/u/ragtimeholly on A friend of mine is telling me that I'm not asexual because I have been sexually abused.

I know a ton of allo people who don't put a huge value on having sex. I don't think it's as important to many people as allonormativity has led us to believe and it's actually very normal, especially after the hormone craziness of youth subsides. I've even known some allos who are sex-repulsed and don't want to have sex, or just don't want to have sex for other reasons, even though they feel sexual attraction regularly.

They are all welcome to hang in ace communities as allies, but I don't think it would be okay for an allo to claim they were asexual just because they didn't like sex -- especially given how many people think asexuality is just "dislike for sex" and not a sexual orientation.

I feel it would reinforce a problematic stereotype at the expense of real asexuals who don't feel sexual attraction but think they can't identify as "asexual" if they have/enjoy sex, thus preventing them from finding the information and community that they need.





September 11, 2020 at 11:39PM
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