I (42M) have been seeing my GF (38F) for 6 months and I'm starting to lose interest. Is this normal?

tl;dr - Got married young and never dated as an adult, staring to see my deal breakers and red flags and losing interest in GF after 6 months. Looking for advice on what to do.

I've never really dated as an adult, I met my ex at 19, got married at 21, so a lot of the nuisances of the dating world are new to me. Basically, when I met my ex, I was in between deployments things got complicated after she got pregnant and I stayed because I didn't want my kid growing up without a father.

I was in my last relationship for 21 years and recently started dating again, after going through a year of therapy and just figuring out who I am as a person. So much of my identity was tied to my relationship and former occupation (ex-military).

About 8 months ago, I meet an amazing woman (solid career, smart and funny, sensible, no drama) ... we're in the same social group and started hanging out and eventually moved from being a casual thing to becoming more serious. She's never been married or had a serious LTR until I came into the picture.

We get along fine, but there is something I just can't figure out ... I'm losing interest and don't know why.

While we share similar interest and social groups, I'm free to do my own thing and we often make plans around our busy schedules. I have 3 kids, so they're my main priority and feel at times that my time with her takes away from my time with them.

The last month or so, we're seeing each other less and less and our conversations are becoming less frequent, even though we've made an effort to integrate our plans and activities.

Over the last few months, I've become a lot more physically active, taken on new hobbies, and like exploring new places with my kids, while she's turned into more of a homebody and is always tired or has stuff on her plate that makes it difficult to schedule around... she's aware that this is an issue, but meetings and "things" keep popping up.

This past weekend, we went on our first official vacation as a couple. While It was fun, I felt that I had to comprise a lot when it came to selecting activities and she also seemed a little withdrawn...even our conversations in the car felt contrived.

I usually roll with the punches when our plans change, but it's been happening more often and the #1 thing I learned from my last relationship is not to settle for someone who doesn't make you a priority.

I don't want to be the center of her universe, but I also don't want to be plan B. I just want to know that I'm a priority on some level, because I give up time with my #1 priorities to make time for her.

I've been thinking more and more about the red flags and deal beakers I ignored early in our relationship (low motivation, constant need for validation, low sex drive, not wanting kids) and I'm starring to have second thoughts about our future together.

Am I being overly dramatic? Am I lacking something and projecting? Should I cut my loses and move on?

Submitted April 18, 2019 at 06:33PM

tl;dr - Got married young and never dated as an adult, staring to see my deal breakers and red flags and losing interest in GF after 6 months. Looking for advice on what to do.I've never really dated as an adult, I met my ex at 19, got married at 21, so a lot of the nuisances of the dating world are new to me. Basically, when I met my ex, I was in between deployments things got complicated after she got pregnant and I stayed because I didn't want my kid growing up without a father.I was in my last relationship for 21 years and recently started dating again, after going through a year of therapy and just figuring out who I am as a person. So much of my identity was tied to my relationship and former occupation (ex-military).About 8 months ago, I meet an amazing woman (solid career, smart and funny, sensible, no drama) ... we're in the same social group and started hanging out and eventually moved from being a casual thing to becoming more serious. She's never been married or had a serious LTR until I came into the picture.We get along fine, but there is something I just can't figure out ... I'm losing interest and don't know why.While we share similar interest and social groups, I'm free to do my own thing and we often make plans around our busy schedules. I have 3 kids, so they're my main priority and feel at times that my time with her takes away from my time with them.The last month or so, we're seeing each other less and less and our conversations are becoming less frequent, even though we've made an effort to integrate our plans and activities.Over the last few months, I've become a lot more physically active, taken on new hobbies, and like exploring new places with my kids, while she's turned into more of a homebody and is always tired or has stuff on her plate that makes it difficult to schedule around... she's aware that this is an issue, but meetings and "things" keep popping up.This past weekend, we went on our first official vacation as a couple. While It was fun, I felt that I had to comprise a lot when it came to selecting activities and she also seemed a little withdrawn...even our conversations in the car felt contrived.I usually roll with the punches when our plans change, but it's been happening more often and the #1 thing I learned from my last relationship is not to settle for someone who doesn't make you a priority.I don't want to be the center of her universe, but I also don't want to be plan B. I just want to know that I'm a priority on some level, because I give up time with my #1 priorities to make time for her.I've been thinking more and more about the red flags and deal beakers I ignored early in our relationship (low motivation, constant need for validation, low sex drive, not wanting kids) and I'm starring to have second thoughts about our future together.Am I being overly dramatic? Am I lacking something and projecting? Should I cut my loses and move on?