Too late to apologize

I try to keep this as short as possible, but I'll be glad to answer all the follow up questions.I've fallen in love with this girl (F28), and the timing was the worst for me; I (M35) was going through really tough times in my life, and I wasn't lookin for relationship at the moment. I also didn't even know that it is possible to fall in love so madly, that has happened to me only once in my life, when I was a teenager, and I always thought that it was because of hormones - that it can't happen when you are an adult. Well it did, and it totally catch me off guard. I didn't know how to deal with the situation, and I also found out that I suffer from a thing called ROCD, relationship obsessive compulsive disorder. On top of that, I realized that people have different kind of attachment styles, and mine was anxious attachment style

Long story short, I ended up leaving this girl, after 3 months, cause I didn't know how to handle my feelings and especially the anxiety what all this caused for me. After this I had time to sort my problems and go through all the feelings and eventually come in terms with them. Now I don't want anything else than get this girl back. She says that she's also totally in love with me, and haven't had such sexual satisfaction from nowhere else. But she cannot trust me, and that's why she can't go back to what we had. Still she want's to be in contact with me, almost daily. And this is killing me. She also likes to talk about how she is seeing other guys and having casual sex, and it doesn't feel good to hear such things. I try to be as nice and compassionate towards her, but this is just too difficult. I'd like to either go back to what we had, or forget her and continue to live my life. I can't go on, if I always get my hopes up. Any thoughts or ideas on What should I do? Excuse my poor english, I try my best.

TL;DR: Dated a girl, left her, she lost trust in me. Now I want her back, but she's too scared to trust me again, and being friends is too agonizing for me.

Submitted September 16, 2019 at 11:47PM

I try to keep this as short as possible, but I'll be glad to answer all the follow up questions.I've fallen in love with this girl (F28), and the timing was the worst for me; I (M35) was going through really tough times in my life, and I wasn't lookin for relationship at the moment. I also didn't even know that it is possible to fall in love so madly, that has happened to me only once in my life, when I was a teenager, and I always thought that it was because of hormones - that it can't happen when you are an adult. Well it did, and it totally catch me off guard. I didn't know how to deal with the situation, and I also found out that I suffer from a thing called ROCD, relationship obsessive compulsive disorder. On top of that, I realized that people have different kind of attachment styles, and mine was anxious attachment styleLong story short, I ended up leaving this girl, after 3 months, cause I didn't know how to handle my feelings and especially the anxiety what all this caused for me. After this I had time to sort my problems and go through all the feelings and eventually come in terms with them. Now I don't want anything else than get this girl back. She says that she's also totally in love with me, and haven't had such sexual satisfaction from nowhere else. But she cannot trust me, and that's why she can't go back to what we had. Still she want's to be in contact with me, almost daily. And this is killing me. She also likes to talk about how she is seeing other guys and having casual sex, and it doesn't feel good to hear such things. I try to be as nice and compassionate towards her, but this is just too difficult. I'd like to either go back to what we had, or forget her and continue to live my life. I can't go on, if I always get my hopes up. Any thoughts or ideas on What should I do? Excuse my poor english, I try my best.TL;DR: Dated a girl, left her, she lost trust in me. Now I want her back, but she's too scared to trust me again, and being friends is too agonizing for me.