I (22F) feel like a classmate (21-22F) is intentionally making me uncomfortable and I don't want to be grouped with her again

I posted on r/Advice but I feel like I might get more suggestions here.

Mostly, I know I could email my professors about it and get my trauma counselor involved as well, but I don't know if it is worth it and don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive.

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A brief background, I'm in my last year and last quarter of college so I feel like I should almost just ignore it, but I really don't want to have to do group work with this person again because I find it emotionally upsetting.

I suspect that this person does not like me because I've been open about the fact that one of her friends did something bad to me a few years ago. Her friend group has actively harassed me online before, attempted to defame me, and entered my place of work before to try to shit-talk me to coworkers. An attempt to silence me from talking about what their friend did.

I never cause a problem with her in class or anything, I mostly avoid her.

Well, today, we were doing testing on an app that we're creating in different groups. It was all on paper as this is the first prototype, so we had to draw each frame and have a person test the usability.

We had someone volunteer while I was setting up, so that person was waiting when this girl (who I'll call Bully) comes up and says, "I'm testing it first." I told her we already had someone waiting but she could go after. Bully glares/smirks and yells to my professor across the room, "They just said I have to wait for someone else to go first. Is that true?" And my professor said she didn't care.

So, she ended up going first. Right off the bat she was super aggressive about the layout of our app. Which is fine, it's critique, but it was over dumb shit and specifically directed at me. For instance, since it's all hand-drawn and it's a video streaming app, we only drew out a sample page of one movie.

She immediately starts going, "Why do I have to pick that movie. I don't want to pick that movie." I responded, "Well, it's just the assigned task we need to see you complete."

Bully (aggressive tone): "Well, I don't want to pick that one, you should have more options. What if I want to see something else? Why does your app only have one movie?"

Me: "It doesn't, it's just that that's the task and that's the only movie description that we sketched out."

She stopped after that but then told me we should have laid out her tasks for her. We did, on a paper right in front of her, but I guess she is 22 years old and can't read. Part of usability testing is to see if the participant can figure it out themselves, if they can't, we need to fix something.

It wasn't that she ran into issues that bothers me, her tone the entire time was very, very aggressive. I don't know how else to describe it. She wasn't like that with anyone else and we didn't have any other participants act like that.

I've had her in critique groups before where she was practically ripping my work to shreds and I said, "Well, the reason I did it that way was on the advice of the professor." And she barked back, "The Professor's word isn't law." I changed my design based on Bully's harsh critique and ended up getting a low grade because my professor said I should have kept it how I had it. I don't know if that was intentional sabotage/bullying, but I suspect it was.

With what happened today, even my group partner, who is completely unrelated to the harassment issue and knew nothing about it caught on that this girl was being aggressive with me and remarked about it.

I have gone to my university before asking for no-contact orders so that I did not end up in the same classes as the people who harassed me last year but they declined to do it because I didn't press charges against their friend. I have a trauma counselor who has offered to get in contact with my professors about keeping me separated from this girl before, but I felt weird about going through with it because I didn't want to put my professors in an uncomfortable position.

I guess I could go through with it, but I run into the issue that literally everyone likes this girl. Everyone, because she is well-known, charismatic, and "quirky." I guess endearing to some people, I don't think I would be believed.

But, I just find her extremely aggressive when she speaks to me and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I usually go home upset at the encounters, just feeling like I've been made fun of or something.

I also feel uncomfortable sticking up for myself to her face, because when they were harassing me last year online and I pointed out their hypocrisy or pointed out how awful they were being, they found some way to warp it and shut down the conversation by calling me and my friends random, conversation-ending insults.

I just feel like it's bullying...but I don't know what to do because we're adults.

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TL;DR: I have someone in my classes whose friend group has previously been very nasty to me and when I'm put in groups with her in class, I feel like she is intentionally trying to be mean to me. I don't try to instigate anything with her and don't really know her outside of her association with the people who were nasty to me. I don't think my professors would believe me if I said anything because she is well-liked and I'm nervous about rocking the boat.

