Early 30s(F) trying to be more vulnerable with 40(M). Is it worth it?

I’ll keep this brief.

I met a guy a few months back and our interactions were really healthy. Until one night we got extremely intimate and the both of us sort of freaked. Mind you, neither of us had slept with anyone in a long time. So, we attempted to discuss the circumstances, but I went back into this old pattern of shutting him out.

Since then I have been really upset with myself, because I did not allow for things to unfold organically after the fact. I basically told him to not talk to me.

We met up recently for coffee, but kept the discussion casual. My question is whether I should even try to reconnect with him on that level. He’s definitely more distant, which I understand given my actions. After our meetup he sent a really sweet message, which gave me a glimpse of hope. But is he just being kind?

I am treading deep waters right now. It’s either I dive in and risk being flat out rejected or I continue to ponder what if.

Submitted May 07, 2019 at 01:56PM

I’ll keep this brief.I met a guy a few months back and our interactions were really healthy. Until one night we got extremely intimate and the both of us sort of freaked. Mind you, neither of us had slept with anyone in a long time. So, we attempted to discuss the circumstances, but I went back into this old pattern of shutting him out.Since then I have been really upset with myself, because I did not allow for things to unfold organically after the fact. I basically told him to not talk to me.We met up recently for coffee, but kept the discussion casual. My question is whether I should even try to reconnect with him on that level. He’s definitely more distant, which I understand given my actions. After our meetup he sent a really sweet message, which gave me a glimpse of hope. But is he just being kind?I am treading deep waters right now. It’s either I dive in and risk being flat out rejected or I continue to ponder what if.