My (21 F) parents (60's M/F) said they'll disown me if I post about my engagement on Facebook

Background info on me: I'm 21, almost 22. I'm an engineering student (getting 2 engineering degrees with a science minor). I'm in a 5 year program, but I'll be graduating a semester early. I'm one of the top engineering students at my whole university (which is one of the best for engineering in the country). I'm also planning on going to grad school.

I've been dating my SO (21 M) for two years. He's also in engineering. We're from the same town. My parents approve of him. However, we're planning on getting engaged in May. We love each other, and we plan to move in together. Both of our parents are very traditional, and we would rather be engaged before living with each other. As I'm going to go to grad school, we won't actually get married for another 3+ years.

My parents are very, very traditional. They're from a culture where everything is about looking good to others. They expect me to do well in school, expect me to get good grades, etc. Even when I actually already landed a job out of school at a huge engineering company, it wasn't good enough for them. Thus, I'm going to grad school instead. They're the type of parents who only will accept PhD/PharmD/MD/JD, etc. from their child. A Bachelor's Degree isn't enough for them. Heck, just a Master's Degree isn't enough for them either.

They're ok with my SO and I getting engaged and having a longterm engagement, but they won't let us post it on Facebook. They absolutely care about social status. Every single post my parents have made on Facebook is about awards I have won. My SO is so excited to share our engagement once we actually get engaged to his friends and family via Facebook, but my parents are absolutely upset about this. They told me that 22 is too young to get engaged, and people will judge me and them. My parents said that if we post that we're engaged on Facebook, they'll disown me. I don't know what to do. I'm absolutely distraught. They told me that Facebook is only good for posting accomplishments, and getting engaged isn't an accomplishment. They told me that posting that I'm engaged will look bad, and it'll make others (especially my family and friends) look down on me. Since I'm not graduating until December (my SO graduates this May), it'll look even worse that I'm getting engaged before I graduate. I'm so confused on what I should do. I love my parents, and I do my best to make them proud. However, I really want to announce the news of my engagement on Facebook. I'm so happy to be with such an amazing SO, and I'm so excited for our long-term engagement. If you were in my situation, what would you do?

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Tl;dr: my parents care a lot about social status, and they think I'm too young to post that I'm engaged on Facebook. If my SO or I share that we're engaged on Facebook, they will disown me. What do I do?

Submitted April 19, 2019 at 04:41AM

Background info on me: I'm 21, almost 22. I'm an engineering student (getting 2 engineering degrees with a science minor). I'm in a 5 year program, but I'll be graduating a semester early. I'm one of the top engineering students at my whole university (which is one of the best for engineering in the country). I'm also planning on going to grad school.I've been dating my SO (21 M) for two years. He's also in engineering. We're from the same town. My parents approve of him. However, we're planning on getting engaged in May. We love each other, and we plan to move in together. Both of our parents are very traditional, and we would rather be engaged before living with each other. As I'm going to go to grad school, we won't actually get married for another 3+ years.My parents are very, very traditional. They're from a culture where everything is about looking good to others. They expect me to do well in school, expect me to get good grades, etc. Even when I actually already landed a job out of school at a huge engineering company, it wasn't good enough for them. Thus, I'm going to grad school instead. They're the type of parents who only will accept PhD/PharmD/MD/JD, etc. from their child. A Bachelor's Degree isn't enough for them. Heck, just a Master's Degree isn't enough for them either.They're ok with my SO and I getting engaged and having a longterm engagement, but they won't let us post it on Facebook. They absolutely care about social status. Every single post my parents have made on Facebook is about awards I have won. My SO is so excited to share our engagement once we actually get engaged to his friends and family via Facebook, but my parents are absolutely upset about this. They told me that 22 is too young to get engaged, and people will judge me and them. My parents said that if we post that we're engaged on Facebook, they'll disown me. I don't know what to do. I'm absolutely distraught. They told me that Facebook is only good for posting accomplishments, and getting engaged isn't an accomplishment. They told me that posting that I'm engaged will look bad, and it'll make others (especially my family and friends) look down on me. Since I'm not graduating until December (my SO graduates this May), it'll look even worse that I'm getting engaged before I graduate. I'm so confused on what I should do. I love my parents, and I do my best to make them proud. However, I really want to announce the news of my engagement on Facebook. I'm so happy to be with such an amazing SO, and I'm so excited for our long-term engagement. If you were in my situation, what would you do?---Tl;dr: my parents care a lot about social status, and they think I'm too young to post that I'm engaged on Facebook. If my SO or I share that we're engaged on Facebook, they will disown me. What do I do?