I love this community. Thank you very much. I sure will do that. I only talked to him about if it was okay and boundaries but never about the future and how comfortable he is with the situation in a long-term context. I'm very grateful for every single reply here, they helped so much with respecting myself but I think yours is one of the best! Thank you, have a very nice week :) August 24, 2021 at 12:04AM

yay! followed you, i'm the one with the cute pug August 24, 2021 at 12:01AM

I think that’s a really common response to have to something that you don’t understand or personally know someone going through it. The big difference is that you questioned your own experience and then worked to understand it in whatever way resonated with you. The way you’ve tried to process it is actually exactly what I look for in dating situations with allos! So you get a big A+ in my book August 24, 2021 at 12:01AM

I suspect I'm favorable or indifferent, but I don't have the experience to know for sure August 24, 2021 at 12:00AM

When looking at their basic definitions they do seem to cancel each other out …… Maybe simplify it to : Bi- ace, Pan-ace, Het-ace, Gay-ace etc ( ace/ asexual whatever is preferable) That way it would be more ambiguous, the Bi for example could be referring to aesthetic/ romantic/ sensual or sexual attraction. Without it sounding contradictory. This is just my opinion I have no idea if there is a proper term/ definition. Good luck I hope you figure it out. : ) August 23, 2021 at 11:58PM

Oh nice! It's wonderful to see positive Asexuality representation and education! Thanks for letting us know! August 23, 2021 at 11:57PM

I would imagine "demi(allo)sexuality" and "gray(allo)sexuality" are a thing. I'm actually not sure why the (allo) part is left out, since otherwise, those sexualities don't specify to whom the person might be attracted—just the conditions of their attraction. August 23, 2021 at 11:56PM

Thank you! Yeah I actually have no idea about how does it feel to be attracted sexually for someone and I think I may misunderstand how it works. I'm getting used to the idea sex can be a craving need and at the same time something very easy to ignore for some people. I apologize for that mistake. And I didn't answer, it's ok. Btw I'm not repulsed :p Maybe when I understand better how non aces perceive it I can feel more comfortable about this idea. And you have a very great point lol it would be very sad to be kissed if I knew the person didn't want to kiss so why would sex be different, right? August 23, 2021 at 11:55PM

I think coming out is too subjective and contextual for any particular orientation on the spectrum to be "the most difficult" in any real sense. I personally have had a hell of a time coming out as a romance-and-sex-favorable aromantic asexual— especially to people who actually understand that I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction. Basically, people who understand that I don't experience romantic and sexual attraction are more likely to jokingly flirt with me—which I enjoy very much, as good fun—but then they tend to respond poorly once they find out my lack of attraction ≠ lack of willingness, even though I'm very much not assuming their jokes indicate desire on their sides. And if I ever end up in the type of committed relationship I would prefer for reasons that exclude any attraction to romance or sex, I'll incidentally "pass" as alloromantic and allosexual, so I'm certain that "coming out" about my orientation w...

oof, sorry they didn't even respond... Better than some responses, but it still must have hurt quite a bit. *hugs* August 23, 2021 at 11:54PM

yea tbf I wasn't sure about any of that myself August 23, 2021 at 11:53PM

Idk how to explain that. I am an agender masc person. I don't identify with a gender but i do feel masculine sometimes. I'm afab and i have female genitalia makes me feel dysphoria. The thought of sex and penetration repulses me. So my agender makes me an asexual person. August 23, 2021 at 11:53PM

That's so pretty! Lovely not so subtle pride piece! August 23, 2021 at 11:51PM

I was under impression that asexually was a spectrum. For me, I tend to, how to say, forget that sex exists? But if a person I am romantically attracted to suggests it, I might find it fun to participate (or not). As opposed to somebody who under no circumstances will want to have sex at all. So I think of myself as a straight and asexual. August 23, 2021 at 11:48PM

Just learning here but what do you mean it’s against your gender identity? August 23, 2021 at 11:47PM

Yeah, the only distinction is that it is possible for us to still feel romantic attraction, unless aromantic. But overall, the feeling is as you described. You can even be very attracted to them; just never get the urge to express this sexually. August 23, 2021 at 11:47PM

Aw, thanks so much! August 23, 2021 at 11:44PM

Damn, you just aphobic for fun. Comment on a 50 day old post because you that mad about what I call myself and how I fucked my man? Hmm? Anyway, so what if I did have hang ups and hesitations? What if my sexual orientation is a result of both my naturally born traits and the influence of my traumas and life experiences? So what if my asexuality is, in part, shaped by “hang ups” like r*pe, drug abuse, and mental illness? My boyfriend didn’t decide to wait for me to get over it. He decided to love me either way because he isn’t perfect either. And there’s no club here nor is there any fabrication. But if you’re that pressed about my own definition of sex and sexual orientation, go ride your own dick, touch some grass, or read a book. use it as a distraction from your ignorance August 23, 2021 at 11:42PM

That's the main reason why I'm ace and celibate. I can't bear the thought of a d inside my v. It's so disturbing, gross and a turn off. Plus, it's against my gender identity. August 23, 2021 at 11:42PM

You can still wear it, you're an ally! August 23, 2021 at 11:41PM

I would think so. Though I'm not 100 percent sure. The reason why I said it was more slated to graysexuals is that sometimes we can still experience some sexual attraction its just very lacking and (at least in my case) isn't followed by a desire for sex August 23, 2021 at 11:40PM

Absolutely! Asexuality is a spectrum! August 23, 2021 at 11:39PM

don't all the sexualities that end with "sexual" (except asexual of course) imply sexual attraction? August 23, 2021 at 11:38PM