Confronting a ghoster

"Confronting" is a pretty strong word but I couldn't come up with another term. FWIW I don't consider someone "ghosting" unless we've had at least 3 dates and regular phone/text contact for weeks. A date or two, no. So I went out with this guy 6 or 7 seven times. We both indicated we were looking for a relationship and although he didn't like texting, he did reach out every day or two. Over a week ago, he came over for dinner, we made a date for the following wednesday and haven't heard from him since. (I'm pretty sure I didn't give him food poisoning lol). I reached out wednesday asking if we were still on. Nothing. This hasn't happened to me a lot-- maybe 2 other times in 2 yrs --but I think it's so cowardly. I'm so tempted to text him something to the effect that "hey, I enjoyed getting to know you and if you weren't feeling it that's fine but why did you just disappear instead of being honest?" (I sent a similar message to a guy who ghosted me last summer. We had a nice conversation and he even texted me the next day saying he felt terrible.) I just don't think some people don't realize how bad it feels to be literally left hanging. I am always direct with someone if I'm not feeling it. Maybe I'll be doing a public service so it doesn't happen to the next person.



Submitted April 07, 2019 at 11:20PM

"Confronting" is a pretty strong word but I couldn't come up with another term. FWIW I don't consider someone "ghosting" unless we've had at least 3 dates and regular phone/text contact for weeks. A date or two, no. So I went out with this guy 6 or 7 seven times. We both indicated we were looking for a relationship and although he didn't like texting, he did reach out every day or two. Over a week ago, he came over for dinner, we made a date for the following wednesday and haven't heard from him since. (I'm pretty sure I didn't give him food poisoning lol). I reached out wednesday asking if we were still on. Nothing. This hasn't happened to me a lot-- maybe 2 other times in 2 yrs --but I think it's so cowardly. I'm so tempted to text him something to the effect that "hey, I enjoyed getting to know you and if you weren't feeling it that's fine but why did you just disappear instead of being honest?" (I sent a similar message to a guy who ghosted me last summer. We had a nice conversation and he even texted me the next day saying he felt terrible.) I just don't think some people don't realize how bad it feels to be literally left hanging. I am always direct with someone if I'm not feeling it. Maybe I'll be doing a public service so it doesn't happen to the next person.
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