My (27f) work says I'm too quiet

I work in a large corporate company and I've been there about a year and a half. The way my contract works is I do five rotations of 4 months in different teams and eventually one of the teams chooses you, so it's basically a very long job interview. You're always out to impress your boss (who you share an office with and sees and hears everything you do). Everyone is more senior than I am and I report to all of them.

I am very introverted. I tend to be quite serious in what I end up talking about and I'm crap at 'what did you do at the weekend' conversations because I feel like I dont really do things that would interest other people, or they'd think I was weird. I'm also gay and not out at work, so that doesn't help.

Basically my work has said I dont chat enough and I dont make an effort enough to make friends. I need to let people 'get to know me' but tbh I really dont want to. I'm fine making a bit of conversation here and there but for the most part I prefer to just do my work and chat at lunch or on breaks. I find it stressful enough sharing a small office with someone 24/7. I also kind of feel like I shouldnt really be obligated to be best friends with everyone I work with, particularly when they're all basically my boss.

Tldr: I am quite shy and find socialising very draining. I think I chat to my coworkers a reasonable amount, but apparently I'm too reserved about sharing about my life/interests and what I do in my spare time. How do I learn to be more friendly and not let it take so much energy out of me? Or is my job being weird?



Submitted December 20, 2019 at 12:29AM

I work in a large corporate company and I've been there about a year and a half. The way my contract works is I do five rotations of 4 months in different teams and eventually one of the teams chooses you, so it's basically a very long job interview. You're always out to impress your boss (who you share an office with and sees and hears everything you do). Everyone is more senior than I am and I report to all of them.I am very introverted. I tend to be quite serious in what I end up talking about and I'm crap at 'what did you do at the weekend' conversations because I feel like I dont really do things that would interest other people, or they'd think I was weird. I'm also gay and not out at work, so that doesn't help.Basically my work has said I dont chat enough and I dont make an effort enough to make friends. I need to let people 'get to know me' but tbh I really dont want to. I'm fine making a bit of conversation here and there but for the most part I prefer to just do my work and chat at lunch or on breaks. I find it stressful enough sharing a small office with someone 24/7. I also kind of feel like I shouldnt really be obligated to be best friends with everyone I work with, particularly when they're all basically my boss.Tldr: I am quite shy and find socialising very draining. I think I chat to my coworkers a reasonable amount, but apparently I'm too reserved about sharing about my life/interests and what I do in my spare time. How do I learn to be more friendly and not let it take so much energy out of me? Or is my job being weird?
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