I'm(20F) scared that my Fiance(23F) might be abusing me

First time posting, throwaway for obvious reasons...

My fiance and I have been together for almost four years and I really do believe she is the love of my life. She's so kind and so sweet and supportive and gentle... until she's not.

It started with her yelling at me about things that she know really hurt me. Then it turned into her not wanting me to spend time with anyone except her. I understand that I work a lot so the time we get together is special, but she would blow up at me if I asked to spend time with friends and would be angry/sulk if friends came to our place (even though she agreed to have them over.)

Twice now in the past four years she has put her hands on me out of anger. During a really heated argument I was afraid due to past parental abuse and wanted to leave the situation until we both calmed down. She grabbed my wrist and jerked me back, yanking my arm and digging her fingers into my skin. I just sobbed...

I'm so hurt and so confused. I love her with all of my heart and I know she genuinely loves me too. I hope maybe she just has anger issues or something like that and it can be resolved. I'm just so tired of feeling alone and afraid. I feel so powerless and all I want is to make her happy. I know if I left she'd hurt herself or worse and I absolutely couldn't bear to know that something like that had happened to her...

So please, tell me what should I do? How can we fix this? I want to protect her and love her, what is the next step?

TLDR; She shows classic signs of an abusive partner but I still love her and want to help. How do I?



Submitted April 19, 2019 at 06:58AM

First time posting, throwaway for obvious reasons...My fiance and I have been together for almost four years and I really do believe she is the love of my life. She's so kind and so sweet and supportive and gentle... until she's not.It started with her yelling at me about things that she know really hurt me. Then it turned into her not wanting me to spend time with anyone except her. I understand that I work a lot so the time we get together is special, but she would blow up at me if I asked to spend time with friends and would be angry/sulk if friends came to our place (even though she agreed to have them over.)Twice now in the past four years she has put her hands on me out of anger. During a really heated argument I was afraid due to past parental abuse and wanted to leave the situation until we both calmed down. She grabbed my wrist and jerked me back, yanking my arm and digging her fingers into my skin. I just sobbed...I'm so hurt and so confused. I love her with all of my heart and I know she genuinely loves me too. I hope maybe she just has anger issues or something like that and it can be resolved. I'm just so tired of feeling alone and afraid. I feel so powerless and all I want is to make her happy. I know if I left she'd hurt herself or worse and I absolutely couldn't bear to know that something like that had happened to her...So please, tell me what should I do? How can we fix this? I want to protect her and love her, what is the next step?TLDR; She shows classic signs of an abusive partner but I still love her and want to help. How do I?
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