/u/confused_middleager on aren’t all children asexual

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be invalidating. I don't question your experience, and I don't doubt you experienced what your experienced. Please me try again. I'll be more specific and concrete.

I don't know if you identify as allo or ace now, but you seem to be saying that you were allo when you were very young.

did you know you were allo at that age, or did you figure out what those feelings meant later on?

i understand that you felt differently towards girls then boys. but i feel differently towards girls then boys now, and for my whole life. the thing is that i thought those feelings were sexual, but, on reflection, i think i was wrong about that. when i want to hold hands with my wife now, or even if i want to kiss her, it is not a sexual feeling in that it is not a precursor to sex. there is just a symbolism to those acts.

but i had to do stuff with people before i understood that the urge that i felt after a kiss was not sexual. i had to try things to find out what did and what did not fulfill the craving that the kiss set up. i did all sorts of kinky stuff and then took all sorts of stuff away and what was left, to my great surprise, was not sex. it was the aftercare.

and so, I'm trying to understand how you knew, or know, that the feeling then was sexual and not romantic, without all of that experimentation. like a lot of people here, i struggle with differentiating different kinds of feelings of attraction. you, however, seem very, very certain.

does that make sense?

April 27, 2021 at 12:04AM