I (M20) have a crush on a girl in my university that lives next to me. We have been talking a lot for the past few months and now we see each other very frequently (we meet in hallways or when seeing mutual friends, but she also came several times to my apartment just to discuss with me, to work or to watch films together). I think she is also interested in me considering a few things she said, but I'm not certain as she never tried anything further. I've never been in any relationship before so I don't really know what to do at this point to know whether she is interested or not, I guess that I should try to kiss her if she accepts but I've never done that before Submitted March 11, 2021 at 12:08AM I (M20) have a crush on a girl in my university that lives next to me. We have been talking a lot for the past few months and now we see each other very frequently (we meet in hallways or when seeing mutual friends, but she also came several times to my apartment just...

She made the first move and didn’t respond at the time, but now I really want her. Is it too late ? She works at a local store and had given me a note. It’s been about 2 weeks since, I don’t go there often. Submitted March 11, 2021 at 12:13AM She made the first move and didn’t respond at the time, but now I really want her. Is it too late ? She works at a local store and had given me a note. It’s been about 2 weeks since, I don’t go there often.

Me (21M) and her (21F) studied a little together last friday. Kind of awkward but whatever. She seemed really nervous but it did seem like there was some chemistry. I texted her I had a good time and that we should meet up again. No response but whatever, the text didn't really need one. The other day I asked if she maybe wanted to study, she said the day I suggested wouldn't work, but she then suggested the next day. Her words were "if you are around on wednesday I think I might be able to." She raised the topic of wednesday, not me. Furthermore, since I am off campus and she is on, I took this as a sign to come to campus. Today, I go to the library to study and text her "If you're around I am just studying in the library." She never responded and never showed up. I don't care way too much, but am wondering how I approach this situation. I kind of want to give her one more chance, but I don't want to be clingy. I kind of got the impression from...

Do you want to hanggg out next week Her: "Jeezzz I still need some flattery " "I miiighht be up for it 💁‍♀️😋 but I may need to push it till just after next week " "Have my dads bday and they haven’t gotten their second vaccine yet so need to lay low till then " I responded "Cool let me know!" Next right? Fresh out of a 4 year relationship. Boy do I miss this! Submitted March 11, 2021 at 12:16AM Do you want to hanggg out next weekHer:"Jeezzz I still need some flattery ""I miiighht be up for it 💁‍♀️😋 but I may need to push it till just after next week ""Have my dads bday and they haven’t gotten their second vaccine yet so need to lay low till then "I responded "Cool let me know!"Next right?Fresh out of a 4 year relationship. Boy do I miss this!

Keep in mind that for many (cishet normative) allo people sex may be shorthand for kissing, cuddling, all physical intimacy. I don't follow that sub so idk for sure but do they say they get other forms of physical affection? Because otherwise "no sex" is shorthand for "no physical intimacy and closeness" March 11, 2021 at 12:01AM

I haven't polished them yet, but thanks haha :) March 10, 2021 at 11:59PM

When I was in college during a lecture, a professor told the class that you should never date an asexual because they could never have feelings for you and would never contribute anything to the relationship. I contemplated suicide the rest of the week. Last week in therapy, I told my therapist that I was Ace and from thereon out she kept referring to my asexuality as my “life choices.” Yesterday I met with a nurse practitioner and I told him I had never had interest in sex and he swore up and down that it was my meds (even though I have felt this way since childhood, before meds) and that my feelings were just a “side-effect” and nothing more. When I explained it to my mom and tried to tell her that asexuals were valid and sex repulsion was valid, she dismissed it as “just something to think about” and refused to get into it further. March 10, 2021 at 11:53PM

Love the polish on them! March 10, 2021 at 11:53PM

Because generally clubs and bars are frequented by people trying to get laid and because asexuals don’t really do that they would likely go under fairly quickly. However. An excellent alternative is an arcade bar. March 10, 2021 at 11:41PM

