Becoming friends with someone who isn't ready?

I might be in the minority but I would like to find someone but I'm in no rush. I want to let it progress organically. That being said the 30+ pool seems to be a mix of people in my situation, some coming out of LTRs and having fun, some people testing the waters, etc.

I met someone a couple of months ago and felt really good about him. He was upfront about his situation and I noticed some key signs he wasn't ready for anything serious. But I thoroughly enjoyed his company and getting to know him more. We almost hooked up but I put a stop to it. I told him he's attractive and can find other people to satisfy his physical needs. Said I needed some time to process what happened and hoped we could talk again in the future.

I've been thinking the past month that I want to let him know I'm interested in getting to know him platonically. He told me he was looking for friends, dates, fun when we first started chatting. I do feel we had some uncanny similarities and coincidences that I've never encountered when meeting people for dates. I've realized I wouldn't be bothered telling him about my dating life and listening to his if we did become friends.

What's the consensus on this? If you're not romantically interested in the person or after what I replied would you be open to friendship? Or are you determined to find something serious and anything that isn't promising is a waste of time? I think he is pretty awesome as a person, good perspective, intelligent, admire his work ethic, etc. i.e. Someone I could see becoming good friends with and appreciating in my life.



Submitted May 08, 2019 at 05:43AM

I might be in the minority but I would like to find someone but I'm in no rush. I want to let it progress organically. That being said the 30+ pool seems to be a mix of people in my situation, some coming out of LTRs and having fun, some people testing the waters, etc.I met someone a couple of months ago and felt really good about him. He was upfront about his situation and I noticed some key signs he wasn't ready for anything serious. But I thoroughly enjoyed his company and getting to know him more. We almost hooked up but I put a stop to it. I told him he's attractive and can find other people to satisfy his physical needs. Said I needed some time to process what happened and hoped we could talk again in the future.I've been thinking the past month that I want to let him know I'm interested in getting to know him platonically. He told me he was looking for friends, dates, fun when we first started chatting. I do feel we had some uncanny similarities and coincidences that I've never encountered when meeting people for dates. I've realized I wouldn't be bothered telling him about my dating life and listening to his if we did become friends.What's the consensus on this? If you're not romantically interested in the person or after what I replied would you be open to friendship? Or are you determined to find something serious and anything that isn't promising is a waste of time? I think he is pretty awesome as a person, good perspective, intelligent, admire his work ethic, etc. i.e. Someone I could see becoming good friends with and appreciating in my life.
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