I (16F) have issues with my racist mom (45F)

Apologies for formatting. I'm on my phone rn.

My mom has been racist my entire life, but this week I decided "fuck it this is too much."

As a small child my mother would hammer the importance of embracing Asian culture into my head, and I liked my ethnicity and customs. But she would ALWAYS reinforce other stereotypes, like how most Hispanics were dumb and most black people were uneducated gangster types.

I got really angry when she would try to rant about her racist beliefs, but what could I do? My mom is extremely stubborn and clings to her opinions like how magnets stick to a metal rod.

Since my mom never voiced her opinions in public or outwardly discriminated i mostly ignored her teachings and hoped for the best...

But this has been going on still. My mom only praises people of her ethnicity for being smart and when talking to me about teachers or friends she only asks me to talk about "smart Asian ones"

She's been very judgemental about my friends who aren't Asian and has been less favorable to them. She's tried to stop me (and sometimes succeeded) from hanging out with my friends of non Asian ethnicities. And she has told me repeatedly that I'm not "smart enough" to be friends with "the smart Asians" and that I should only be friends with " smart Asians".

The final straw was when my mom saw me walking home with some classmates of mine two days ago and asked about them when I arrived home. Instead of asking if I liked them or if they were nice- she immediately demanded to know their ethnicities so she could "decide if they're right for me" and spouted out some more stereotyped to deter me from being friends with the non Asians.

What the actual fuck? I know my mother grew up very strictly Asian- but she's overwhelmingly racist and interfering with my friendships. It's horrible enough that she's racist, but her inference is worsening it.

How do I make her stop?

TL;DR my mom is extremely racist and multiple times she's directly influenced or tried to influence my friendships because not all my friends are "smart Asians".



Submitted April 19, 2019 at 06:31AM

Apologies for formatting. I'm on my phone rn.My mom has been racist my entire life, but this week I decided "fuck it this is too much."As a small child my mother would hammer the importance of embracing Asian culture into my head, and I liked my ethnicity and customs. But she would ALWAYS reinforce other stereotypes, like how most Hispanics were dumb and most black people were uneducated gangster types.I got really angry when she would try to rant about her racist beliefs, but what could I do? My mom is extremely stubborn and clings to her opinions like how magnets stick to a metal rod.Since my mom never voiced her opinions in public or outwardly discriminated i mostly ignored her teachings and hoped for the best...But this has been going on still. My mom only praises people of her ethnicity for being smart and when talking to me about teachers or friends she only asks me to talk about "smart Asian ones"She's been very judgemental about my friends who aren't Asian and has been less favorable to them. She's tried to stop me (and sometimes succeeded) from hanging out with my friends of non Asian ethnicities. And she has told me repeatedly that I'm not "smart enough" to be friends with "the smart Asians" and that I should only be friends with " smart Asians".The final straw was when my mom saw me walking home with some classmates of mine two days ago and asked about them when I arrived home. Instead of asking if I liked them or if they were nice- she immediately demanded to know their ethnicities so she could "decide if they're right for me" and spouted out some more stereotyped to deter me from being friends with the non Asians.What the actual fuck? I know my mother grew up very strictly Asian- but she's overwhelmingly racist and interfering with my friendships. It's horrible enough that she's racist, but her inference is worsening it.How do I make her stop?TL;DR my mom is extremely racist and multiple times she's directly influenced or tried to influence my friendships because not all my friends are "smart Asians".
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