Fair enough! If I had capital (currently doing ok - but still living paycheck to paycheck) I would totally take that risk to set up my own bar with these rules! March 10, 2021 at 11:38PM

We were watching the same video today. Nice March 10, 2021 at 11:34PM

Aw, well, I'm very glad it made you feel better. I really appreciated your comment ^^ Yeah... I mean, I don't think she'll move away soon, but it's still something that remains in the back of my mind, especially the times I'm scared of being alone. I really hope we at least keep in contact, but I probably shouldn't worry so much about it right now haha And yeah! I get it, and again I appreciate your kind words a lot. I hope you too are never lonely <3 Thanks and you're welcome! March 10, 2021 at 11:33PM

I didn't read all the way to the end but this post screams ALTEROUS ATTRACTION It's when you desire to be more than friend with someone and be close to them but it's not romantic attraction either. It's kinda varying in between platonic and romantic line all the time without ever touching them. Sensual is physical without sexual or romantic desire behind it, because things like hugs, kisses, hand holding, etc are all sensual unless you have a deeper passion when doing that action for someone. March 10, 2021 at 11:33PM

Recently I have thought about that. As we are only 1 %, it would be difficult to have a bar only for aces, but I can really well imagine that many more people would enjoy an evening in a bar or a club with a no-flirting-rule. A bar for aces and all people who don't want to hook up or find a partner, just have a nice evening with some people and everyone knows that everyone plans to go to bed alone. I think you'd find a lot of people who would enjoy that kind of place. March 10, 2021 at 11:33PM

Absolutely! I am heteroromantic and I won't be interested in a man romantically unless he's attractive (and intelligent, funny, etc..- it's not all about looks, but that's huge component for me). That's the difference between someone that's just a friend and someone I am interested in romantically. No matter how attractive he is, I won't be attracted to him sexually, but I'll only consider having sex with him if he's attractive. For this reason, I am all about taking good care of myself... I want men to find me attractive. On one hand, as my mother always said "don't advertise if you're not selling", but I am ok with selling a potential romantic connection. March 10, 2021 at 11:26PM

Omg exactly this! I’ve come to understand that other people work differently than me and “need” sex but I simply can’t relate. Going on r/deadbedrooms is always a fun time since most of the people posting on there are our polar opposites. Like i try to empathize but when they say they’re physically or mentally ruined because they’re not getting sex, i find it cringey. Like really? There’s so much more to life than sex yet you waste so much time trying to just have or get sex. Seriously, why not pursue a new hobby, build your career, spend time with friends, exercise, or do the tons of other rewarding things and be happy in life? March 10, 2021 at 11:20PM

That Snake looks like their last brain cell is bouncing around like the DVD screensaver, and I love ot March 10, 2021 at 11:17PM

I kinda want to draw this March 10, 2021 at 11:17PM

That’s very true March 10, 2021 at 11:16PM

Modern? Historical you should be married and hopefully have a child. Being horny at 14 isn't modern, it's the norm for allos. March 10, 2021 at 11:15PM

I’m sex favorable and straight up - queer up do not get when allo friends complain about not having sex in a few months. Hmm, not applicable. Sort of like hearing people talking about waiting for warm weather. My heat tolerance is low and I would happily live somewhere that stayed 50-60 degrees or lower year round, but other people like sunbathing. I don’t get it, but I don’t necessarily think less of them for what they like or the way they’re wired. For those of y’all who are really bothered by this: maybe try setting boundaries with your loved ones about it? “I know we’re close and you’re one of my favorite people, but I really don’t like hearing about your sex life.” Just asking can sometimes be enough! March 10, 2021 at 11:14PM

That's massively interesting O.o I wanna find a book and read more about asexual behaviour March 10, 2021 at 11:10PM

Yes, many asexuals have sex to please their partners. They can even enjoy it. Not every ace is sex repulsed. March 10, 2021 at 11:08PM