Virtual dating for over 2 years and only met once

I (42/F) met this guy (47/M) on a dating app, I had just recently had my first go at online dating. I talked to a few guys but with my current ‘virtual boyfriend’ there was an instant connection. It’s hard to describe but I truly never felt like how I did then and still really do, before.
This started nearly 2 years ago and in this time we have only met once, could have been 2 as once he came down to where I live with his kids as a surprise and I didn’t see he had called all day, I was sooo gutted but he did come back soon after and that’s the one time we seen each other.
We speak on FaceTime everyday when he is at work, at home, at the gym so everywhere and at anytime have met his kids virtually too. He has met my parents, sister and kids when he came down as I was with them when he surprised me for the second time he came down. He works all the time and any free time he’s with the kids, the kids live with him. So I have been patient and understanding, we live 2 hrs away so that is also a complication but not impossible I have always thought. However, I am finding it very frustrating as I want to spend time with him, virtual contact is great thank goodness it exists.
However, we have always said we want more but he seems that he does want more but then why have nearly 2 years passed and only we met once. I ask him this all the time, because I have to express my feelings and frustrations, it makes me feel like I’m nagging. But is it too much to say to him so then when are we meeting?
He always says the same about working all hrs and then having the kids and also his family which relies on him so much. I feel bad for him as I do see how exhausted he is but really if you want something wouldn’t we all do whatever possible to get it. If he loves me as much as he says he does wouldn’t have we met more and see where things go. Like I have always said to him I’m not taking marriage here just dates and go with the flow and see what happens.
I don’t know what to think anymore I do believe he has feelings for me and we feel so comfortable with each other, we do spend a lot of time in the virtual world but I wonder if this is all it will be and sometimes think shall I leave it. It is very hard to explain all I feel for him, if I was not in this situation I would have thought you can’t feel love without meeting and the physical contact but I do feel love. My head really tells to move on, but my heart keeps me there.
You think this is going nowhere really? Why is he doing this? From a male perspective if you really liked a woman would you wait 2 years to see her? Thank you everyone for reading and I would love to hear from you. Is he not that interested but if he is not why he keeps this? What’s the point of stringing me along if he doesn’t want more. I’m so confused and I shouldn’t be but his actions make me assume and wonder.

Submitted April 07, 2019 at 09:16PM

I (42/F) met this guy (47/M) on a dating app, I had just recently had my first go at online dating. I talked to a few guys but with my current ‘virtual boyfriend’ there was an instant connection. It’s hard to describe but I truly never felt like how I did then and still really do, before.This started nearly 2 years ago and in this time we have only met once, could have been 2 as once he came down to where I live with his kids as a surprise and I didn’t see he had called all day, I was sooo gutted but he did come back soon after and that’s the one time we seen each other.We speak on FaceTime everyday when he is at work, at home, at the gym so everywhere and at anytime have met his kids virtually too. He has met my parents, sister and kids when he came down as I was with them when he surprised me for the second time he came down. He works all the time and any free time he’s with the kids, the kids live with him. So I have been patient and understanding, we live 2 hrs away so that is also a complication but not impossible I have always thought. However, I am finding it very frustrating as I want to spend time with him, virtual contact is great thank goodness it exists.However, we have always said we want more but he seems that he does want more but then why have nearly 2 years passed and only we met once. I ask him this all the time, because I have to express my feelings and frustrations, it makes me feel like I’m nagging. But is it too much to say to him so then when are we meeting?He always says the same about working all hrs and then having the kids and also his family which relies on him so much. I feel bad for him as I do see how exhausted he is but really if you want something wouldn’t we all do whatever possible to get it. If he loves me as much as he says he does wouldn’t have we met more and see where things go. Like I have always said to him I’m not taking marriage here just dates and go with the flow and see what happens.I don’t know what to think anymore I do believe he has feelings for me and we feel so comfortable with each other, we do spend a lot of time in the virtual world but I wonder if this is all it will be and sometimes think shall I leave it. It is very hard to explain all I feel for him, if I was not in this situation I would have thought you can’t feel love without meeting and the physical contact but I do feel love. My head really tells to move on, but my heart keeps me there.You think this is going nowhere really? Why is he doing this? From a male perspective if you really liked a woman would you wait 2 years to see her? Thank you everyone for reading and I would love to hear from you. Is he not that interested but if he is not why he keeps this? What’s the point of stringing me along if he doesn’t want more. I’m so confused and I shouldn’t be but his actions make me assume and wonder.