Should I ask her to text me?

So Tinder's been rough on me. Like 15 matches in half a year of which only 3 replied to my messages. With 2 of these I didn't really hit it off, but 1 was really cool and I clicked with her.

At some point she started replying much more slowly, until eventually she didnt reply for a week, after which she said that she'd met a guy with whom she wanted to see where it would go. She was very respectful about it, said I was a great guy and wished me well and I wished her the same.

I realise I'm sounding pathetic, but I think it's on the one hand my lack of success with Tinder and on the other hand the idea that I have nothing to lose with her, but I've found it hard to completely forget about her. (Not like I constantly think about her, but more that there's a small voice in the back of my head whispering 'what if?' sometimes)

Which brings me here. I'm aware the best thing would be to unmatch and forget about her, but I gotta get my hope in life from somewhere, so I'm asking for advice on the second best thing to do. I kind of see 3 options:

  • Text her something along the lines of "At the risk of sounding like an asshole, could you text me in case it doesn't work out with your guy?" So that she knows I'm open about getting back in touch if she is
  • Ask her to just be friends
  • Hold out hope that she herself will get back to me if it shouldn't work out with her guy

I just feel like I should do something, but I don't really know what. I'm also open to suggestions for other things I could try



Submitted November 29, 2020 at 11:55PM

So Tinder's been rough on me. Like 15 matches in half a year of which only 3 replied to my messages. With 2 of these I didn't really hit it off, but 1 was really cool and I clicked with her.At some point she started replying much more slowly, until eventually she didnt reply for a week, after which she said that she'd met a guy with whom she wanted to see where it would go. She was very respectful about it, said I was a great guy and wished me well and I wished her the same.I realise I'm sounding pathetic, but I think it's on the one hand my lack of success with Tinder and on the other hand the idea that I have nothing to lose with her, but I've found it hard to completely forget about her. (Not like I constantly think about her, but more that there's a small voice in the back of my head whispering 'what if?' sometimes)Which brings me here. I'm aware the best thing would be to unmatch and forget about her, but I gotta get my hope in life from somewhere, so I'm asking for advice on the second best thing to do. I kind of see 3 options:Text her something along the lines of "At the risk of sounding like an asshole, could you text me in case it doesn't work out with your guy?" So that she knows I'm open about getting back in touch if she isAsk her to just be friendsHold out hope that she herself will get back to me if it shouldn't work out with her guyI just feel like I should do something, but I don't really know what. I'm also open to suggestions for other things I could try
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