Submitted April 19, 2019 at 06:59AM

I posted on r/Advice but I feel like I might get more suggestions here.Mostly, I know I could email my professors about it and get my trauma counselor involved as well, but I don't know if it is worth it and don't know if I'm just being overly sensitive._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________A brief background, I'm in my last year and last quarter of college so I feel like I should almost just ignore it, but I really don't want to have to do group work with this person again because I find it emotionally upsetting.I suspect that this person does not like me because I've been open about the fact that one of her friends did something bad to me a few years ago. Her friend group has actively harassed me online before, attempted to defame me, and entered my place of work before to try to shit-talk me to coworkers. An attempt to silence me from talking about what their friend did.I never cause a problem with her in class or anything, I mostly avoid her.Well, today, we were doing testing on an app that we're creating in different groups. It was all on paper as this is the first prototype, so we had to draw each frame and have a person test the usability.We had someone volunteer while I was setting up, so that person was waiting when this girl (who I'll call Bully) comes up and says, "I'm testing it first." I told her we already had someone waiting but she could go after. Bully glares/smirks and yells to my professor across the room, "They just said I have to wait for someone else to go first. Is that true?" And my professor said she didn't care.So, she ended up going first. Right off the bat she was super aggressive about the layout of our app. Which is fine, it's critique, but it was over dumb shit and specifically directed at me. For instance, since it's all hand-drawn and it's a video streaming app, we only drew out a sample page of one movie.She immediately starts going, "Why do I have to pick that movie. I don't want to pick that movie." I responded, "Well, it's just the assigned task we need to see you complete."Bully (aggressive tone): "Well, I don't want to pick that one, you should have more options. What if I want to see something else? Why does your app only have one movie?"Me: "It doesn't, it's just that that's the task and that's the only movie description that we sketched out."She stopped after that but then told me we should have laid out her tasks for her. We did, on a paper right in front of her, but I guess she is 22 years old and can't read. Part of usability testing is to see if the participant can figure it out themselves, if they can't, we need to fix something.It wasn't that she ran into issues that bothers me, her tone the entire time was very, very aggressive. I don't know how else to describe it. She wasn't like that with anyone else and we didn't have any other participants act like that.I've had her in critique groups before where she was practically ripping my work to shreds and I said, "Well, the reason I did it that way was on the advice of the professor." And she barked back, "The Professor's word isn't law." I changed my design based on Bully's harsh critique and ended up getting a low grade because my professor said I should have kept it how I had it. I don't know if that was intentional sabotage/bullying, but I suspect it was.With what happened today, even my group partner, who is completely unrelated to the harassment issue and knew nothing about it caught on that this girl was being aggressive with me and remarked about it.I have gone to my university before asking for no-contact orders so that I did not end up in the same classes as the people who harassed me last year but they declined to do it because I didn't press charges against their friend. I have a trauma counselor who has offered to get in contact with my professors about keeping me separated from this girl before, but I felt weird about going through with it because I didn't want to put my professors in an uncomfortable position.I guess I could go through with it, but I run into the issue that literally everyone likes this girl. Everyone, because she is well-known, charismatic, and "quirky." I guess endearing to some people, I don't think I would be believed.But, I just find her extremely aggressive when she speaks to me and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I usually go home upset at the encounters, just feeling like I've been made fun of or something.I also feel uncomfortable sticking up for myself to her face, because when they were harassing me last year online and I pointed out their hypocrisy or pointed out how awful they were being, they found some way to warp it and shut down the conversation by calling me and my friends random, conversation-ending insults.I just feel like it's bullying...but I don't know what to do because we're adults.​TL;DR: I have someone in my classes whose friend group has previously been very nasty to me and when I'm put in groups with her in class, I feel like she is intentionally trying to be mean to me. I don't try to instigate anything with her and don't really know her outside of her association with the people who were nasty to me. I don't think my professors would believe me if I said anything because she is well-liked and I'm nervous about rocking the boat.