ugh yeah. i used to follow lives_in_a_society and now i am really disappointed in her. she said that white ace people are trying to "demisexual their way out of white privledge" which honestly shocked me because one: i have never seen an ace person compare themselves to struggles of poc and two: the only people i've seen do that are other white gay people. and idk if you've been hearing the drama around nonbrianary on tik tok but they "apparently" brought ace discourse originally saying that they're ace but now theyre kind of derailing with some of their hot takes being kinda misogynistic+transphobic and people are using that to just be aphobic. idk i just don't know why we have to argue and pick and choose who we deem valid enough to be accepted edit: sorry this comment didn't add anything and is literally just talking ab drama lmao December 02, 2020 at 12:03AM

I'm so happy that this made you happy😊😁 December 02, 2020 at 12:03AM

Coworker - they thought I was hot and hit on me; I was curious and found them challenging/interesting. We started dating, were both up front about not wanting to proceed to sex early in a relationship, and the relationship grew for a while until it eventually fell apart when my interest in intercourse never really grew, but theirs did. December 02, 2020 at 12:00AM

Once I got downvoted by someone on the demisexual sub by making a comment about how there are asexuals who are sex favorable🤷‍♀️ December 01, 2020 at 11:59PM

I don't understand. Usually those feelings about sex come from religion, parents or traumatic sexual experiences, etc. December 01, 2020 at 11:59PM

Obviously not. And I even said that I’m aromantic and asexual and they still said that I’m straight and cishet. I literally don’t feel attraction to anybody- I’m definitely not heterosexual or heteroromantic and yet they still didn’t care. And no asexual is cishet so I don’t even know what they were trying to get at. Exclusionists tend to make up bullshit arguments to justify them being an asshole. December 01, 2020 at 11:57PM

I use to give in to them when I was younger and when I did, I felt disgusted with myself for weeks on end. December 01, 2020 at 11:55PM

Exactly. Like what, they obviously aren’t educated in anything to do with the lgbtq community. December 01, 2020 at 11:55PM

I deleted it today as well after I had this interaction with someone. It’s all because the user lives_in_a_society with hundreds of thousands of followers started to post about how heteroromantic asexuals shouldn’t be part of the lgbtq community as well as shitting on micro labels sayings it’s “privileged.” And if you looked through the comments, it’s just hundreds of people saying that asexuals aren’t valid, can’t be queer, don’t experience oppression (which they do- although different than other members of the community), saying that lgbtq is based off of who one is attracted to rather than how one experiences attraction, etc... It’s pretty terrible and almost made me cry because it’s so disheartening to see thousands of people invalidating entire sexuality’s and thinking it’s okay to exclude them from a community that prides themselves on inclusion and acceptance. It makes me just feel alone and misunderstood. So I guess that’s why I deleted tiktok is because I have no desire to...

I've had several friends who refuse to believe I'm Ace and claiming the good ol' "you just haven't met the right person" instead. People can be really dense sometimes. December 01, 2020 at 11:50PM

Why the guilt and self-hatred? December 01, 2020 at 11:49PM

Thanks 💜 December 01, 2020 at 11:40PM

cringe December 01, 2020 at 11:39PM

Breaking it down, a-ego means without-self sexuality. Further breaking it down, it falls under the asexual umbrella as aegosexuals still lack sexual attraction, and we typically fantasize or watch others have sex as a way to express sexual interest. Typically aegosexuals remove themselves from their sexual fantasy, or view it from a 3rd-person perspective. However, this does not describe all aegosexuals, so better definitions have been coined. A more general and more inclusionary definition is that we dissociate our self from sex. Basically, we’re ok with it so long as it doesn’t involve us in a real world or real people situation. Many aegosexuals also identify with fictosexuality or the many sexualities closely related, all of which also fall under the asexual umbrella. December 01, 2020 at 11:38PM

I don't want to make any judgement calls because it's clearly not my place to do so, but reactions like this are usually indicative (not always) of something going very wrong on her side/how she perceives the relationship. It could have nothing to do with you being ace; maybe having told her you were ace was just the "final straw" for her, or even an excuse for her to become openly aggressive. Again, I'm not trying to assume anything here, so please take what I'm saying with a grain of salt. If you're willing to have a direct conversation with her, you should try asking her what's wrong. In any case, hold your head up high. Acephobia is still unacceptable, and you did nothing wrong by telling her you think you're ace. December 01, 2020 at 11:37PM

Np! And very true! December 01, 2020 at 11:33PM

I think i am indeed at peace just calling myself asexual with slight traces of aegosexuality. Explaining asexuality to the unbeknownst in society will be hard enough for me lol. Thanks for the help! December 01, 2020 at 11:32PM

I dont know man. You don't necessarily need to find a subcategory. You can just call yourself asexual if you think that fits. You can check out the about page though. It has a lot of info. December 01, 2020 at 11:29PM

Yes, it's pretty cool! December 01, 2020 at 11:27PM

I dont think I really have sexual fantasies, more like really weird ultimate sandbox fantasies (like lucid dreaming). These do sometimes contain sexual things i suppose but it feels more of a test of how far my fantasies can go. When it comes to erotica I do like things like just random nudes but I kinda hate actual sex. Dont really know why. December 01, 2020 at 11:24PM

Sounds like aegosexual to me. So you're still valid. December 01, 2020 at 11:24PM

NWKWKWKW December 01, 2020 at 11:22PM

Ew i wouldn't like that either. Lol here's a definition of aegosexual A disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies, or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein” December 01, 2020 at 11:17PM