/u/confused_middleager on If you can have sex without love, why can’t you have love without sex?

She thinks that a marriage/relationship won’t last without sex, and a guy won’t want to be with me if we don’t have sex.

This is a very traditional way of thinking that is considered to be rather misogynistic in western society now.

In cultures that are super patriarchal and women are not empowered, the primary perceived value of women is to have babys and tend to the family's needs. Saying that a man won't want to be with you without sex is to suggest that you have nothing else of interest and value to offer the man.

It's not so common a way of thinking these days, at least in the West, and it's kind of offensive to even suggest it. What do your opinions about important topics or your educational status or your ability to create positive change in the world have to do with sex? Nothing! The things that make you who you are, and so the things that your partner presumably truly loves, have nothing at all to do with body parts weirdly mashed up against each other. If someone is with you only for sex then they are using you. They are not so interested in who you are, just what you are.

I think most people these days think women can do far better than that. But, if you grew up in one of those cultures or at one of those times where this was the main view, then may be hard to see it any other way. My own mom was one, too.

April 23, 2021 at 11:08PM