My (18M) girlfriend (20F) suddenly had doubts over her feelings for me.

Hey, i'm seeking for answers and help here.

CONTEXT : My girlfriend and I been together for 4 month, in a mid-distance relationship. We're seeing each other everyweek, 2 weeks. Sex is good, she's very attentionate, gives me a lot of affection, and so do I. We had until now an almost perfect relationship objectivly (her words), loving and trusting each other, with no routine etc.

However recently i felt that something was wrong and I was a bit worried, she got distant even tho last weekend we were so close and she even told me that she wanted to make our relationship last and talk about me to her parents. Great ! Right ? But as I said since monday, she became a bit distant and I felt something was off. I didn't do anything wrong, she would've told me. We didn't text much, I was often initiating and pushing the discussion, it feels awful. I was tired of always initiating so i felt like i should give her Space and let her Come first. Yesterday when we didn't even talked all day, she didn't message me at all even tho she promised we would.

Because I've had a kinda considerable health issue that I consider she should be aware of, I messaged and broke no-contact. She seemed worried but once she knew I was okay grew distant again, so I got angry and called her and told her that she should have talk to me cause something wasn't obviously right.

THE DISCUSSION WE'VE HAD :

I said that I'm not dumb, that I know something's wrong. That it is unfair that she treats me that way, lets me freak out without communicating and telling me the truth about how she feels. I said it's her right not wanting to talk, but at least she should say it so I don't feel bad.

She said she's sorry, that she didn't want to hurt me.

Then I had to ask tons of question to know what was wrong. All the possibilites I mentionned, her being sad, stressed... It wasn't that. Until I asked If she has doubts over her feeling. And she didn't answer I knew it was it.

She started crying saying that she didn't knew how she feels. That she didn't know if she loves me. I said that I didn't understand since we've been together 4 month, she Always said she loves me, we traveled together etc and lived so much things together, and that it couldn't have been fake all the time. She says that she never faked anything and that she meant it everytime she said she loves me. And until this weekend she meant it.

I asked her why she would doubt about her feelings now if everything was okay until a few days ago. She said she didn't know. She said it wasn't not a problem that things went a bit fast between us since she love.s.d me but that the problem is that it makes her sad to have doubts at this stage of the relationship.

We kept talking and still said she was lost and was sorry to hurt me since I've been perfect since the begining. At some point I asked her if distance was scaring her, she said that She already had a long distance relationship. And that it didn't worked out, she asks herself what's the point of all of this. How long this is gonna be long distance, and if a future together is possible. I asked her that I wanted to build something since i'm not far from having my diploma, and that I've Always done everything to go and see her (since doesn't have the money to come see me), and I promised i would do anything to make it work. It seems to have reassured her a bit but I know it's not only that.

I said that I didn't want to lose her since i don't want to lose a girlfriend and a bestfriend. She said it's the same of her.

So I asked her if she still wants to try, she said yes she wants. I asked multiple Times if she was sure and that she doesn't have to feel forced she said that yes she REALLY wants to try.

We're still together, okay. Now i have several questions ?

Is it normal to pull out those kind of doubts out of no where when everything was fine for the both of us or is it a RED FLAG ?

How should I act from here on out ? Because i still love her as if it was the 1st day, but her I do not know. What do I to make it work and make things as they were or better ?

Should I leave her ? Because I feel kinda betrayed here. What she said really hurts me, and it hurts me that if i didn't dig and pushed her to talk, i would've stayed doubting and sad a long time without any communication from her.

Thanks y'all, I really need your answer.

Tl;dr : girlfriend says she doubts and doesn't know if she loves me anymore even tho everything was perfect. We're still together, What do I do ?

Submitted April 19, 2019 at 06:12AM

Hey, i'm seeking for answers and help here.CONTEXT : My girlfriend and I been together for 4 month, in a mid-distance relationship. We're seeing each other everyweek, 2 weeks. Sex is good, she's very attentionate, gives me a lot of affection, and so do I. We had until now an almost perfect relationship objectivly (her words), loving and trusting each other, with no routine etc.However recently i felt that something was wrong and I was a bit worried, she got distant even tho last weekend we were so close and she even told me that she wanted to make our relationship last and talk about me to her parents. Great ! Right ? But as I said since monday, she became a bit distant and I felt something was off. I didn't do anything wrong, she would've told me. We didn't text much, I was often initiating and pushing the discussion, it feels awful. I was tired of always initiating so i felt like i should give her Space and let her Come first. Yesterday when we didn't even talked all day, she didn't message me at all even tho she promised we would.Because I've had a kinda considerable health issue that I consider she should be aware of, I messaged and broke no-contact. She seemed worried but once she knew I was okay grew distant again, so I got angry and called her and told her that she should have talk to me cause something wasn't obviously right.THE DISCUSSION WE'VE HAD :I said that I'm not dumb, that I know something's wrong. That it is unfair that she treats me that way, lets me freak out without communicating and telling me the truth about how she feels. I said it's her right not wanting to talk, but at least she should say it so I don't feel bad.She said she's sorry, that she didn't want to hurt me.Then I had to ask tons of question to know what was wrong. All the possibilites I mentionned, her being sad, stressed... It wasn't that. Until I asked If she has doubts over her feeling. And she didn't answer I knew it was it.She started crying saying that she didn't knew how she feels. That she didn't know if she loves me. I said that I didn't understand since we've been together 4 month, she Always said she loves me, we traveled together etc and lived so much things together, and that it couldn't have been fake all the time. She says that she never faked anything and that she meant it everytime she said she loves me. And until this weekend she meant it.I asked her why she would doubt about her feelings now if everything was okay until a few days ago. She said she didn't know. She said it wasn't not a problem that things went a bit fast between us since she love.s.d me but that the problem is that it makes her sad to have doubts at this stage of the relationship.We kept talking and still said she was lost and was sorry to hurt me since I've been perfect since the begining. At some point I asked her if distance was scaring her, she said that She already had a long distance relationship. And that it didn't worked out, she asks herself what's the point of all of this. How long this is gonna be long distance, and if a future together is possible. I asked her that I wanted to build something since i'm not far from having my diploma, and that I've Always done everything to go and see her (since doesn't have the money to come see me), and I promised i would do anything to make it work. It seems to have reassured her a bit but I know it's not only that.I said that I didn't want to lose her since i don't want to lose a girlfriend and a bestfriend. She said it's the same of her.So I asked her if she still wants to try, she said yes she wants. I asked multiple Times if she was sure and that she doesn't have to feel forced she said that yes she REALLY wants to try.We're still together, okay. Now i have several questions ?Is it normal to pull out those kind of doubts out of no where when everything was fine for the both of us or is it a RED FLAG ?How should I act from here on out ? Because i still love her as if it was the 1st day, but her I do not know. What do I to make it work and make things as they were or better ?Should I leave her ? Because I feel kinda betrayed here. What she said really hurts me, and it hurts me that if i didn't dig and pushed her to talk, i would've stayed doubting and sad a long time without any communication from her.Thanks y'all, I really need your answer.Tl;dr : girlfriend says she doubts and doesn't know if she loves me anymore even tho everything was perfect. We're still together, What do I do ?