I had asked my friend out in June, that didn't happen. Since then, I reduced my interactions with her and stopped actively thinking about her. Today, she invited our entire friends circle to meet her boyfriend. I feel a strange sadness and unrest, never experienced before. I feel embarrassed.

I(M31) asked my friend of 3 years (F32) out in June. She was single and not dating anyone then. She said that she doesn't see me that way. Since then, I reduced one-to-one contact and met only in groups. We used to run together before, so we continued that, but I kept the conversation casual and friendly. Though I did not start dating due to covid and my increased work schedule, I thought I had moved on.

However, today she invited everyone (group of 7 people) to meet her boyfriend at his place, and I felt a deep sadness in my heart. First I didn't know that she was dating anyone, so this was a surprise. Second, I stopped discussing personal and relationship stuff with her since June. I didn't want to make things awkward between us. Our interactions was as friendly and casual as with any other of my friends.

I have declined the invitation citing heavy work load and deadlines, and I feel embarrassed and pathetic now.

I have realized that I am insecure and emotionally immature person. I need to work on my mental health and maturity, but I don't know if it's possible anymore at my age. She's a good friend and I should feel happy for her, but deep inside I feel very sad. And I don't know why. I can't concentrate on anything at the moment and feel guilty.

I have never been in a relationship or loved anyone romantically. The longest I have dated anyone is for one month. I feel this feeling is a product of my inexperience and my immaturity. This is really embarrassing.

Sorry this is not a dating question. But how do I stop myself from feeling like this?



Submitted September 11, 2020 at 10:46PM

I(M31) asked my friend of 3 years (F32) out in June. She was single and not dating anyone then. She said that she doesn't see me that way. Since then, I reduced one-to-one contact and met only in groups. We used to run together before, so we continued that, but I kept the conversation casual and friendly. Though I did not start dating due to covid and my increased work schedule, I thought I had moved on.However, today she invited everyone (group of 7 people) to meet her boyfriend at his place, and I felt a deep sadness in my heart. First I didn't know that she was dating anyone, so this was a surprise. Second, I stopped discussing personal and relationship stuff with her since June. I didn't want to make things awkward between us. Our interactions was as friendly and casual as with any other of my friends.I have declined the invitation citing heavy work load and deadlines, and I feel embarrassed and pathetic now.I have realized that I am insecure and emotionally immature person. I need to work on my mental health and maturity, but I don't know if it's possible anymore at my age. She's a good friend and I should feel happy for her, but deep inside I feel very sad. And I don't know why. I can't concentrate on anything at the moment and feel guilty.I have never been in a relationship or loved anyone romantically. The longest I have dated anyone is for one month. I feel this feeling is a product of my inexperience and my immaturity. This is really embarrassing.Sorry this is not a dating question. But how do I stop myself from feeling like this?
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