Those of you who continued to be married after infidelity from your SO, What helped both of you heal and move on?

Obviously a throwaway since this is a delicate situation.

Recently my SO was speaking to another flirtatiously and had sneaked out to meet. According to them nothing significant happened sexually. To my knowledge only a drunken kiss. I caught it very early, but I still feel a deep sensation of betrayal. We have been together for around 9 years and we have both made mistakes and learned from them. Transparency was a pillar to our marriage. After my SO not reaching out to me at all about this temptation I can't help but feel hopeless about our future. How could one feel so emotionless towards the marriage and willing to risk everything for something so insignificant? This one was quite different as my SO stated he did not feel bad about it and does actually care for the other person. But also wants to try to leave it behind and help heal our marriage. Counseling is on our list to get done very soon. I want to learn how to trust again. I just don't know how.

Is there any advice you could give from those who have achieved reconciliation? I have a hard time thinking past how temporary our relationship feels now that this has happened. I understand every situation is very different but at this point any advice seems helpful from those who have experienced this before.

Sorry if i'm not very clear. This is all so fresh and I'm having a hard time stating how I feel.



Submitted May 08, 2019 at 10:19PM

Obviously a throwaway since this is a delicate situation.Recently my SO was speaking to another flirtatiously and had sneaked out to meet. According to them nothing significant happened sexually. To my knowledge only a drunken kiss. I caught it very early, but I still feel a deep sensation of betrayal. We have been together for around 9 years and we have both made mistakes and learned from them. Transparency was a pillar to our marriage. After my SO not reaching out to me at all about this temptation I can't help but feel hopeless about our future. How could one feel so emotionless towards the marriage and willing to risk everything for something so insignificant? This one was quite different as my SO stated he did not feel bad about it and does actually care for the other person. But also wants to try to leave it behind and help heal our marriage. Counseling is on our list to get done very soon. I want to learn how to trust again. I just don't know how.Is there any advice you could give from those who have achieved reconciliation? I have a hard time thinking past how temporary our relationship feels now that this has happened. I understand every situation is very different but at this point any advice seems helpful from those who have experienced this before.Sorry if i'm not very clear. This is all so fresh and I'm having a hard time stating how I feel.
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