I (M/25) still have feelings for my girlfriend (F/30) but I want to break up with her also due to our discrepancies in sexual past. Conflicted and need advice on what to do.

Let me start by saying that I’m new to Reddit so I don’t really know if I’m in the right place to get advice. I started dating my girlfriend about 8 months back. She’s my first girlfriend and first sexual partner. I had a rough childhood including bullying and alot of rejection from women which explains the late start. Over the past couple years, I’ve been doing my best to improve myself and my mental health. However, I recently discovered that before me, she had been with 9 guys. I know 9 isn’t alot for a 30 year old and most of you will say I’m overreacting and I should let the past stay in the past but it continues to bother me for some reason. It makes me feel inferior and as if I missed out. I’ve tried to get over it but nothing seems to be working. I still have feelings for her but I also want to break up because of this. I’ve come to the conclusion that we should just move on from each other and find people that we are both comfortable with and can accept us fully. I’m really stuck at a crossroads because as much as I want to end things, I really care about her and I have a feeling I will regret doing so later on. I really don’t know what to do at this point. If you guys have any constructive, helpful advice, please share. Thank you and take care.



Submitted October 09, 2021 at 12:19AM

Let me start by saying that I’m new to Reddit so I don’t really know if I’m in the right place to get advice. I started dating my girlfriend about 8 months back. She’s my first girlfriend and first sexual partner. I had a rough childhood including bullying and alot of rejection from women which explains the late start. Over the past couple years, I’ve been doing my best to improve myself and my mental health. However, I recently discovered that before me, she had been with 9 guys. I know 9 isn’t alot for a 30 year old and most of you will say I’m overreacting and I should let the past stay in the past but it continues to bother me for some reason. It makes me feel inferior and as if I missed out. I’ve tried to get over it but nothing seems to be working. I still have feelings for her but I also want to break up because of this. I’ve come to the conclusion that we should just move on from each other and find people that we are both comfortable with and can accept us fully. I’m really stuck at a crossroads because as much as I want to end things, I really care about her and I have a feeling I will regret doing so later on. I really don’t know what to do at this point. If you guys have any constructive, helpful advice, please share. Thank you and take care.
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