Can someone explain to me, why am I still here?

How do I survive a relationship a narcissistic man? One that thinks he's some kind of God, when he has a little money in his pocket. Example: I just met up with him a tmobile store. He wants to buy a new iPhone. Ok. He gets there before me. Then calls me, yells into the phone so obnoxiously. Right there, that tells me he's showing off, that's his tell tell sign. I ask him to quite down. I pull up, enter the store and see two ladies, they looked at me as if I was the devil. I didn't put two and two together until he starts bragging (in his loudest voice) "hey just give me the best iphone you have, I'm paying cash." He doesn't kiss me or give me a hug, nothing to distinguish to the world that I'm his wife. Just proceeds to be loud and obnoxious. Now, back to the ladies, the longer I was there, the longer they stared. I'm sure they wished I was his daughter, cousin or sister. So they can make there move on him. These two were sizing my husband up. Of course, why not? He's there bragging to the world about his needs and making cracks to show off. I had to leave. I felt so bad, for myself. Why? Because this jackass is convinced that money is the reason women flock to him. When we met, I didn't. I thought he really loved me, for me. I wanted him, not for his looks, but the value he saw in me. Wow. He saw a price. Threw a few dimes my way, and I was bought, hook, line and sinker. I feel like total shit now. I left my first husband because he was a drug addict. We had a nice home, cars, jobs, but I couldn't take the substance abuse and what that could potentially do to our kids. I was madly in love with him. But I just couldn't anymore and left. Then after 7 years of loneliness, this person met me and mistakened my kindness for weakness. God, what have I done. It's been 15 years, and I'm still here, trying to piece my brain together, all while he is showing off and being this ridiculous ass. And when I get mad at him for things like cheating, I then get labeled ungrateful! UNGRATEFUL!! I'm ungrateful! Really?! He throws a few trinkets at me and a nice car, so I'm UNGRATEFUL, yet I don't cheat, I don't brag, I'm here at his beckon call..but I'm UNGRATEFUL! I should've run, run like hell, when I found out I was 5th in line for the thrown. Yeap, I'm his 5th wife! Great, right?! When I met him, I thought to myself "oh his ex's are the weak ones for leaving him. I'm gonna make him fall in love with me because I'm the strong one" who the fk am I kidding. They are the strong ones, for leaving! I'm am the weak one, for staying.



Submitted August 26, 2020 at 11:57PM

How do I survive a relationship a narcissistic man? One that thinks he's some kind of God, when he has a little money in his pocket. Example: I just met up with him a tmobile store. He wants to buy a new iPhone. Ok. He gets there before me. Then calls me, yells into the phone so obnoxiously. Right there, that tells me he's showing off, that's his tell tell sign. I ask him to quite down. I pull up, enter the store and see two ladies, they looked at me as if I was the devil. I didn't put two and two together until he starts bragging (in his loudest voice) "hey just give me the best iphone you have, I'm paying cash." He doesn't kiss me or give me a hug, nothing to distinguish to the world that I'm his wife. Just proceeds to be loud and obnoxious. Now, back to the ladies, the longer I was there, the longer they stared. I'm sure they wished I was his daughter, cousin or sister. So they can make there move on him. These two were sizing my husband up. Of course, why not? He's there bragging to the world about his needs and making cracks to show off. I had to leave. I felt so bad, for myself. Why? Because this jackass is convinced that money is the reason women flock to him. When we met, I didn't. I thought he really loved me, for me. I wanted him, not for his looks, but the value he saw in me. Wow. He saw a price. Threw a few dimes my way, and I was bought, hook, line and sinker. I feel like total shit now. I left my first husband because he was a drug addict. We had a nice home, cars, jobs, but I couldn't take the substance abuse and what that could potentially do to our kids. I was madly in love with him. But I just couldn't anymore and left. Then after 7 years of loneliness, this person met me and mistakened my kindness for weakness. God, what have I done. It's been 15 years, and I'm still here, trying to piece my brain together, all while he is showing off and being this ridiculous ass. And when I get mad at him for things like cheating, I then get labeled ungrateful! UNGRATEFUL!! I'm ungrateful! Really?! He throws a few trinkets at me and a nice car, so I'm UNGRATEFUL, yet I don't cheat, I don't brag, I'm here at his beckon call..but I'm UNGRATEFUL! I should've run, run like hell, when I found out I was 5th in line for the thrown. Yeap, I'm his 5th wife! Great, right?! When I met him, I thought to myself "oh his ex's are the weak ones for leaving him. I'm gonna make him fall in love with me because I'm the strong one" who the fk am I kidding. They are the strong ones, for leaving! I'm am the weak one, for staying.
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