/u/Head_Lynx on Is sex really that big of a deal in relationships?

Funnily enough there's a lyric from Melanie Martinez's "Notebook" that's a reverse of the "without sex you are just friends" line that are constantly told to romantic aces all the time: "Laying next to just a friend who occasionally fucks me".

Sex is happening in this circumstance yet it still feels like just a friendship because there's no emotional connection and the romantic aspect is being neglected. So there are plenty of allos who feel sex isn't enough either. Despite what assholes will try to feed you, a very sexual relationship can feel just as much like a mere friendship to allos and why wouldn't it? Sex doesn't inherently show someone cares. They could just be getting relief and then leaving. No waking up together, no eating breakfast together, no cuddling and talking for hours about whatever. That feels empty. (Can you tell I love her music? XD)

This is coming from someone who is sex repulsed and super romantic. Like you, it baffles me how people see sex as romantic or important to the point that they leave their partner over it or go behind their back just to get it. My ideal romance is similar to what you've described. But I think you should know that despite what others would have you believe, a very sexual relationship with romance can still feel like a friendship due to a lot of things.

People who claim otherwise are usually very shallow and probably have many failed relationships anyways.





January 08, 2021 at 11:58PM
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more