledge at least; I guess I will never know if i really believe what you said was true, the same as the fact that I am not aware about how you really feel or felt. But I came to the conclusion that I still believed what you said was true with the thought that you might be lying to me; which I kept in the dark asking myself to stop doubting you. I might not mean anything to you really, that’s one thought that always crossed my mind and to this moment in the present I still...

My thoughts about love

I just wanna prevent that i'm French so my grammar may not be the best. Firstly i will tell you my latest story about my crush and me. Then i will explain what i feel now and how psychology helps not to be sad after a break or so. (I'm 15 and i go to high school) This has began in January of this year. I saw that girl at my school and then the evening of the same day i send her a friend request. She accepted it and we started to be good friends. One day, she suddently stopped speaking to me, that's how i started to wonder. I talked with her about that. She said that she "forgot me" these last days. So in the evening, i said that i loved her. She definitly gone away. I wasn't worry anymore because i knew she lost interest with me. I forgot this girl in the week. Finally i found out she was just a bad girl and i wasn't hopefully his bf because she was terrible for me. So, here is my 'psychology strategy' not to be sad after losing somebody you l...

One Day at a Time.

I was once a crybaby. In my family, I’m known as the “adult”, the one child of three who is going to do great things, following in dad’s footsteps, who’s tough and who’s the outgoing one of the bunch. I’ve had girlfriends. I was the one helping support my mother through her divorce and the only child wishing to hear both sides to that story. I’m expected as the one who holds it together in a way. In my past, I was a crybaby. I don’t find myself crying anymore. Not often, anyways, do I cry. Not anymore. I tend to hold it in, now. It’s not healthy. So, when it spills out, it tends to pour. I’ve been to therapy, talked to counselors, been to church, done the journals, and it’s helped. It all helped. I don’t cry the way I used to. It’s different, which isn’t necessarily wrong or bad, per say. Just different. When I met you, I admittedly wasn’t myself. I was me, of course, but only through effort. Inside, truly, I was a wreck at the time. You can’t control when you fall in love. Around ...

he broke up with me

it hurts and it's gonna hurt for a very long time. but everything is gonna be okay. ​ with him... Submitted April 07, 2019 at 11:12PM it hurts and it's gonna hurt for a very long time. but everything is gonna be okay.​with him...