I’m in a relationship that I don’t want to be in and I don’t know why

So for starters, me and my gf have been dating for a little over a year and a half now. I’ve had some longer relationships but she says that she has never had one that lasted more than a month. We met through a mutual friend.

When we first began talking I would ft her every night. I didn’t mean it in a way of trying to make a move or anything, just genuinely liked talking to her as a friend. We talked about our days and if her days were bad I’d try to do what I could yo cheer her up, and she eventually told me that she felt a certain type of way from me talking to her like that and that no one has ever given her this kind of attention before. We fooled around for a few weeks before we eventually started dating.

What I’m looking for in a partner is someone mostly to hang out with, fool around every now and then, and to just spend time with. However, I came to find out that she sees relationships as a much more serious matter, and takes any sign of me not marching her intense feelings as a sign that I don’t love her anymore and immediately becomes insecure and anxious. I do what I can to reassure her and make her feel better, but it always comes back to the same thing, usually about twice per week.

She stays at my house and has recently began moving stuff in by my permission, but I’m not sure if I want to be in this relationship anymore. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great when she isn’t in her head (I’m not trying to demean her by saying that, but sometimes we’ll start and have to end early randomly because she says that she doesn’t feel pretty). She’s an awesome person with a heart of gold, and I want all the happiness in the world for her, and she recently broke down and said that she’s scared I’m going to break up with her.

TLDR, I want to remain friend with her since her mom kinda sucks and she has grown close to my parents, but I don’t really feel the intense emotional attachment that she has towards me. I know I’m the asshole in this situation, but is there any advice out there?

(The main reason I’m hesitant to break up with her is because I fear she will break mentally, mostly because she literally said that to me)

Submitted June 05, 2023 at 01:12AM

So for starters, me and my gf have been dating for a little over a year and a half now. I’ve had some longer relationships but she says that she has never had one that lasted more than a month. We met through a mutual friend. When we first began talking I would ft her every night. I didn’t mean it in a way of trying to make a move or anything, just genuinely liked talking to her as a friend. We talked about our days and if her days were bad I’d try to do what I could yo cheer her up, and she eventually told me that she felt a certain type of way from me talking to her like that and that no one has ever given her this kind of attention before. We fooled around for a few weeks before we eventually started dating. What I’m looking for in a partner is someone mostly to hang out with, fool around every now and then, and to just spend time with. However, I came to find out that she sees relationships as a much more serious matter, and takes any sign of me not marching her intense feelings as a sign that I don’t love her anymore and immediately becomes insecure and anxious. I do what I can to reassure her and make her feel better, but it always comes back to the same thing, usually about twice per week.She stays at my house and has recently began moving stuff in by my permission, but I’m not sure if I want to be in this relationship anymore. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great when she isn’t in her head (I’m not trying to demean her by saying that, but sometimes we’ll start and have to end early randomly because she says that she doesn’t feel pretty). She’s an awesome person with a heart of gold, and I want all the happiness in the world for her, and she recently broke down and said that she’s scared I’m going to break up with her.TLDR, I want to remain friend with her since her mom kinda sucks and she has grown close to my parents, but I don’t really feel the intense emotional attachment that she has towards me. I know I’m the asshole in this situation, but is there any advice out there?(The main reason I’m hesitant to break up with her is because I fear she will break mentally, mostly because she literally said that to me)