/u/Head_Lynx on Is sex really that big of a deal in relationships?

Funnily enough there's a lyric from Melanie Martinez's "Notebook" that's a reverse of the "without sex you are just friends" line that are constantly told to romantic aces all the time: "Laying next to just a friend who occasionally fucks me".

Sex is happening in this circumstance yet it still feels like just a friendship because there's no emotional connection and the romantic aspect is being neglected. So there are plenty of allos who feel sex isn't enough either. Despite what assholes will try to feed you, a very sexual relationship can feel just as much like a mere friendship to allos and why wouldn't it? Sex doesn't inherently show someone cares. They could just be getting relief and then leaving. No waking up together, no eating breakfast together, no cuddling and talking for hours about whatever. That feels empty. (Can you tell I love her music? XD)

This is coming from someone who is sex repulsed and super romantic. Like you, it baffles me how people see sex as romantic or important to the point that they leave their partner over it or go behind their back just to get it. My ideal romance is similar to what you've described. But I think you should know that despite what others would have you believe, a very sexual relationship with romance can still feel like a friendship due to a lot of things.

People who claim otherwise are usually very shallow and probably have many failed relationships anyways.





January 08, 2021 at 11:58PM
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