Sex on first date?

I’m (31F) fairly new to dating again after an almost 6year relationship. I’m also fairly new to this page so I’m sure that this type of question has to of come up before.

What are everyone’s thoughts on sex on the first date? To give some of my personal backstory, I was in an extremely non sexual relationship for about 4 years of my previous relationship. It didn’t start that way, I can’t even remember when we stopped having sex as often. But when I say not often I mean every 2-3 months was when we would TRY (he had a finishing up the job problem which made me self conscious thinking it was my fault. I have had sex since this relationship and am 100% positive I wasn’t the problem). I’ve been very open about discussing this issue in my previous relationship because I don’t ever want to be in that type of relationship again. I’m a sexual person and I want to be with someone who can satisfy my needs and me his.

I had a really great first date with a guy recently and we ended up fooling around and briefly had sex, he finished another way. He said he would text that was 3 days ago. I’m just really worried I screwed it up. I specifically told him we shouldn’t have sex because I didn’t want him to just go for me for that reason, he claimed he wouldn’t but here we are. But I got very caught up in the moment and was having fun, he was too I think. We had texted in the days leading up to it about how both of us really enjoyed sex and had both been in relationships where it was lacking and that we didn’t want that ever again.

I’m just curious on everyone opinion on this. Is it a deal breaker? Does it make you think differently of a person if they do this on the first date? If you are a sexual person, how do you stop once you start fooling around and you’re truly enjoying yourself?



Submitted July 06, 2020 at 11:38PM

I’m (31F) fairly new to dating again after an almost 6year relationship. I’m also fairly new to this page so I’m sure that this type of question has to of come up before.What are everyone’s thoughts on sex on the first date? To give some of my personal backstory, I was in an extremely non sexual relationship for about 4 years of my previous relationship. It didn’t start that way, I can’t even remember when we stopped having sex as often. But when I say not often I mean every 2-3 months was when we would TRY (he had a finishing up the job problem which made me self conscious thinking it was my fault. I have had sex since this relationship and am 100% positive I wasn’t the problem). I’ve been very open about discussing this issue in my previous relationship because I don’t ever want to be in that type of relationship again. I’m a sexual person and I want to be with someone who can satisfy my needs and me his.I had a really great first date with a guy recently and we ended up fooling around and briefly had sex, he finished another way. He said he would text that was 3 days ago. I’m just really worried I screwed it up. I specifically told him we shouldn’t have sex because I didn’t want him to just go for me for that reason, he claimed he wouldn’t but here we are. But I got very caught up in the moment and was having fun, he was too I think. We had texted in the days leading up to it about how both of us really enjoyed sex and had both been in relationships where it was lacking and that we didn’t want that ever again.I’m just curious on everyone opinion on this. Is it a deal breaker? Does it make you think differently of a person if they do this on the first date? If you are a sexual person, how do you stop once you start fooling around and you’re truly enjoying yourself?
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